New Year's goals!

OK, so, the fjord DIDN'T freeze, and we were sailing all day yesterday and it was totally dull and stuff and our ship landed in Menethil today and BOY, I'm glad for the power of portals because dragging Wynne across the entire frickin' continent to get to the Dark Portal is not terribly amusing! Unfortunately, it wasn't Pizzy's portal that got us home. I totally left him a couple messages at his workshop, and I don't know if he even GOT them or not, and I really really hope that I see him soon and stuff.

ANYWAY, since it's Winter Veil and the year's almost over and stuff, now's TOTALLY a good time to make goals and everything, and since I'm totally in charge of a whole bunch of crap, I have a freaking ton of goals to set. But this year's going to be totally killer. I hope. Anyway! Here's what I've totally decided.

OK, so first of all, the ORDER of the WHITE TOWER! Maintaining the Order as a viable organization is SERIOUS work, particularly when the ties are more social than anything else. You can do something TOTALLY amazing, but if you never follow up then people just kinda of think that nothing ever happens, which totally isn't true, but it's totally exhausting to keep coming up with ideas and gathering interest and advertising and running it and then starting over from scratch. So, this year I'm totally gonna bug other people for help, because when I try to run everything then sometimes stuff doesn't get done, which I hate, but I guess that's kind of the reality of things.

ANYWAY! So, Layelle Ash'Therod, who's totally in the White Coven and stuff, has totally volunteered to help out with events. I totally discussed it with other officers and I think we're going to totally raise her to my old office, the "Activities Wisdom".

OK, so, I totally have help and all, what am I going to DO? Well, it totally occurred to me that while we talk about different covens and stuff, nothing ever really happens with them lately, so what's the point? So in JANUARY we're totally having coven-sponsored activities! I totally want each coven to come up with an activity that has an educational component and an activity component. FEBRUARY is going to be Racial Pride month! So, every race within the Tower will do some kind of activity (educational component is optional). The idea is to build solidarity and educate about diversity and stuff like that.

OK, so, those are the goals for the Tower. For my armies, I totally want us to start making serious progress in Serpentshrine Cavern and start venturing into Tempest Keep. I mean, the Lurker isn't all that big a deal to the Nagas or whatever - he's just a big fish - but when we smooshed Hydross, I think Lady Vashj noticed. She'll be totally tightening up her defenses and stuff, and we really need to PULL TOGETHER if we're going to kick her butt and get back that Vial of Eternity! I know we can totally do it - we just have to focus and stuff. And we really need to do this if we're going to launch attacks on the real threat out here - Illidan and the Black Temple!

As for Wynni, I totally think that I can start bringing her to more things. I mean, obviously if I'm lighting blood elves on fire then she should be somewhere safe, but I mean, she can totally come to guild meetings or business around town or whatever. I think that usually I'm just like, well, busy, need to leave Wynni at home when it's TOTALLY not the case. I guess I've been thinking a lot more about her future lately, and it's not like anyone's going to care for her if I get squished by a fel reaver unless they know she EXISTS! GOSH! And thinking along those lines, when would it be good for her and Pizzy to start getting to know each other? I mean, on the one hand I don't want her to get attached and be hurt if things don't work out, but on the other hand, if he's going to be an important part of my life then she SHOULD know him, right? Man, this single parenting stuff is totally complicated.

Anyway, so, those are totally my goals for the coming year. I'm going to push, push, push and make things work, cause I know that my organizations are the best anywhere, on or off Azeroth! Pizzy might have money, but I have the power to get people to DO stuff, and this year I intend to use that power for AWESOME!

Emissary to the Furbolgs!

Today, was totally a lot more busy. I really wanted to make sure that I had some contacts up here so I know what's shakin', you know? If my people are going to be going to be kicking ass and taking names in Northrend, then I totally need to get them some info so they're safe and stuff!

ANYWAY! So, I totally boogied up to the furbolg villages, and Noodler was like, dude, be careful, and I'm all, shyeah, I'll be fine, just take care of Wynni, mmmmmkay? I totally took the road up to Thor Modan in the Grizzly Hills, and the dwarves were totally like, holy crap, a gnome! They weren't really very positive when I told them I wanted to go and chit-chat with the furbolgs. Apparently the furbolgs aren't really excited about the dwarves digging in their hills for old crap or whatever... just like the Taurens! I mean, finding out about ancient history is fun and stuff, but it doesn't mean we should be totally starting wars or anything. ANYWAY! They totally pointed out where Drak'Tharon Keep was and told me to stay the heck away cause I guess it's held by Scourge. And they were like, oh yeah, don't try to go to Zul'Drak, or the Dragonblight, cause there's even MORE Scourge there. And I'm like, dude, I was kicking death knight butt in Naxxramas back in the day, I'd be totally fine!

At any rate, they totally got me pointed to Grizzlemaw, which is totally the furbolg capital city. I summoned Pookie and we rode through the blowing snows to the big old wooden walls and stuff. It kinda looked like Orgrimmar or something! They were a little wary at first, especially since Pookie's kinda scary-looking, but when I totally told them I was on a diplomatic mission, they let me in. I think I kinda confused them a bit - I'm totally smaller than the dwarves they had contact with, and I have awesomer hair, and I talk faster and stuff. Anyway, so I totally sat down with a couple of their elders, and I told them all about the Order of the White Tower, and they were like, cool, but what does that have to do with us? And so I asked them about reconnaissance and stuff, and they're like, why should we find out stuff for a tiny fluorescent dwarf? Man, finding crap out about Outland was totally easier - I could just make my demons do my bidding and they couldn't argue with me and stuff.

So, I totally tried to tell them that HEY, I'm so not EVEN a dwarf, and besides, I'm TOTALLY friends with the Timbermaw (well, at least, they'll talk to me now which is progress and stuff). And we just went back and forth like this for SUCH a long time, until I was like, you know what, I totally have to split if I'm going to make it back safely. So, I guess I can't really count on the furbolgs in the Grizzly Hills to give me good info, which is totally a bummer. Oh well. I TOTALLY have my ways, and I'll be able to find out crap for my friends, you just wait! Anyway, so Pookie and I flaming-hoofed it back through Thor Modan and all the way back to Westgarde. I had to fry a troll and a couple of wild animals in the process, but it's OK, cause I totally won.

When I got back, Britta had cooked up a nice meat pie with some of the leftovers form her family's Winter Veil feast, and it was awesome as always. In the evening, I totally went about the business of packing up and everything. Gosh, I can't believe that we're going already tomorrow! It seems like we just got here. It was SO totally wonderful to spend time with Noodler again and everything. On the other hand, it'll be totally wonderful to see Pizzy again. I hope I can totally get ahold of him to tell him to meet me at the docks at Menethil.

Winter Veil with the Frostbeards

So, today we totally got up early in the morning so we could get to Valgarde at a decent hour. Apparently this is the day each Winter Veil when Britta's family totally gets together for holiday stuff. So, we got all bundled up and climbed on to the rams - Britta and Noodler were totally sharing a ram, how cute is that? - and headed off to Valgarde. The weather had been nice yesterday and thte day before, but today it was really overcast as we started. And, as could totally be predicted, it started SNOWING while we were riding on thte rams. I totally thought we were going to get lost - I couldn't hear a darn thing with the screaming winds and everything. But I guess Britta and Noodler are totally used to this kind of thing, so they were like, no big!

Anyway, so we totally got there, and MAN, they so were not even kidding about the size of her family. I think she had like 4 brothers and 2 sisters, and they were all married and had kids and everything, and they were all running around crazy-like. Wynni was kinda freaked out by so many kiddos running around, especially since they were all bigger than her (dwarves, hello!). But it was fun times. They had like 5 different kinds of ale, and tons and tons and tons of foods and stuff. Noodler just grinned at me, cause we both were remembering the huge family get togethers that our family had when we were little. All the aunts and uncles from both sides and cousins and second cousins and everyone just crammed into one big house with the weirdest foods you can imagine! I can't remember a lot of the names and faces, which is probably just as well since they were all murdered by troggs anyways.

Then, just as Britta's father was getting ready to carve up the roast , Britta stood up and made an announcement. She and Noodler are EXPECTING! The baby is totally due just after the summer festival. Whee, I'm so excited - I'm gonna be an auntie! I'm so happy for Noodler. I told them that I could totally deliver their baby and stuff. Noodler just laughed and said that we'll see.

Would I be a totally horrible person to say how totally jealous I am? I mean, it's totally awesome that Noodler finally got married and is going to be a daddy and everything. But... I mean, this was supposed to be my gig. Ten years ago, I totally thought that I'd have like 3 or 4 kids running around by now, being a kick-ass midwife, enjoying family life with Rinkle and stuff. I mean, I totally dig being a hero and pewpewing dragons and stuff, but... yeah. Part of me still aches for this stuff, and it's so totally unfair the way my marriages have played out.

I mean, I guess I'm not totally a hopeless cause - I can totally always hope to get married again. Who knows what'll happen with Pizmo? But I totally get the impression that he's kinda freaked out by the idea of getting married. I mean, I don't want to get married like right this second, and I totally don't even know if our relationship is even gonna work out so we'd even get to that point, you know? But if we do, we'll have to confront that question. And I know you're totally thinking, OMG Duerma, you've totally already been married twice, why the heck would you want to get married AGAIN? GOSH! Well, listen, Mr. Know-it-all, my first husband was leper gnome'd and killed and my second one went batshit crazy and killed himself. It's not like I had crappy relationships that totally ended in divorce because I'm a total Lady Prestor or something.

And I totally have to think of Wynni. I mean, I totally think it'd be inappropriate for Pizzy to just move in with us. Besides sending her conflicting messages about the value of marriage and stuff, she's totally going to attach to him as her new daddy if he's around all the time. If she's going to have that kind of emotional attachment, then I want there to be some kind of legal connection to back it up, you know? And I know that it totally didn't work with Zandramas cause he totally buggered off even though we were married, but that doesn't count because of the dragons in his brain or whatever!

And WHY am I TOTALLY philosophizing about marriage and crap when I'm was totally talking about the Winter Veil celebration with Britta's family, GOSH! ANYWAY! So everyone was totally pumped for Britta's announcement, and then we totally dug into our food and it was SO yummy! It might be frickin' freezing up here, but these folks totally know how to cook stuff that'll stick to your ribs. After dinner, we played games like The Settlers of Khaz Modan, which was totally fun. I had a killer monopoly on ore and wheat, so even though I had trouble getting my villages built, I was totally kicking butt in building cities.

So yeah! Fun times with the Frostbeards. Noodler's got himself some totally fun in-laws, even if they ARE dwarves.

Catching up with family

So, I totally took a dreamless sleep potion last night so I slept well and everything, but of course since I went to bed at like 6 or something, I was still up a lot earlier than normal. It was totally OK, though, 'cause I was greeted by this:

Isn't that just a totally AMAZING sunrise? Seriously! I mean, it might be a ridiculously snowy place like Dun Morogh and everything, but at least there aren't these huge honkin' mountains to block the sun until it's practically noon or something.

OK, and can I say how INSANE I'm going being away from Pizzy? Seriously, I'm starting to think that maybe I should have put off the whole sex thing until after the break so then I wouldn't feel like I'm going without air or whatever. Is it always like this? I wish I could remember more about my early relationship with Rinkle, but then we were hardly ever apart because it was before Gnomeregan exploded and everyone's family lived in the same house.

ANYWAY! So, I got up, and Britta totally made us some Curiously Tasty Omelettes (and I was all, dude, Noodler, how'd you get a gal who cooks for you and stuff?), and then Noodler totally wanted to take us hiking, and I'm like, isn't there snow everywhere, and he's all, so? So we totally bundled up, and I made him strap Wynni to his back cause I'm like, she's totally not going to walk when she's freezing and stuff, and you're the athletic one Mr. Ironsmith! So he was all, OK, whatever, so long as you defend us, Ms. Super Awesome PewPewer. We rode out past the grain fields that surrounded Westgarde and started walking. It's totally wild how different forests are - like, the pine forests here are totally different from the trees that grow in Dun Morogh and Tirisfal and Silverpine Forest and Terokkar Forest and stuff. I guess maybe that's why druids don't get TOTALLY bored after a century or two.

So anyway, we totally spent maybe a couple hours out there, and then we totally came back and Britta was gone off to her job, but there was totally a tone of nice hot cider for us, so we warmed up good. And then Noodler and I totally got to catching up. He was totally there for the wedding, but I think he left like right before Wynni was born? And I've totally sent him letters and stuff - well, at least a couple of them - but it's totally different hearing it right from the source, you know what I mean? And it's not like he's heard ANYTHING about Pizzykins yet. He was tentatively happy for me - I think he may have met Pizzy waaaaay back in the days of the GCC? - but of course, he was totally an overprotective big brother and doesn't want me to get burned again. Noodler totally offered to beat the ever-loving CRAP out of Pizzy if he ever hurt me, and he totally could since he's totally beefy and everything.

Anyway, so I got to hear about how he and Britta met and got together and everything, which was totally sweet, even though I still think he's kind of a weirdo for marrying a dwarf, for heaven's sake. I asked him if he would ever move back to Azeroth so it wouldn't totally take for-EVER for me to come visit him, and he's like, no way, cause all Britta's family live in Westgarde and Valgarde. Dang it all! I totally need to get Pizzy to learn how to make a portal to Northrend or whatever so it's easy to go and see them.

Hello, Valgarde!

Oh my gosh, you guys, last night I had the worst nightmare EVER. I dreamt that Pizmo and I were making love, and then we rolled over, and instead of Pizmo it was Tiggs. I woke up in a cold sweat, but at least I didn't scream this time. That's totally progress, right? My first instinct was to turn on my comms and see if I could get ahold of Pizzy, but of course I didn't, cause HELLO, middle of the ocean = no reception, and besides, it was like 4 in the morning ANYWAYS. And what would I say to him anyways? "Hi, remember that talk we had about the past and how it totally doesn't matter and I'm cool now? Yeah, well, I'm still a little bit crazy." Geez, he totally has a hard enough time figuring me out without throwing PTSD crap into the mix too, gosh. So I totally tried to go through some of the exercises my therapist taught me, and it kinda helped a little bit, but I think I'm going to be using those dreamless sleep potions like every night or something, cause I totally know this won't be the last nightmare I have. Bleh.

So I TOTALLY could not get back to sleep after that, and so I just kinda got dressed and wandered around the ship and stuff. The few sailors that were up were totally giving me weird looks, cause HELLO, who wanders around at 4 in the morning, but what-EVER, what do they know anyways? I totally found out that we had dropped anchor and weren't reallly going anywhere at night. They told me that it was totally because icebergs and stuff sometimes come floating down from Northrend and they're totally hard to see or whatever, and it would be a disaster of titanic proportions if we were to run into one. That totally makes sense! Then I totally started asking them about how to do shippy stuff and they were really nice and stuff. I think they were totally excited to have someone awesome to talk to cause th graveyard shift can totally get boring and stuff. I figured I'd be totally wasted by the time we actually sailed into Valgarde, but whatever, Noodler'll understand and stuff.


So, I totally went back to my cabin as the sun was coming up, and Wynni was totally up already, jumping on the beds and stuff. We had breakfast, played tickle games, etc. until it was like noon? Maybe it was a little afternoon - it's so hard to tell with the winter sun. Anyway! That's when we actually saw Northrend! Huge cliffs and all that. It was pretty nifty. And then they showed us the narrow little passage we had to go through, and I was like, NO WAY, we are SO going to die, and they were all, chill! We had to wait just outside the fjord for a little bit, cause there was totally a ship coming out and it's not like you can pass each other or turn around while you're in there, you know? And geez, those cliffs were totally even taller than the ones in Azshara, seriously.

So, after what seemed like FOREVER, we finally started our journey through the fjord. Oh my gosh, you guys, we were moving so SLOW! I mean, it's not like the big old caravels can move super fast anyways, but I mean, this was even slower than normal. We had guys hanging out both sides of the boat, hollering back and forth about how close the sides of the boat were to the sides of the fjord. And oh my gosh, the WINDS, you guys. We had to put the sails down so we wouldn't get blown someplace dangerous, so they were totally just rowing, and the winds were totally just SCREAMING in our ears. Wynni started crying and holding her ears cause she totally didn't understand what was going on. We bundled up in our cabin and all, and that helped my feeling of impending DOOM and muted the sailing winds, but it was still kind of eerie and all.

FINALLY, after what seemed like FOREVER AGAIN, we felt the boat lurch to a halt and the anchor being dropped and everything. We gathered our crap and hurried up and deck, and there was Valgarde! It was totally an impressive site, too. After that skinny little fjord we passed through, it totally opened up into this frickin' HUGE bay, and there were houses and docks and everything lining the whole thing. Noodler was waiting out in front, which is good, cause I'd totally never find him amidst all the "tallheads" (as Pizzy would say, hee). I gave him a HUGE hug, and he scoooped up Wynni in his arms cause he was so totally pumped to meet her, and she totally freaked out cause OMG stranger.

He told me that he totally didn't live actually IN Valgarde - I guess he didn't jibe very well with the people there or something? I dunno. Instead, he lives up in WESTGARDE, which was totally up on the cliffs and stuff. That, uh, freaked me out just a little bit. Makes me really wish I had remembered my parachute cloak and stuff! So, he got on his ram, and I summoned my fire horse of DOOM to carry us to our final destination, which was still another couple hours away. GEEZ.

When we FINALLY got there, it was a cozy little house that kind of had both human and dwarven architecture. Noodler's wife, Britta, was totally inside cooking dinner for us and everything, cause by that time the sun was TOTALLY going down and man, we were starving and everything! She was TOTALLY cute (well, you know, for a dwarf and stuff). We had seafood gumbo and hot cider to drink. Mmm, it was SO good. I was ready to crash at that point after all the traveling and getting up early; Noodler & Britta told us they'd be fine taking care of Wynni while I went to sleep.

Journey to Northrend!

Ugh, so even though I TOTALLY wanted to sleep in just a little bit this morning, Wynni was still up and bouncing around at seven in the morning, and I'm like, can't you go back to bed, and she's all, No way! I guess I was gone almost the whole day yesterday, and I totally promised her that it would be just her and me til the end of Winter Veil and stuff. Sometimes it's totally hard to figure out how to balance family with work and other stuff! So I was like, OK, whatever, and I let her play with my tonk til we were totally ready to go.

First, I TOTALLY checked the mail and there was a letter from Pizzy saying that he couldn't stop thinking about our wonderful day together, and he totally gave me another heart candy - this one said "I'm all yours." Eeee, he is so ADORABLE! Ahem. Anyway. We rode down the elevator and hopped through the Ironforge portal and caught a quick flight to Menethil. I was totally trying to time it so we'd get there about the time they'd be boarding the ship. I guess there are a couple decent places in Menethil, but for a dwarven and human town, it's a pretty big hive of scum and villainy, if you know what I mean.

So, we got on the ship, and we had some nice accommodations that I've totally been working my tushy off to pay for. Is it totally awful that I brought along some dreamless sleep potions for Wynni to take during the trip? She was just retching so badly during our South Seas Voyage - I'd hate for her to stay in such misery. Anyway! We totally didn't have a lot of passengers, which I thought was totally weird, but it turns out that we were gonna stop at Kul Tiras to pick up more people. I guess if it's on the way, that's good planning or something, but I totally wish I'd have known cause then I coulda launched from there and saved some cash! I gave Wynni some potion and I actually took one myself, cause man, those coast-hugging voyages can be totally ROUGH!

So, after we woke up, we wandered about the ship a bit, and I totally met this regiment of marines from Kul Tiras. They were going up to Valgarde to help strengthen the defenses there or something - there's been a lot of troll attacks and what not. (STUPID TROLLS! Holy crap, they are just EVERYWHERE and making EVERYONE'S lives miserable, GOSH!) They totally had this really funny accent and used weird vocabulary when they talked. I guess when you live on an island nation that doesn't have a whole lot of in and out, your speech will be a bit different from everyone else. ANYWAY! So one of them - Corporal Swenson - put his helmet on Wynni and it was so funny because it was totally as tall as she was. She was sticking her little arms out the eyeholes and hollering frantically.

That's pretty much it for today. Traveling is really pretty boring compared to kicking Naga ass and taking blood elf names, but eh, what can you do? And not like this is a super big surprise to anybody, but I totally miss Pizmo something awful. I totally forgot to tell him that I actually sold some of my arcane dust to help finance this trip - he'd be so proud of me. Hmm. Maybe I can send him a postcard or something when I get there.

Totally Rockin' Winter Veil Party!

OK, so AFTER the amazing day with Pizmo and AFTER I kicked troll booty (I swear, this all happened on the same day - stuff comes in spurts! Either I"m supremely busy or nothing's going on!) I went to the Winter Veil party in Winterspring! My hope was to have a totally big fun shindig with the Order of the Rose cause they are totally cool people but my Tower folks kinda had a hard time mingling which made me sad. But Shael was totally pretending to be Greatfather Winter and having people sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. SO FUN! I totally did that with Lord Victor Nefarius last year but he wasn't terribly amused.

ANYWAY! At least we totally had our gift exchange! I totally made a bag for Rakhuntres cause I didn't know what to get her and I thought, well, hey, everyone needs bags, right? But Moonfalora TOTALLY gave me the best gift EVER! It was a TONK! And so I totally started driving it around and blasting things and Storm got a tonk too so we had a big PEWPEWPEW battle and it was SO AWESOME! And Kitty-Kaetta was there and she totally asked me about my day with Pizmo and was totally excited (and totally jealous) that it went so well.

Then I fell asleep and didn't wake up for awhile because Ziltal buggered off - I guess maybe he's afraid of the awesome tonk or something. Lame! So when I woke up, all my Tower folk were totally buggering off! I know some of them had an appointment to smack some ogres and gronn around, but I think some of them were just totally shy. Too bad! I totally stuck around and had a blast. I met Rollandren's two adopted kids - a human girl and an orc boy who had nifty but weird names that I totally cannot remember. I showed them my kickin' tonk and my fighting robot that Tegoelf made me and some warlocky magic stuff and all, and I think they were totally entertained and stuff. I totally wish I had brought Wynni! She totally would have dug having other kids to play with.

So then I totally fell asleep for a long while again (must remember that stupid imp is afraid of tonks! Failure in his duties, psh!) and when I woke up, the Roses were TOTALLY getting ready to play charades. And so I'm like, oooh, PICK ME! And I got picked! I was totally on a team with Shael and Xija and Neltarin (least I think that was his name; hadn't met him before). So first, Neltarin totally impersonated a chicken, and I guessed so fast that he was like, holy crap! And then Shael pretended to be a succubus, which was pretty funny. And then it was totally my turn, and I was a DRAGON! And then Xija was a rogue. I didn't guess that one so well. Then Neltarin was a moonkin, and I totally got that right TOO! So they told me, hey Duerma, you're so totally awesome at guessing that you should totally take on the other team! And I'm like, right on! So we hustle back to the other team and wait for them to finish up (and they totally had some really weird crap, like the paladin who impersonated Dalaran - I was all, huh?), and then it was Hino and me in a battle of the MINDS! And so then Shaila started walking on her tiptoes and I'm like, oh my GOSH, you are so totally a DRAENEI and Hino was all, say what, and Shaila was all, right on! And that's how I TOTALLY won at charades.

Afterwards, Shael was like, hey, do you still wanna visit with Greatfather Winter? And I'm like sure, even though I was still kinda snickering about his succubus impression. And so I sat on his lap and he asked my name and what I wanted for Winter Veil. It totally took me a second because I was like, dude, I just totally had the best day ever, what more could I want? And so then I told him that I wanted a Blessings Deck and a flying machine and a dolly for Wynni and some neato schematics for Pizmo and a pet Shiva and some other crap I can't remember. It was totally fun. And then it was totally MORE fun to see this ginormous Draenei guy try to sit on his lap to do the same thing!

By that time, I was TOTALLY pooped. I told everyone TOODLES and headed back to Shattrath for a good night's sleep. Well, to finish packing and a good night's sleep. I'm so totally glad our ship doesn't leave until like noon or so!

Rocking Zul'Aman

So yeah, Tarq totally tracked me down (I guess as a rogue you are good at finding people cause you're totally sneaky yourself and stuff) and asked me to come punt some troll up in Zul'Aman cause Hamelin totally was missing, and I'm like Holy crap! I've totally never been there before! Totally exciting! And Ila and Buu were totally there and I totally miss smashing ghosts with them every week and stuff. So, we totally went in and there was this dude named Harrison Jones who was some kind of explorer guy and he totally needed our help to get inside and stuff. And so we helped him, and then he was like, haha, suckers! And I'm all, RUDENESS! But then he totally got eaten by trolls, which is kind of gross and not a good fate for anyone but I guess he kind of had it coming to him. Anyway, so we totally go in and the trolls are totally pissed that we busted into their city and all so they're sending TONS of guys after us. It was total chaos! But we totally sheeped and mind controlled and scared them while beating the crap out them and stuff.

So, we get to the top of this platform thing and there's this REALLY tall ugly troll! And he's totally taunting us and stuff, so we're like, Bring it! And so Chryste and Calen totally go in, Calen goes all bear, and then the ugly troll guy's like HEY, I can be a bear TOO, GOSH! And so then he was a bear and Chryste was beating on him, and then he was like, HEY, I can be a person TOO, GOSH! And it totally went back and forth like that. Talk about identity crisis! But we totally kicked his butt and Safira totally plundered his closet for some totally pimp shoulders.

So THEN, we totally go over to the other side of Zul'Aman, and this troll saw us, and he's like ZOMG, INTRUDERS! And so there were guards going up this hill and they kept sending more guards from behind and big old flocks of birds again. AGAIN, total CHAOS! I don't think we're in the Molten Core anymore, Ziltal! And we totally got to the top of the hill and killed the guy who was sending all this crap after us and we got a breather. So we ran up to the top of the stairs, and there was this guy who had a troll body but an eagle on his noggin! Hello, weirdness! And so we totally had to spread out cause he'd shoot electricity at people. But THEN, every so often, he'd totally make a storm appear over someone, and we'd totally have to group up under them or get zapped with LIGHTNING! And then he had these other birds that were totally swooping in and nipping at all of us, and I was supposed to take care of them, but seriously, every time I killed one then another would come so I was like, what's the point, but whatever! We totally kicked his booty, and Zalbuu took the necklace he was wearing.

I totally had to leave then, cause I had a party to get to and Hamelin had finally showed up and stuff. But I'm glad I totally got to kick the butt of two troll demigod things! Boy! I totally can't wait to go back! Fun times in the forest!

Happy Winter Veil, Pizmo

OK, so after the whole brouhaha in Ironforge, I was feeling pretty bummed, so I totally went out with Kitty-Kaetta to a pub and chatted about it over drinks (milk for me, hard liquor for her). She pointed out that from what I've described of Pizzy, he was probably just insecure, and it's not really evident of any deep-seated trust issues or anything. I guess that hadn't really occurred to me. Oops. So as we chatted and I thought about it, I came up with a plan that was totally opposite of what I had been thinking before.


So! I totally met Pizmo in Ironforge, and we had a nifty holiday meal and stuff up on the balcony at Bruuk's. And we totally talked about what happened, and he apologized... for trying to be possessive of me and stuff. I'm like, what? I mean, we've totally been seeing each other for a couple months now, and I'm not seeing anyone else, and he's totally not seeing anyone else, so we're already exclusive by default which would totally give him the right to be upset and stuff. But he said that if I wanted to bed Lightlance (HOLY CRAP EW) or whatever then he wasn't going to make any noise about it. And then he said something about bracing himself for me leaving him, and I'm just like HOLY CRAP. I mean, we'd guessed that he was kind of insecure and stuff, but for the love of demons, man, I'm not just going to randomly bugger off or anything.

So, I had us verbally agree to be exclusive which we were TOTALLY doing anyways - not cause I expect any of us will DO anything, but at least he has that little bit of peace of mind, right? And then I totally had him follow me to the gates of Ironforge, and I BLINDFOLDED him! Hahaha! In retrospect, this game was totally better for the problems I THOUGHT were there and not the REAL problem, but hey, whatever, it still worked out OK and made my point and stuff.

OH YEAH! What we actually did, GOSH. So, I totally took his hand and told him this was an exercise in trust and stuff. I'd tell him where we were but not where we were going. I think he enjoyed it? It's totally hard to figure out if I can't see his eyes or anything, which incidentally is why I prefer him to take off his goggles, but that has nothing to do with anything so back to the matter at hand! I TOTALLY rented this little cabin in eastern Dun Morogh (near the quarry and all) and stocked it with hot apple cider and stuff, and so that's where we went. I totally didn't take his blindfold off til we reached the bottom of the stairs, hahaha!

So, we totally had some cider (his was spiked a little to ease his mind, hee), and then I went about seducing him, asking him to trust me at every critical juncture. And it went really well - even better than I had expected, which is totally awesome. And since the lighting was low, he totally didn't even notice my stretch marks and scars and stuff, so that made things even EASIER. For his part, I know he was really self-conscious and everything, but you know what? I didn't care in the slightest, because I can't remember the last time that I made love with a man that I really, truly cared for. (No, I'm serious - that's not just a dramatic cliche. Zandramas was already on his way out by the time we consummated our marriage, and my memories of Rinkle are really sketchy. Stupid Gnomeregan radiation.) And there was something about watching him watching me that was really special, kinda like experiencing this again for the first time through his eyes.

After we finished, we totally exchanged Winter Veil gifts. He gave me a little candy that read simply "You're the best." I had been expecting something a little more showy, since he's all about the money and stuff, but it was TOTALLY cute. Then he opened his gift. He was totally FREAKING OUT about the schematic - seriously, I've never seen him so incredibly excited. That made me as happy as the lovemaking did. So then he's like, let's go celebrate! And he totally yanks me up the stairs and outside (YES we were dressed, you weirdo!) and we shot off fireworks into the snow. He's so totally adorable.

He asked me when he would see me again, and it totally sucks cause I don't think it's going to be until after Winter Veil is over and it's the New Year and stuff. I mean, I'm totally leaving tomorrow to visit Noodler and his wife up in Valgarde, and I won't be back til at least the 26th or so (worse if that stupid fjord freezes over again). As the reality of that set in, I totally didn't want to go - I just wanted the afternoon to keep lasting until forever. It was just so perfect, you know? So as he was talking about making portals and Tower harassing me or whatever, I wasn't even paying attention - I just snuggled in closer to him.

Finally, he decides that it's totally freezing standing out there in the snow, and he suggests we get inside somewhere, so I totally tugged him back to the cabin, and for all of his talk of leaving and business or whatever, he totally came with me. We spent another good 3 hours together, drinking cider, talking, laughing, making love. It was pretty much the most perfect day EVER. And I think he totally did loosen up a little bit - at least, he wasn't nearly so nervous as the day stretched on - so I guess we've made some progess.

Unfortunately, as good things ALWAYS do, the afternoon had to end. He got called away for some economic crisis and I totally was recruited to help Tarqy-Tarq smoosh trolls in Zul'Aman. It totally broke my heart to have to finally separate - I can't believe it's going to be so freaking LONG before I even get to talk to him again! But I'm so totally glad that we got things resolved and stuff is so good between us again and stuff.

So yeah. Anyway. Best day EVER.

DEAD PUDDLE

So oh my gosh, we totally go back to Serpentshrine Cavern after like a week of not doing anything at all, and there were SO many people who couldn't make it, so we had like 10 people with us who had totally never even been before. And we decide, you know what, we need to kill Hydross. He's sitting right there, and he smells funny when we run by. So we spend all night working on him, and he's beating us up pretty bad, and then all of a sudden it's like everything CLICKED and everyone knew what to do and then BAMF! Dead Hydross!

Woo, we are CRUISING! I totally hear that we get to beat up a sea giant next! Yay!

Death of a friend

So, I was totally coming back form killing Kaliri and stuff in Skettis when I ran into this gal. I had landed, and she totally called my name, and I'm all, who the heck are you? And she said that her Lady had spoken fondly of me. Turns out her lady was SHANNAH, who I totally used to kick booty in Blackwing Lair with! And she told me about how Shannah really enjoyed fighting alongside me, and had spoken highly of me and stuff. But then, when I asked how Shannah was doing, she totally told me that Shannah had been MURDERED while she was away! This gal received her HAIR and EYEBALL in the mail! HOW SICK IS THAT OH MY GOSH. Geez, even just thinking about it makes me want to retch. It's just... I don't know. I can't even describe it.

She hasn't seen Shannah's hubby, Hugnir, since then. She doesn't even know if he's still alive or if he knows what happened to Shannah or anything. Well, I mean, he died and everything, but he totally already came back from dead one time and there've been rumors of him wandering about.

So, anyway, if you know anything, let me know. I'd love to be able to get to the bottom of this.

A matter of trust

Oh. My. GOSH. You guys. Words cannot even DESCRIBE how upset I am. I just - AUGH. I don't know how much longer this relationship with Pizmo is going to last, which is totally whack because things were SO good just a couple days ago. I totally don't even know what to do here.

OK, so, backing up. I was totally chatting with Pizzy about Karazhan and his jewelry business while I was in Shadowmoon Valley, and I was trying to figure out a good excuse to go see him instead of just saying "HEY, let's get together" 'cause I was afraid he'd say it was too late or he was too busy with business crap or whatever. And then I totally remembered I had this Star of Elune in my pocket that I needed to get cut for Lightlance before tomorrow (since he totally got some awesome new boots and needed them to be pimp before we kick the crap out of Lurker and friends). So, I flew back to Shattrath, and I changed into a dress, hoping for maybe a little sumpin-sumpin after the gem cutting and all.

So, I found him in Ironforge near the bank, and at first he was happy to see me, but then he started asking questions like "is this lightlance all muscley and heroic" and I'm like, um, I guess. I mean, come on, he's the number one beating-taker for my Serpentshrine Cavern expedition. You don't get that position without being all burly or whatever. And then Pizmo's all like, well, why are you getting this cut for him? And I'm all, well, we're going to punt Lurker and Hydross tomorrow, so he needs to be totally pimp, and there weren't any solid stars for sale when he looked, and I was like, well, my Pizzy is the best gemcutter EVER and I'll be seeing him soon so I'll totally just get it cut then.

Then, I don't know what happened, but he just goes TOTALLY BALLISTIC, and accused me of cheating on him with Lightlance! I'm like, what the CRAP are you TALKING ABOUT? And he points at my dress and mentions my errand, and why was I dressed like that, and I'm like, CAUSE I'M COMING TO SEE YOU, GOSH. And he accused me of being at dinner with Lightlance before coming to Ironforge, and I'm like, what? I was killing Nethermine Flayers before I came here, and I totally haven't even SEEN Lightlance for awhile, he MAILED me the stupid gem, and what the CRAP is his PROBLEM. And he's like, well, what am I supposed to thing, and I'm all, you should freaking TRUST ME. And we just kept going around and around in circles.

Finally, I was like, fine, I'll take my business elsewhere. And he insisted on cutting it. So I said, OK, and I'll go off and disenchant this dress because obviously it's not something I should be wearing, and I'll be sure to pick up some ragged crap from the auction house or whatever. And he's all, no, I like it, so I ask why he's giving me such CRAP about it? I agreed not to melt it, but you can bet your brass bolts that it's going to be used for mopping and dusting or whatever.

So, then he apologized for drawing conclusions and yelling at me in the middle of freaking Ironforge, and then we're all just standing around awkward-like. I kept hesitating to go, cause I kept thinking that maybe that would be the moment when he'd say, hey, let's have dinner or throw snowballs or whatever to help make up for bad feelings and all. But no. So I totally just hearthed and cried.

So yeah. Worried. And pessimistic. I mean, he may have apologized for that particular instance, but none of this would have ever happened if he had trusted me. And I already talked about earlier how I'm having problems trusting him. Geez, I thought everything was awesome - was I just blinded by kisses and kind words? How can we have a freaking relationship if we don't trust one another?

Maybe Kaetta was right. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered in pursuing this in the first place.

Nether Dragon!

So, OK, I've totally been doing all this work for the fel orcs so I could totally help free the Netherwing dragons! I've totally been working up through the ranks and was a commander and everything in the fel orc base and stuff! And today I totally finished flinging my booterang at peons, and they're like, dude, Duerma, you're so freaking awesome that we took a vote and we decided to make you a HIGHLORD! And we totally are going to have our ultimate supreme overlord guy do the promoting. So I'm all, Kay.

And you know who it was? ILLIDAN FREAKING STORMRAGE! HOLY CRAP! And he was like, you morons, she's totally not an orc, she's a sexy and talented gnome so you should KILL HER DEAD! And then this goblin guy that I had totally been giving eggs to? He was like, ZOMG NOWAI! And then he TOTALLY turned into a DRAGON!

And he TOTALL flew me to Shattrath away from the evil Illidan and stuff! It was freaking awesome! And I get to Shattrath and the dragons were all like, hey! You are freaking amazing, so you can pick one of us to be your buddy and fly around in Outland and stuff! So I'm like, SWEET! So guys, I totally want you to meet.... KUTCHIKU!

Trashy Romance Novels

So, um, okay. I'm trying to figure out how to write about this and still be discreet and everything. Pizzy was off extracting air motes in Nagrand, and I'm all kicking booty for the Netherwing guys, and we were just kinda chatting on our comms and stuff (which was totally nice, by the way, must do that more). I asked him what he wanted for Winter Veil, since it's totally coming up and stuff, and he totally turns the question on me. So I'm all, um, I dunno, a new enchanting recipe would be killer, or a FIGHTING ROBOT! And I asked him what he wants, and he's like, um, a schematic for a fighting robot? Ha! So funny. So I said I'd look, but it's kind of a rare recipe, so what does he want if I can't find it.

"You, in nothing but a silk sheet, in front of a fireball - er, fireplace - with sweet smelling oil to rub on your back..."

I seriously dropped my comms right there. That was seriously like the LAST thing I expected him to say. And then... well, that's when it gets weird. He started retracting his words, saying that oil was a dumb idea, and I'd catch on fire or something, and I'm all, what? Why'd you even SUGGEST it if it wasn't something that sounded appealing to you? And then he kept talking about how the robot would be totally cooler than a nice romantic evening, but then he'd non-sequiterly add details about the evening, and I'm like, do you even KNOW what you are saying?

So, then, I ask him when he wants to do it, and he said maybe he'd spirit me out of a guild meeting or something, and I'm like WHY would you do that when I have all this other time otherwise unaccounted for? And he's like, it'd be quick, between speakers or whatever, and I'm all, do you even KNOW what you are TALKING ABOUT? I'm not some Goldshire "wham bam thank you ma'am"!

And so I asked him if he's reading crib notes from a trashy romance novel, and he tried to defend himself, and ultimately confessed that he wrote some stuff down. Look, it's OK if you get ideas and everything, and I guess you can read crib notes if you're REALLY that nervous. (Geez, I didn't think I was THAT intimidating.) But for the love of everything, just tell me the damn truth, kay thanks! I mean, it's not like I can't tell, and all his posing and stuff just upsets me, not make me like him more or whatever the heck he's thinking. So, I told him to actually consider stuff he proposes instead of just reading it off, and maybe we'll get somewhere.

Ugh. I didn't think sex was such a big deal. I was looking forward to being intimate with him, but with all this nonsense going on, I just kind of want to get it over with so he'll freaking RELAX.

Conversations by a waterfall

So, I know I totally haven't written anything in like FOREVER, and that's TOTALLY been because nothing's happened! I mean, I'm like, sheesh, how do I keep getting into relationships where I never get to see the other half? But today I FINALLY managed to catch Pizzy when he wasn't totally busy, and he TOTALLY found this pretty place in Nagrand for us to go to! I'm so totally excited that he's taking a little bit of initiative and stuff.

Anyway, so we get up there, and it's just TOTALLY gorgeous. I gave him a couple gems to cut for me, and he totally did, and I at LEAST got to see him cut the topaz. Did you know that he can make them be shiny or matte and it totally doesn't affect the function of the gem? SERIOUSLY! I totally don't get what facets and everything make the gems function differently. But Pizzy does! He can seriously cut like EVERYTHING. I told him htat I was bragging about him to my friends and he's all, what? And I'm all, TOTALLY! And then - oh my GOSH, you guys - I fell asleep and dropped the gems he just cut. And then I guess he found them, but they were stuck on the neckline of my dress, and so he's all freaking out and coming at me with these scary looking tools and crap.

ANYWAY! So, he totally started asking me how the Tower was going, and I totally told him about Zelanah making me supreme overlord of everything, and he's like what the crap did she do that for? And I'm like, well, it's not like she ever comes around anymore, and someone's got to lead the Tower. And he's like SERIOUSLY freaking out over this, saying that I'm overburdened and people are harrassing me and crap, and I'm like dude, I like doing this. And he seriously CANNOT GET why I would want to be the Emissary of the Tower, or lead armies into dangerous places or whatever. And I'm like, what's NOT to love? MAN.

And so then I'm like, well, see, we're just different - I like the thrill of leadership, and you like business, while you hate the idea of being a leader and I couldn't stand to be in business. Boy, that set him off! He spent like the next half hour trying to convince me I should start my own clothing line, and telling me abotu allthe markets I could penetrate and crap, and I'm just like, WHYYYYYY? I mean, I have enough for me and for Wynni, and while yeah, financial security in the future is always nice - it was thinking along those lines that goe this whole thing started, right? - but I'm not going to open a freaking business. I have neither the time nor the interest. And he's all trying to convince me and I'm like AAAA MY BRAINS.

So I tried to explain that I was building social capital, and if it really bugged him then we could freaking get MARRIED so then it's not a problem or whatever. Except, I kind of chickened out and it didn't come out like that and he thought I meant we should start a business together. Blah. Not that I'm like HEY LET'S GET HITCHED RIGHT NOW, cause I'm totally not, but come on, isn't the definition of marriage through the history of the world where the wife manages social contacts, the husband brings in the bacon, and there's sex and kids on the side? Just sayin'.

Anyway, so the idea of a business partnership - heh - seemed to make him happy. So, we moved on to, um, other things that I won't discuss in a public blog. And it was good and stuff. But... arg. I wish Pizmo wouldn't make crap up to impress me. I don't really care, and it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm going to think him totally more wonderful if he's done all this stuff. And it really gets in the way sometimes. Like, I asked him this one question where it was totally important for him to tell the truth, and I had to drag the answer out of him, and he only fessed up when I made a really big deal about how the answer mattered and stuff.

I mean, I guess that he's totally just nervous to have a girlfriend and he wants me to like him and crap (geez, is this a blog or a 35 year old's diary?), but I really need to make sure he's not going to lie to me on the big stuff, you know? I don't want him to be all of a sudden, hey! I totally embezzled money and I am already secretly married to a goblin man in Northrend or whatever. Not that I expect that - I mean, I trust him and all - but still, it makes me kinda squeamish, you know?

Anyway, whatever. It was an amazing afternoon, and I think I totally love him even if he can be a pud about some things.