Telling Zandramas

OK, so, oh my gosh, I finally worked up the guts to actually sit down with Zandramas and tell him the awful news. And holy crap, was he upset. I mean, he totally has every right to be - he thinks that I totally cheated on him and stuff. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I just couldn't. I couldn't make the words form. I felt so sick every time that I even thought of it- I just felt that leather collar against my neck and I knew that HE would come find me and kill me.

I thought for sure that Zanny would break things off; I mean, who would want to stay with a whore like me? I don't deserve anything as nice as him. But after his rage at being betrayed, he told me that no, instead, we should just totally move up the wedding, and then that way people would assume that the baby was his. And I'm all, HUH? Are you SERIOUS? I thought for sure he was pulling my chain. But no, even as angry as he was, he still loved me and stuff. That's so weird. I totally don't deserve that at all.

So, um, I guess we're getting married in a few weeks. I don't really know how I feel about Zandramas anymore - I've been ambivalent in my feelings about him since before Winter Veil - but I figure there's not another man alive who will take me, so I better just count my blessings and go through with it.