DEAD FISH

So tonight, after we'd been trying for a long time and just making silly mistakes and stuff, we TOTALLY KILLED the big fish thing that was lurking in the waters! And he even had COOL TREASURE! So here's the picture to prove it! Everyone else buggered off, but there's me with the sushi to show you that we TOTALLY DID IT!

Next on our list - Hydross, this big water elemental dude who gets all poisony when he steps off his platform! We totally tried fighting him some this week and we did really well! I bet we get him soon!

Lunch with Pizmo (finally)

OK, so, today was totally awesome. And I was totally dumb to be worrying so much and everything, but I'm totally getting ahead of myself, so I'll just describe what happened!

So, I'm going with Macmoran and couple other guys to kick the crap out of the stupid blood elves inside the Botanica, right? And we were totally going to bring this one mage and then he was like, oh crap, I can't go, so we needed another mage! And I saw Pizzy had woken up so I asked him and made him come! I was kinda worried that it would be awkward, and it was maybe a little at first, but he hugged me and I gave him his souvenir - a Bag of Jewels that I sewed for him. I embroidered a little tropical scene with a goblin shredder on it so it was still kind of Kezan-y, but at least this way he should totally be able to use it, right?

Anyway, so we totally go to the Botanica and we waste things and Pizmo doesn't seem to mind that I'm squeezing his hand or giving him a peck on the cheek when we have a bit of downtime. I was armed and prepared to butter him up - I totally baked some cookies and everything. So, we finish with the place, get a splinter of the Warp Splinter so we could show the Consortium dudes that we really cleaned out the joint, and then we boogied on back to Shattrath. I told Pizzy that he should have lunch with me. I changed into my totally gorgeous new robe and took a peek in the guild bank to make sure everything was going OK.

So, Pizmo finds me in the bank, and I turn around, and he's totally speechless! It was really funny to watch and listen to. It's funny, cause when we went swimming my swimsuit was totally off the shoulder like the dress, but I guess maybe he didn't expect me to be showing so much skin in public or whatever. At any rate, it was totally awesome to know that I affect him like that. We finally made our way down to the tavern, and we plop down on the bearskin rug and I get out some food and stuff.

Then Pizzy's all, why are you being so lovey dovey and stuff? And I'm like, um, I was gone for a long time and I missed you and I totally embarrassed you and I feel bad about it? And he's like, but you were mad, and now you're not - how the heck does that work? I guess he didn't think that his apology did any good, so I told him it was totally like when you put a bandaid on a wound, and then over time the wound heals up. I guess that sorta made sense. And then he's like, your emotions are so spontaneous and unpredictable! And I'm like, huh? Dude, you said women were brain-damaged! And then he's all, you're still mad; you look like you want to punch me out! And I'm like, NO! I'm just frustrated!

I can't remember how we segued - I prolly fell asleep or something - but then he started being TOTALLY romantic. Like, telling me my eyes were like the waters of the ocean in Feralas, reflecting moonlight or something like that. I TOTALLY wasn't expecting anything like that, and it was so awesome. I mean, he was really nervous and stammering and stuff, but he was TOTALLY sincere. I'd much rather have a nervous, sincere man than a suave phony, you know? And so I told him so.

That's when things got REALLY weird. OK, so there was this paladin guy talking to this chick up front - I think it was Genise - about enchanting his gear and stuff. And - get this - Pizmo totally starts quoting what this guy is saying in the middle of all this romantic stuff. And I'm like, HUH? And then the guy up front starts saying REALLY weird things, like "That's when I put my pants back on" and talking about swimming in oatmeal, and Pizmo is sort of repeating after him but is trying to change it into normal words or something? I dunno. It was REALLY bizarre. He FINALLY starts talking like a normal person again, and then he kissed me! I mean, we've kissed before and stuff, but Pizmo's always been too nervous to start the kiss himself.

All in all, despite the bizzarity, it was a really, really lovely afternoon. I totally think I'm falling for him. *grin*

SUPREME COMMANDER!

OK, so oh my gosh. You know, I've totally been the Emissary for a totally long time now and everything, but Zelanah's always held the keys to power and stuff. So like, if I decided that I didn't want to be Emissary anymore and we needed a new Emissary then I couldn't be the one to do it; she'd totally have to be here. Well, turns out that she was totally delivered the keys to the new guild bank, too! And so I tracked her down - she's totally been spending all her time on the farm lately - and I'm all, Zel, you totally gotta give me the keys to the bank! And so we hooked up at the Blue Recluse and she gave me the keys to EVERYTHING which is TOTALLY wild and crazy! So now I really am the head honcho in the Tower! And I could rename all the Wisdoms to be "Murphy" and call the Aspirants "New Guys" or whatever! But I won't! But I could!

Anyway, yay, we have a guild bank now! Huzzah!

Conference Day 6

Second to last day of this conference. Man, I'm so totally sick of Kezan. I mean, it was cool at first but man, I've been here like FOREVER! I think I'm going to stay away from Area 52 for awhile. And I'm going to go somewhere where there is NO humidity and enjoy how my hair is NOT frizzy every day and how there are not machines cutting down trees and how people realize there's more to life than money!

Ahem. Anyway, so another day of not presenting, but I can't go home because I gotta present tomorrow. I thought about attending the seminar on how to reuse undead parts, but I think Wynne was about to explode. So, we found this place called Profitopolis that had all these funky rides and everything. The people I asked said it was pretty popular with the little goblin kids, so I figured we'd try it out. They had one place called the Adventure Company where she got to pilot a miniature shredder, and the Steamwheedle Go-Cartel, where she got to drive goblin racers around a track. The whole thing was kind of chintzy to me, but Wynni was having a good time, so whatever. She's totally enduring this stupid conference thing with me, so I can shell out a couple gold to give her a good time.

So, I got on the comms this evening so I could communicate with folks about our upcoming Zul'Aman expedition, and investigate the newly constructed guild bank, and other kinds of taking care of business. Pizmo actually did show up on the comms tonight, and I tried talking to him again, and he was still totally non-responsive and everything. I have so had enough of this. When I get back, I'm gonna put on my blue and gold dress that I got from the Draenei, and I'm going to bake him some cookies and sew him a Bag of Jewels, and I'm gonna make him forget that anything ever happened except for some good old-fashioned lovin'.

Conference Day 5 (I think)

OK, so today I totally didn't have to present, but I decided it'd still be totally a good idea to attend some of the other seminars they were holding. I'm so totally glad I did! They had this one awesome one called "The Next Big Thin." At first I was like, come ON, how do they know? And then I totally remembered that hey, the gobbies totally had a town and everything before any of US got to Outland, so they must have some inside information.

Anyway, they were TOTALLY talking about how Northrend is the wave of the future! I'm like, what? It's all frozen and Arthasy up there. But whatever! They had some nifty information, so I think I'm going to investigate it further. Thing is, I totally had my demons doing the spying for me last time. Where am I gonna get an information ring for NORTHREND? Maybe I should go work on being friends with the furbolgs or something.

Oh! And they totally talked about how they're expecting to see a monumental increase in the use of zepplins and gryphons and bats today, because apparently today is the day that the Amani trolls are totally declaring war on EVERYBODY because they're emo and HATE THE WORLD. Or something like that. Sounds like fun! I'll have to take my army there next.

I thought about going to other sessions, but they were all things like "Slavery and You: How the Discovery of Outland affects the Age-old trade", "Supply & Demand in the Era of Portals" and so on. Bleah, boring. So Wynni and I totally bought a couple of tonks and had fun. She's having a hard time mastering the controls, which I guess is kind of understandable for a preschooler. I can tell she's going to have an awesome time with it when she grows into the controls, though. I wonder if I can teach her to build her own?

No word from Pizzy. Again. I really hope he's just busy scrubbing the streets of Ironforge or whatever instead of avoiding me.

Seminar on Legion Powerhouses

Another grueling day in seminar! This time I was presenting on demonic powerhouses in Outland, and I was like, guys, don't you want someone to present who's totally already FOUGHT them and stuff? But the goblins were all, dude, all the other guys we talked to were already super busy and couldn't come, or were like totally evil and scary. I guess they figured that I can't be evil and scary if I fall asleep all the time. WHICH IS TRUE! So yeah. I had to do lots of research on this one, but hey, at least they're paying me.

ANYWAY! So I talked about Magtheridon, and how he's all captured and crap but oh man, if he were killed then the fel orc operation in Hellfire Peninsula would be doomed. DOOMED I SAY! And I totally talked about the Legion's forge camps in Nagrand and the Blade's Edge and Netherstorm, and I totally talked about how those CRAZY blood elves are all kickin' it with the Legion now, and how Illidan has his own posse of demons who aren't really part of the Legion anymore. SUPREMELY COMPLICATED, don'tcha think? But they liked it, and I guess knowing about Outland's powerhouses will help them do business with adventurers trying to bring them down or something.

So yeah, that was basically my day. I presented the same information like 5 different times or something, cause there were a lot of gobbies there. I was totally wiped out at the end of the day. I didn't even bother logging into my comms. Wynni was really annoyed at all the quiet time beside the stage, so she was a total hellion. So, we didn't go out to do stuff; instead we just sorta hung out in our room at the inn and played some good games, like Ring Around the Gyromatic Micro-Adjustor.

Do you think Pizzy would like an Admiral's Hat inside of a Troll-hide bag? I know it's not totally glamorous or anything, but it's totally better than anything else I've come up with. I wish I could get my hands on some of the goblins' awesomest engineering doodads, but they're kinda overprotective. Sigh.

Sightseeing in Kezan!

So, today was a much more relaxing day than the last ones, and it totally felt like the vacation I promised Wynni. First, we were totally going to go see some Troll sights (being all cultural and stuff). We got to the edge of Undermine's city limits, and we were TOTALLY stopped by these big purple guys that looked like goblins except they were big and purple. "No. Trolls!" they told us, trying to steer us back to the city. Um, hello, I KNOW that, GOSH! I even demonstrated my mad warlock skills, hoping to get them to step aside, but no dice. Then I totally summoned an infernal off to the side, and they all ran after them. The purple guys mighta been big & burly, but boy, they're not very smart.

So, we went out into the jungle and we found a troll hunting party, and oh my GOSH they were so nice, they totally led us back to their village so we could have an awesome cultural lesson! They had a wicked cool ziggurat and this awesome voodoo decor, and they even had a jacuzzi! They totally invited me to sit in the jacuzzi, but I was like, no swimsuit! And it's not like Wynnikins is old enough for a jacuzzi. Then they got TOTALLY insistent, and I was like NO WAY, and they were all, AXES, and I was all OMG! So I did PEWPEW SEED OF CORRUPTION and HOLY CRAP RAIN OF FIRE and I grabbed Wynni and RAN AND RAN AND RAN!

Maybe those purple guys weren't so dumb after all.

ANYWAY! So, after our incredibly intriguing cultural experience, we decided to totally go swimming. All of the natural lakes were totally polluted by goblin machinery, but can you believe that they made FAKE LAKES just for SWIMMING? I swear, it's totally true! And we didn't have to worry about murlocs or fishies biting our toes or whatever. It wasn't too bad! Wynni is totally getting good at floating and kicking.

In the evening I totally turned on my comms to take care of some totally important Tower business, and Pizmo totally tuned into one of my channels. And it was kinda awkward. But I totally told him that I was so TOTALLY sorry! And... he didn't say anything. And I totally told him that I was sorry, over and over, and he totally didn't want to talk to me. Ugh. I don't know what to do now. I really, really wish I knew what he was thinking, and how to make it all better.

Conference Day 2

So, we totally got back to our inn at like 4AM. UGH. So, I got a couple hours of sleep to supplement what I got on the ship, but MAN, I was so TIRED today. And I had the hardest time falling asleep too - all I could think about was Pizmo and the MORTIFYING IDIOCY that went on last night. See, someone made a rude comment when all I did was squeeze Pizzy's hand, and I lost my cool and yelled that come ON, I was TOTALLY just hand squeezing and it's not like we re treating them to HOT GNOMISH PORN or something. Yeah, uh, so that was a dumb thing to say, cause it totally went downhill from there and I HATE EVERYONE and he's probably never going to talk to me again.

So yeah, I was just a little bit tired and distracted when I made the second half of my presentation. I think I might have gone over some of the demons I did yesterday. That's OK, though, cause man, some of those gobbies had NO CLUE what I was talking about. Like, seriously, who in this day and age has never heard of an INFERNAL? I got to do a fun object lesson there. At least, it was fun until the enslave spell ended. But then it was fun to watch him run into the crowd! Don't worry, no one got hurt! I think.

Anyway, so my presentation was a SMASHING SUCCESS (ahahahaha). My next one's not until Monday, but I'm so not getting on that stupid boat again. ARG. So, after a good nap, Wynni and I went out to discover what goblins do for fun. We totally found an arena where you could buy a fighting robot and totally do robot battles. Wynni loved it, and it was totally way safer than the steam armor battles down the street.

I'm totally looking forward to relaxing tomorrow! Maybe we can go shopping and I can find a totally awesome souvenir for Pizzy. Maybe that would make up for last night's fiasco. I sure hope so.

Conference Day 1 & Gruul

OK, so today was totally the first seminar. I was totally invited to teach the gobbies about the different kinds of demons in Outland and how to kick their butts! Since there are SO MANY demons in Outland, though, we totally had to split it up into two sessions, so I'm giving the second half of the seminar tomorrow. I covered Abyssal - Mo'arg today. You'd think that the guys in Area 52 would have communicated some of this stuff back home, but I guess they just sent adventurers out to deal with problems and reaped the profits themselves.

In the evening, I totally got summoned across the Nether to help fight Gruul and company. Ack! I didn't even have time to find a babysitter for Wynni, although now that I think of it, it would have been totally awful to leave her with a goblin. RECIPE FOR DISASTER, I'm telling you. So, I totally flew up to Evergrove and talked to the Wildlord guy there. Since he's taken such good care of that Natasha girl, and the Cenarion dudes totally think I'm awesome, I figured it was totally safe to leave her with them while I kicked butt and took names.

After cleaning up some ogres and Gronn, I collected Wynni (who had totally been sleeping, poor girl) and we caught a portal to Stormwind. UGH. I mean, it's totally fun to lead a MASSIVE ARMY in SMITING THE WICKED or something, but I still gotta present tomorrow, you know? So I'm totally back on this boat again. I need to get some sleep; it's going to be nearly sunrise when we get back to our inn.

Arrival at Kezan

Got to Booty Bay and got on the boat. Wynni was excited. Then she puked on me. Yuck! Fortunately, she was totally only sick in the first part of the trip. By the time we got there, it was like she had always lived on a boat. What a good girl!

So, we totally disembarked in Bilgewater Port, and of course there were like a bazillion seedy-looking goblins hoping to part me with my money, but you know what, I don't need their kitsch! So I totally summoned Pookie and Wynni and I rode through the underground tubes to Undermine. Man, those tubes are freakin' HUGE! And they totally went under water, so I was riding and HOLY CRAP SHARK UNDER MY FEET. I mean, I totally knew he couldn't get to us, but still, freakiness!

OK, so this was totally the first time I had ever been to Undermine, and I bet none of YOU guys have been to Undermine, so I'll totally try to describe it. Imagine Booty Bay, except without the water. Now multiply it like WHOA. Throw in a little Gadgetzan and you've got it! I mean, I totally thought elfy settlements were hard to navigate. With all the ups and downs and ins and outs, it's totally impossible to find where you're going! And of COURSE there are tons of gobbies hanging about, willing to show you to your destination for a fee. Stupid goblins. But I was totally tired and so was Wynni, so I ponied up. A guy named Raxxil showed me to my inn, the Triangular Merger. (And they say gnomes give their inns weird names, GOSH.) We pretty much just crashed - it was totally a long day.

Boomstick Spire Run!

So, I totally was in Shadowmoon Valley working on helping out the Netherwing dragons and stuff, and then I totally noticed that Pizmo was on one of my comm channels, and so I asked him what he was up to! And he was kind of uncomfortable about telling me, and then he finally fessed up that he was in Blackrock Spire with the Boomstick Gang - NAKED! So I asked if I could watch. He was kind of taken aback by that. But I pressed and he told me to contact the guy in charge, and so then I totally got to join them!

So I hurried over to Blackrock Spire and stripped, and I ran in and took a wrong turn and everyone had to save me, and then I was totally mortified because I was in my undies and everyone else was at least wearing a shirt or whatever. So what-EVER. I pulled on a dress. And it's like he'd be ribbed if I hadn't, and ribbed if I had. Stupid men. ANYWAY! So we ran through there and pretended that we were Dark Irons so maybe the Spire denizens would totally attack Blackrock Depths or something. Farfetched? Maybe. But it was fun!

And so, we finished, and then we portalled back to Shattrath. And Pizmo was all excited to show me that he liked doing interesting things... besides just "sitting around." And I was all, huh? Are you telling me that you see our previous evenings together as nothing besides just sitting around? Cause I mean, I totally thought it was getting to know each other and putting our hearts on the line and rejoicing at finding someone to trust. But you know, whatever.

But wait, it totally gets better. He was totally protesting and told me that he had already said he enjoyed those evenings, so why should have have to remind me? And I'm all, HELLO, girls like to be reminded of stuff like that. And then he says, "What, do they have some kind of mental defect that makes them forget?" Yes, I'm serious. He really did say that.

Well, I didn't get to be the Emissary of the White Tower for lacking tact, so I simply said "No," turned a heel, and totally stalked away. I managed to get as far as the elevator to the Aldor Rise before I burst into tears. I mean, seriously, WHAT GIVES? Things had been going SO well and then it's like he's been possessed. I thought maybe those friends of his in the Spire really got to him, and he was having second thoughts. And I began to think that maybe Kaetta was right.

After a few minutes, I saw him run out of A'dal's terrace and start talking to passers-by, who pointed him over to me. He apologized, and we worked everything out. It boggles my mind that he honestly didn't know what he had done wrong, but when I explained it in terms of graphs and variables, it all clicked with him. He responded by telling me that our affection for one another, if graphed, would look like a parabola, ever increasing without plateau. And to counteract "unknown variables" that could be destructive to the relationship, we should simply increase the amount of affection displayed. Hee.

So, the evening ended well, though I still have some lingering doubts now. I hope we can smooth things out, and I really wish I wasn't going to Kezan tomorrow.

Another evening with Pizmo

So, oh my gosh, it'd TOTALLY been more than a week since that amazing evening with Pizmo. And he kept telling me that we'd get together and do stuff, but then he stood me up again and again.. I mean, I know he's like an absent-minded inventor guy and stuff, but I mean... I guess I started totally thinking that he had changed his mind. Like, maybe he went home and was all, crap, I'm so in over my head or whatever.

So today, FINALLY, I convince him that we should get together and do something. So he asks me to meet him in Nagrand. OK. I kinda dozed off on my nether ray, and he woke me up, and asked me to go to one of the flying islands. Which, I mean, I like spending time with him and stuff, but it was kind of weird for the guy to suggest that we go sit and talk, you know? Unless he's just looking for action, but that doesn't strike me as Pizmo's style, know what I mean?

So, we get up there, and he looks at his gems, and then he's just quiet, but then he brings out some booze and starts nursing it. Now, I don't dig alcohol much, and it was weird for him to start drinking just out of nowhere, you know? And he was like twice as fidgety and sweaty and everything as usual. And I'm all, Pizmo, what's your deal? And he brushes me off, and offers me water which is totally gentlemanly and stuff, but isn't answering my question, you know?

So, I just let it go, and I asked him what he'd been up to, and he totally wigs out. After dragging it out of him, I find out he was totally doing community service in Ironforge. After MORE dancing around the issue, he fessed up. Remember last year sometime when some crazy gnome blew a hole in the side of the Deeprun Tram, saying it connected to Gnomeregan? Yeah, uh, that was Pizmo. I sure know how to pick 'em, huh?

But then he started explaining himself. He told me about evidences he'd found, and how angry he was that Ironforge had not lent any forces to help clean out Gnomeregan, how frustrated he was that the High Tinker hasn't really done anything besides send token adventuring parties in rather than launch a full-scale assault. And while I'm not sure I buy all the conspiracy theories and whatnot, I see where he's coming from.

He asked me if I thought he was crazy for all this. And you know what? Zandramas was crazy, in a delusional sort of way. I've known other really, truly crazy people. But Pizmo? He's a patriot that went about things the wrong way. Why should those who succeed be called freedom fighters and those who fail be called insane? And so I told him that. I think that pleased him as much as I was pleased the other night. I'm so thrilled he trusted me as much as I trusted him.