I'm ENGAGED!!!!!

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!!!!

OK, so, like, I spent the day with Pizmo today, which is totally normal and stuff. And we met up in Dalaran and I totally showed off the new clothes I had made because they're totally sweet. Then we went to the Grizzly Hills, and I showed him where the gryphon masters hung out, and we totally helped this little girl get back to the Westfall Brigade. And then we went to Amberpine lodge (and totally stayed away from the Amberseeds), and we sat under the deck and talked.

So, Pizmo said he'd been doing thinking and stuff, and he totally had some questions that he wanted to ask me, and I was like, OK. And then he was all, you can't get mad. And I'm like um... OK? And so he starts in, and he's like, have you ever worked for the Lich King or the Burning Legion, and I'm all, WHAT? Um, no, hello? And he's like, JUST CHECKING and moved on to the other questions. He asked stuff like if I'd be OK if we never had children, and what his day-to-day life would be like, and stuff I'd expect of him. I didn't really think we were covering any new ground, you know? I totally thought we'd gone over all that before, but I guess it made him feel better by asking it.

And so then he started fishing around in his bag for something, and he knocks something down the hill, but he doesn't notice and keeps digging, and I'm all, um, Pizzy? He was about to give up when he FINALLY listened to me and went scrambling after the box. And so he gave it to me - it was wrapped up, and he said it was for Winter Veil, but then he got down on one knee, and I'm all ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh and so I open it and inside was this AMAZING RING. A TITANIUM SPELLSHOCK RING set with a RUNED SCARLET RUBY. Do you know how much that must have COST? I mean, the setting alone goes for 3500 G or so! And he totally made it for ME!

And then he said, "By the power invested in me by the Dalaran Magi Council" or something like that "I hereby pronounce you wife and companion forever" or something. And I'm like... huh? And he's like, what's wrong? And then he pulled out this pamphlet and was all, OH CRAP, someone else does that part. So he starts to ask, and I say yes, and he's like, hey, lemme finish, and so then he asks me to marry him! EEEEE! And of course I said yes like 5 times and I slid the ring onto my finger. But then he was like, um, so, what's your answer? I guess he was so nervous about doing it right that he hadn't been paying attention. So I told him yes again and he was so excited that he tackled me and nearly sent us careening down the cliff into the river!

So that's it! That's how it happened! I can hardly believe it! We haven't picked a date or really figured out anything yet - we were just to excited to talk - but I'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough!

It's not you, it's me. Seriously.

Well, that explains why I was so crabby yesterday – my monthly reassurance that I’m not pregnant showed up this morning. I had forgotten that was going to happen while we were here. Fortunately, I totally remembered supplies before we left, so the only embarrassment was a delay in fixing breakfast.

Well, at least at first. When I put Wynni down for a nap, Pizmo wanted to get a little busy, and I’m like, you know what, this is so not going to work today. And he’s all, holy crap, you’re actually buying into what Noodler said, aren’t you? You don’t think it’s OK for us to sleep together before the altar because of your brother. And I’m like, no, that’s not it at all – just a bad day, is all. And he’s like, Noodler doesn’t know Pizmo at all, he has no right to say all that stuff. He can get SO focused on a single argument that he doesn’t pay attention to rebuttals unless they totally slap him across the face. It makes me crazy.

So finally, after he carried on for a while, I’m like, look, the reason we can’t sleep together right now is because I’m bleeding and it would be painful and messy, so you’re just going to have to wait a couple days, all right? He was really quiet for a while, and then he says, “Pizmo broke ya, didn’t he.” And I’m like, holy crap, what the heck are you TALKING about? He reasoned that the only way I could be bleeding from that particular spot was if he had injured me during sex. He went on to suggest that I see a doctor and said that he hoped I wasn’t broken forever because of him.

Whoa. I mean, seriously, WHOA. He’d made so much progress in the last several months that I had sort of assumed his naivety was a thing of the past. And I mean, come on, menstruation is one of those facts of life, you know? This one totally came out of the Twisting Nether. So I try to explain to him that it’s something that happens every month, and given how freaked he is about the idea of starting a family, it should be seen as a good thing, cause it means that I’m not pregnant.

I think that last point totally flew over his head, cause he’s like, so your body just breaks down every month? That’s worse than goblin engineering. How long will it take to fix ya? And I’m like, STOP saying that I’m broken! For the love of Gnomeregan, you’re not broken if you have to go use the outhouse, right? This is the same deal, except it’s every few weeks instead of every few hours. And it only lasts a few days, so it’s not like it’s some dire situation or whatever. And it fixes itself, so I don’t really have to do anything.

By this point, he’d begun to realize that this was a bit of basic information that he should have known. He started sputtering about how of course he had known this, he was just testing me and so on, and I’m just like, Pizmo, come off it. I don’t give you this song and dance when you teach me something about engineering or whatever. Just file it away, and for Light’s sake, get me a hot towel and some chocolate.

Seriously? Lay off.

Ugh, man, I was totally in a craptastic mood today, despite having had such a great evening last night. I dunno what my deal was. Anyway, Pizmo went off to work on his logging contraption, and I’m like, you know that’s scaring the crap out of everyone, right? And he’s like, I’m totally just trying to help, and I’m like, well, I’m not sure it’s really all that helpful, and we ended up getting into a fight. I just started crying, which is so not even like me, and then he felt really bad, but by that point, I was like, fine, just go work on your stupid logger thingee.

So, I go over to Britta’s to see how she’s doing, and she’s still totally freaking out about the whole Vrykul attack from the other night. She’s like, holy crap, maybe we should move to Valgarde cause they have a bigger contingent of soldiers, and I’m like, uh, I think they get attacked way more than you do. So then she was like, maybe going back to Azeroth would be smart, and I’m like, well, your family’s all here, and we’ve got undead and demons and all kinds of freaky things down there. There are some places that are safer than others, but I mean, nowhere is REALLY safe, you know?

And then – I have no idea what got me started – but all of a sudden I just could not stop worrying about Pizmo. I mean, I’m still so jealous of Noodler and Britta. They had troubles and stuff, but pretty much they decided to get married and then they did it. I still have no idea if Pizmo’s ever gonna want to settle down with me. I mean, as long as he can remember he’s been footloose and family-free, and he hasn’t ever dated anyone before, and then here I am with a kid and all kinds of psychological baggage ready to tie him down. And, like, this trip was supposed to be a totally good thing for us, but I mean, what if my cleaning OCD is getting on his nerves, or he hates living with a kid, or he doesn’t like that he’ll be getting my brother’s family in the deal when I won’t have any in-laws to deal with. I have such high hopes for such a simple life, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m sabotaging myself all along the way.
We had sort of recovered by the time the menfolk had gotten home – I kind of wish we hadn’t, though, because then maybe Noodler wouldn’t have decided it was time for a little “talk”. We go outside and he's all, you're sleeping with Pizmo, huh. And I'm like... um, who cares? And he's all, well, you're a smart girl, I just hoped you would have learned form your mistakes. And I'm all, what the crap are you TALKING about? And he's like, well, you were all ready to dump Zandramas and then you got pregnant and had to marry him cause of the baby; I'd think you'd be a little less promiscuous this go-around.

Um, yeah. So he has, like, NO FREAKING IDEA about what REALLY happened. I was kind of peeved at that point, though, and I wasn't about to say, guess what, big brother, I was RAPED, k? So I just said something about how it was totally different, and of course he wanted to know why, and I couldn't really SAY anything at that point. UGH. Take a chill pill, I know what I'm doing, I'm totally in control here. If I do manage to get knocked up, then it's gonna be because I KNOWINGLY did something stupid.

He’s like, look, how do you expect to ever get married again if you’re going to give away the copper bolts without selling the forge? And I’m like, um, well, I’d hope that any man who marries me wants to do it because he loves me and not because he’s desperate to get in my pants. And he’s all, I hope you’re not just offering your body because you’re trying to keep him around, or letting him take advantage of you because you’re still vulnerable from Zandramas. Um, no, and this really isn’t any of your business ANYWAY. And he's like, sorry, I'm just worried about you, and I'm like, whatever, I didn't blow over 400 gold to come up here and be harangued.

So, Pizzy and I went back to our cabin and I crawled into his lap in front of the fire, and he held me while I cried. He told me he had heard me defending him out there, and he really appreciated it. Then Wynni crawled into my lap and we just had a big awkward pseudo-family cuddle. I don't care what my busybody brother thinks. I'm happy with Pizmo, and that's all that matters.

Welcome home, Pizzy

So, last night Pizzy got totally asked to go with my army to go to Serpentshrine Cavern. I guess they needed someone who was totally skilled at polymorphing to come along. It was kind of weird to have him going and me staying here, because usually it’s totally the other way around. But I was kind of glad that he left – he’d been working on this weird logging machine that looks kind of like a goblin shredder, except more like a harvest reaper from Westfall. It’s got these funky glowing lights on the shoulders and head, and while I know the townspeople of Westgarde were initially happy for the help, I think they’re afraid that this thing is totally gonna come kill them in their sleep.

Anyway, so I listened in on the officer channel (well, sort of – do you know how awful the reception is up here in Northrend? I swear, we’d do the world a favor if we built some repeater towers before we left) so I could kinda follow what was going on. Wynni and I were with Britta and Noodler, who really couldn’t follow what was going on, but that’s OK. I guess it was maybe a little rude to keep my buzzbox going that whole time while I was over for dinner and card games, but it’s like, Serpentshrine is MY territory, and it just killed me to know he was there and I wasn’t there to show him around, you know?

Well, Vashj stymied them, but Lurker, Leotheras, and Karathress all were defeated. I kept asking how Pizzy was doing but no one would tell me anything! I managed to gather that he didn’t quite have the damage output of everyone else, but he was good at turning nagas into sheeps and counterspelling when it was necessary, so that’s a bonus over some mages we’ve traveled with. I couldn’t find out anything about how he got along with people, though. I mean, I guess he was just quietly following orders and not really standing out or anything, but I guess I was kind of hoping to hear my friends tell me that holy crap, he’s like the coolest guy EVER. Oh well.
I made sure to get home before he did, get Wynni all tucked in, and get dinner made (big bear steak, yum). Britta and Noodler helped me summon him home before going to bed. He was tired and a bit worn – I guess Vashj’s lackeys roughed him up a bit – but he was TOTALLY thrilled because he came home with a bit of treasure: new gloves! We went upstairs and he ate his dinner while I rubbed his shoulders to get some knots out. He was SO totally excited to tell me about his experiences there – how he heroically shut down Karathress’ healer, how he blasted that crazy blind blood elf for all he was worth, how his arcane bag of tricks was perfect for helping keep Vashj’s fen striders under control. Having spoken with the officers already, I knew he was embellishing a bit, but it was still a joy to listen to.

As he finished eating and I began massaging down the rest of his aching muscles, he began gushing (haha, what a great pun!) about all the engineering in there. The bridge to Lady Vashj’s chambers is really pretty awesome, and I guess the whole place is a real engineering marvel – ginormous amounts of machinery sucking out the water of Zangarmarsh. Isn’t it funny how you totally ignore stuff like that when you go someplace all the time, and then when someone else experiences it for the first time, it’s like seeing it all over again?

We made love, and the last thing I saw before I drifted off to sleep for the final time was a contented smile on his face. I really hope that means that this evening was a pleasant experience for him. It was weird to be so domestic, but it was weirdly enjoyable too. I hope that he decides it’s an arrangement worth continuing.

Attack of the Vrykul!

Good grief, what a night. So, OK, after a pretty boring day, we put Wynni to bed, and Pizzy and I were enjoying ourselves upstairs a bit, celebrating his newly exalted status with the Shattered Sun Offensive. It was like, seriously, 11PM at night or whatever. And we start making love, and all of a sudden there's this banging on the door. I ignored it at first, but then I heard Noodler's voice hollering for me to open up. Gah. So Pizzy and I finished up, and I threw on a bathrobe while he got properly dressed. Noodler was a bit surprised at my dishevelment (though I don't know why he SHOULD be - hello, ELEVEN AT NIGHT, HOLY CRAP), but he was mostly panicked. He was like, Duerma, you guys have to get to the keep. The Vrykul are totally attacking. And I'm like, what? And then I heard the dragon scream. Crap crap crap.

So then I was like, look, Pizzy and I are trained professionals - we kick blood elf and dragon tushy on a regular basis. I'm not gonna hole up like a pansy when I could be totally helping. So I gave him Wynni to get to safety and I hustled upstairs to get my battle gear on. For once, I was glad that Pizzy seems to think that his pewpew clothes are appropriate for every occasion. And it's weird, but it felt really good to strap on those spiky shoulderpads of doom for once. I guess as much as I wish for a life of domesticity, this adventuring stuff is in my blood.
I popped up an Eye of Kilrogg to get a glimpse of whatever the heck was going on. There weren't a lot of them - seemed like just a skirmish or whatever - but these guys were seriously creepy. I mean, OK, so you know how humans are freakishly tall? Well, these guys were even BIGGER. Like, at least as big as Tauren, if not more so. And they kind of looked like humans, except kinda ugly, but they didn't move quite right. And then, of course, were the dragons. Geesh. They didn't look like real dragons - they were white, for one, and had yellowy wings. I don't think we're in Azeroth anymore.

We tiptoed outside and went around to the northeast, where the attacks were coming from. I'm not sure that even the Westgarde inbfantry noticed us. I cursed up the Vrykul while they weren't paying attention (with elements, maybe? Or is it shadow? Whatever the wild new flavor that is two curses in one! It's like a fruity juice blend!). We picked one and lit him up like a firecracker with a mad pyroblast/soulfire combo. A couple more hits and he was just a black mark on the ground. See how YOU guys like being burninated, huh? I sent my succubus in as a distraction (ooh, I wanted to smack her for that smirk she gave me and Pizzy before running out there, though), and as they chased her, I sacrificed her for some sick shadow power and let loose with a few shadowbolts.
It was pretty obvious we were there at that point, and we had to hide and let the infantry get their attention again before we could let loose with any other dirty tricks. It took awhile - at least half an hour of non-stop fighting - but we finally drove them off, and their little dragons, too. Several infantrymen were injured, but no one was killed. And we EVEN managed to take one of those Vrykul guys prisoner! Obviously they weren't expecting the gnome artillery. Hopefully that'll scare them off from attacking again for awhile.

Current events in the Howling Fjord

Pizzy had to get back to civilization for some work today, so I spent the day just hanging out with Britta. I figured at the very least, I could get a feel for recent events in the Howling Fjord so I knew what to start gathering info about. She was thrilled to death to have visitors - I guess she quit her job at the inn a couple weeks ago, and she's been pretty bored and lonely at home by herself. Wynni had fun playing with the stuff she'd prepared for the baby, and Britta and I were able to just chat for awhile.

Evidently, the Vrykul - those guys who harpooned our boat - have been a serious problem lately. I guess they've been here all along, but have only become a threat in the recent years. She said that overall, Westgarde was a lot safer than Valgarde, but their activity has picked up a bit here too. Britta told me that she was thrilled that I was able to come up - evidently the only midwife in the region was killed in an attack a few months ago, and she's been scared to death about the upcoming birth ever since then. I'm like, you know I fall asleep, right? And she said that her mother would be here with any luck, and if not, at the very least Noodler could have poking rights.
Anyway, more stuff! Her brothers haven't always had to go all the way up to the Grizzly Hills for their logging stuff - there used to be plenty of forest right there around Westgarde for their needs. The Vrykul came in, though, with dragons, and burnt the forest all around, presumably to make way for ground troops. The dragon bit was kinda whoa - I asked if she knew what color they were, but she replied that she hadn't even seen what happened. All the women and children are ushered into the bottom of the Keep at any sign of danger. I'm curious and suspicious now - could it be more black dragons like the orcs use in the Spire?

The one bit of positive news that she had was that the Explorer's League was sending people up here in droves. I guess after Uldaman had been pretty thoroughly searched, they didn't have much left to do in Azeroth, and Northrend was the next frontier of choice. (Course, there's still freaking ULDUM down there in Tanaris that hasn't even been sniffed at, but maybe people were sick of desert after hanging out in Silithus for so long.) The prize site is, obviously, Ulduar up in the Storm Peaks, but they are digging in everywhere they can. There's a big operation in the Grizzly Hills, but they're setting up excavations all over the Howling Fjord because who knows what they'll find? And while they have an independent operation over on the eastern cliffs, they're also setting up one nearby and using Westgarde as a base.

She started asking me about Pizzy after that, and it's sure a lot easier to be candid when he's not wringing his hands beside me and Noodler's not giving me the protective big brother evil eye. I opened up to her a bit about the whole debacle in February; she was a bit concerned, of course, but she told me about a huge fight that she and Noodler had had during their courtship. I guess there was some problem between him and one of her brothers, and her brother had made some racist remarks, and she hadn't understood what had happened exactly and so sided with her brother at first. Just like between Pizzy and me, things got all out of hand, and neither was really listening to what the other was saying, and they ended up breaking up for a couple months. It took them awhile to smooth things over, and it was a long time before Noodler was really accepted by her family, but it all turned out all right in the end.

I summoned Pizzy back after dinner. (No mail for me, what gives? If I were still a major leader and I had someone offering herself as a spy, I'd be like, hook me UP! Information's what makes the world go round, after all.) While he worked on cutting a gem for his new wand, I told him the story that Britta had told me. I figured it'd be good for him to realize that everyone has problems and stuff, and to let him know that my brother's hardly a bastion of perfection himself. Pizzy's such a fretful person. I wish I could calm him a bit. Anyway, he seemed to at least appreciate the story, and we did make love afterwards, so that's something, right? I really wish he'd let me into that goggled noggin of his

Lunch with Britta's Family

So glad it was our last night in the inn! There were these totally noisy sailors in the room next door last night, and I swear they were carousing until a couple hours past midnight. And this was TOTALLY not the day for my narcolepsy to be worse than usual, given our luncheon with the Frostbeards. Stupid sons of troggs. I had half a mind to unleash Wynni on them before breakfast and see how they liked it.

Anyway, so, lunch with the Frostbeards! Pizzy was of course supremely nervous, and I admit that I wasn't really up for a meal with a whole clan of dwarves just then. Everyone was focused on the food for the first hour or so, though - seems the oldest brother, Bronin, had bagged himself a shoveltusk stag, and evidently that's a Big Deal. I found the meat to be a little gamey, but the dwarves thought it was the best thing since the gyrochromotom or something. Noodler told me that since it was the first week of the month, the Frostbeard brothers who were logging up in the Grizzly Hills - the ones who were lending us their cabin - were here, which was pretty special.

And, of course, what's the first thing that comes out of someone's mouth once food and ale are no longer the focus? "Hey, you must be Duerma's husband!" Pizzy turned bright red and was like, um, not really. So I swept in and said, no, we're still working on that, and then I introduced us properly. I'm hoping neither the relative nor Pizzy was too mortified. Then a couple of the brothers started talking about mining (something about the quarry at Fort Wildevar), and Pizmo got caught up in that conversation. The women, though, wouldn't stop grilling me about him. Evidently a man is much more interesting when he hasn't married you yet.

We were asked to stay for games and such after the meal, but after being there for a couple days, I was REALLY eager to get settled in, you know? Britta and Noodler weren't up for leaving yet, but Britta's brothers Beldin, Bjarn, and Broldar were heading out too. It was a long trip back to the logging camp, and they could let us in as well as anyone since, you know, it's THEIR HOUSE. We nabbed a wagon and hooked it up to Pookie after I summoned him (figuring that he could go back to eating bombons in the Twisting Nether after he was through, rather than continuing on to the Grizzly Hills like their rams). The trip only took an hour this time, even with the wagon hauling. It's amazing what a difference not trudging through ice and snow will make.

The house was this cute little A-frame with a fireplace and chairs down below, and then beds in a loft up above. They cooked everything in the fireplace. Very cute and quaint. The brothers helped us lower one of the beds downstairs for Wynni (I had visions of her crawling through the railing to her doom in the middle of the night), and then they continued on their way. After being constantly surrounded by people pretty much ever since we got on the boat, it was kind of weird to finally be on our own. But it was nice.

We had a pretty low key evening, just reading books and playing games with Wynni until she finally petered out for the night. I wasn't far behind her. Pizzy was finally OK with getting cozy with Wynni sleeping downstairs, but I'm like, dude, I'm totally exhausted. He was a little put off by that - I really haven't rebuffed him very often - but he was fine snuggling together before bed. I'm so glad that he respects me enough not to push me - I really feel like I can trust him in that regard.

Midsummer's End

So, we woke up this morning on the ship, and Pizzy was a little less uncomfortable eating in the dining hall with all the other sailors. I kept Wynni dosed with the dreamless sleep potion; I figured when we got to Valgarde, she could wake up and eat totally ravenously. We totally had some time to kill after breakfast, like 4 hours worth or something. Pizzy had brought some business reports to study, but I was totally dumb and didn't think to bring anything to entertain myself on the ship, so I mostly just wrote in my diary here. I did manage to get a little cozy with him, even if he still wasn't up for lovemaking with Wynni there.

Finally, not long before midday, we heard the telltale screeches of the wind outside that meant we had entered the fjord. Wynni kept sleeping like a rock, of course, but Pizzy and I just kind of huddled together on the bed - not like we could concentrate on much else with that racket going on. After 15 minutes or so, there was a huge bang and the ship rocked hugely and I'm like, oh crap, we totally hit an iceberg, didn't we? We could hear all kinds of movement going on above us.

I poked my head out and asked what had happened, and apparently we'd been hit with a giant spear thingee. Fortunately, it just splintered the deck and rocked the ship, but not done any MAJOR damage. Pizzy went up top so he could blast away any more incoming missles. I wanted to help, but I couldn't leave Wynni there by herself, sleeping or not. I couldn't tell what was happening over the winds, but another 20 or so minutes later Pizzy came back to our cabin, grim faced, and reported he had destroyed another 3 spears that had been launched our way. Another couple had hit the sails. Now, though, we were in Daggercap Bay, far enough away from the cliffs that they couldn't target us anymore. It sounded like the ship was going to need some major repairs before it headed back south.

We finally got the all clear to disembark, and Noodler AND Britta were both waiting there on the docks for us. Poor Britta looked like a freaking ZEPPELIN. It's GOT to be any day now. I introduced them to Pizmo (and I made Pizmo hold the still-sleeping Wynni so he would have something to do with his hands besides wring them incessantly). Britta's face turned white when she heard about the Vrykul attack on the ship. I guess they've been a growing problem as of late, and Noodler said it's lucky we were on such a big ship cause they had successfully sunk a bunch of the smaller ones. Eeep.

It took them like an hour or something to get us our trunks - I guess maybe the door to the cargo hold was damaged?n Fortunately, our luggage was none the worse for the wear. Noodler told us we'd be staying in the inn a couple nights before heading up to Westgarde, and I'm all, what, you totally promised me a cabin, and he's like, yeah, but we have dinner once a week here in Valgarde with Britta's fam, and it wouldn't make sense to ride up there when we just have to come back, amirite? He DID get us some dockside tickets for the Midsummer's End firework show over the bay, so I guess that sort of makes up for it.

Wynni FINALLY woke up, so we had some lunch there at the inn, over which Noodler asked Pizzy a bunch of questions about the kind of work he does and stuff. It was, like, normal stuff and all, but Pizzy was totally sweating it. I held his hand to try to calm him some, but he was still pretty stammer-licious. Good thing his fiscal accomplishments totally outweigh his mode of delivery, huh? As soon as I could, I started yapping with Britta about pregnancy so he could catch a bit of a break. Noodler kicked me under the table, but hello, it's not like we're going ANYWHERE for the next THREE WEEKS so he can have PLENTY more opportunities to rake poor Pizzy over the coals.

We pretty much spent the afternoon chasing Wynni ALL over Valgarde (that's the downside to the dreamless sleep potions - she doesn't have the seasickness going on but when she wakes up, MAN, is she a ball of fire). Wynni's favorite game was running towards Pizmo, and then he'd blink to where she had just been, keeping her running back and forth and screaming with laughter. He really is very good with her, much better than I would have expected from a man who's so squeamish about the idea of parenthood. Anyway, Noodler and Britta took Wynni so we could nap - evidently the fireworks show wasn't starting til eleven! Not dark enough til then, Noodler said. And then he said that supposedly during the Midsummer festival, there were parts of Icecrown Glacier that the sun never set. I'll take his word for it.
That night, we sat down on the docks for the show (Noodler and Britta had seats further up on the hill so they could actually have chairs). And, man. So, Booty Bay and Stormwind have some pretty good fireworks shows, but this was crazy. Besides just normal fireworks and everything, there was this ribbon of light streaking across the sky that looked like the Twisting Nether (Noodler called it the Aurora Borealis). And, more creepy-like, there were these flaming Vrykul ships or something hanging over the cliffs of the fjord. Let me tell you, nothing fills a gnome's heart like a good fireworks show. As we sat there, Pizmo's arms around me, the sky exploding with colors, everything just felt so RIGHT.

This is going to be a good vacation.

Journey to Northrend! Again!

Wow! So! After running amok this morning trying to get some last minute errands done, I barely had time to meet Pizzy in Shattrath so we could go on to Menethil and catch our boat. Wynni was wiling like a banshee because we hadn't had breakfast beforehand, which of course meant that EVERYONE from Shattrath to Menethil was staring at me and thinking about what a horrible mother I am. I so hate that. The REASON I hadn't fed her is that she's going to be getting seasick ANYWAYS, and it's a lot less pleasant when there's something that actually comes up instead of dry heaves. I think Pizzy must have snuck her a cracker or something because there was definitely something there that first time. Ugh.
ANYWAY! Our ship was called the Zephyr, and it was pretty huge - evidently the biggest in the Kul Tiras fleet. Besides lugging cargo around, it's also the one that carries wealthy merchants everywhere they need to go, from the South Seas to Kul Tiras to Northrend to Theramore and back again. I guess that explains why the tickets were so expensive. Anyways, what that meant for us is that we had a nice, large cabin that really was pretty nice. Definitely better than the last one.

Anyway, we set our traveling packs down there and got comfy while they loaded our big trunks into the cargo area of the boat. I took Wynni to explore a bit before we launched, but when we launched, we were back in the cabin. Pizmo was rather mortified when Wynni started puking; he hadn't been expecting that, I guess. He was doing this hovering by the door, likehe really wanted to go but he figured he ought to stay, so finally I just told him to go ask the captain when we were expected to land in Kul Tiras and to find out where a good restaurant was and to find out about any appropriate business investments we should look into while there. He was glad to go, and I was glad for him to STOP HOVERING, GOSH.

We got to Kul Tiras about half past noon, and we were told to be back at the ship by 2PM. That was plenty of time to go and eat. Wynni didn't want to come with us, and she really didn't want to eat, but I made her get some chicken noodle soup and some sparkling water anyways. We found this nice place called The Tortoise's Manor. Pizzy had a smoked summer bass with potatoes and I had breaded Rockscale cod with some Alterac swiss melted on top. Mmmmm. It was SO good.

After lunch, Pizzy went to investigate some business opportunities while I took Wynni back to the ship. She was in better spirits after having eaten something. We had a fun time chasing each other through the mostly empty corridors til everyone started filing back on the ship. There were WAY more people than who got off - I guess we picked up a ton of passengers. Anyway, Pizzy made it back in the nick of time. I dosed Wynni with a bit of Dreamless Sleep Potion (which is more unethical, dosing her or letting her endure 24 more hours of puking?), and then Pizzy and I curled up to take a nap too.The man's like a breathing security blanket. I love it.

Midsummer celebrations and vacations!

Well, today the midsummer's celebration was in full swing! Wynni wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and so we decided to meet Pizzy in Stormwind - he had a bit of business to take care of in the Auction House beforehand. After running into Imble and chatting for a sec, we we found him there in the Auction House. Wynni spotted him first and gave him a huge hug. I'm so pleased with how well she likes him. I'm still a little paranoid about her becoming too attached before it's really permanent, but on the other hand, since things seem to be going well, then maybe the transition will be a little easier.

ANYWAY! So after we met Pizzy (and he offered to take Wynni cliff jumping - HOLY. CRAP.) we headed on over to the canals where all the festival stuff was set up. Wynni was TOTALLY amazed by the guys juggling torches and tossing them at the braziers. Then we found the ribbon pole, and I held Wynni on my hip while I spun and danced. She LOVED it. Pizzy tried it, but oh man, that was bad news for him. He looked SO sick. I helped him into the nearby bookshop so he could sit and recover just a bit while Wynni looked at picture books. Poor guy. I hope he doesn't get seasick as easily.

So, he caught his breath and let the world stop spinning a bit, and then Wynni asked us what a kobold was. Evidently, she had found a book on the shelves called "The Little Kobold That Could." (That could do what, I don't know. Maybe he managed to keep his candle or something.) Anyway, I told her it was a rat guy who liked candles, but Pizzy went into more detail, even so far as to imitate one. Wynni just ate it up.

Then he mentioned that sometimes there were spiders in the caves with kobolds, and Wynni FREAKED. So he taught her how to smash spiders, using his hands to imitate one. She thought that was a pretty good game. So that led to a conversation about spiders and bizarre cuisine, and before we knew it, it was time to go to school! Usually Wynni is super excited for school, but today she just wanted to stay with Mr. Pizmo. Aww. We walked her to school, and she asked like a million questions on the way. She even gave Pizzy a kiss goodbye - how sweet is that?

Pizzy and I continued on to Telaar; he wanted to chat about our upcoming trip to Northrend, since he's still paranoid about meeting my family and all. I guess maybe I didn't mention that the whole point of my trip was to be there when Noodler's wife gave birth, because he was all freaking about that. It's not like he has to BE there for that part, gosh. He wanted to know what kind of things he should do up there, what to talk about, what not to talk about, what to wear, etc. The questions seemed perfectly obvious to me, but I forget that social situations can be difficult for him sometimes.

Then he wanted to know what we'd say if they asked about, well, us. I told him I'd say "we've discussed the possibility of marriage but there are no plans in the works at this time." He seemed to like that answer. He fretted for a moment when I mentioned Noodler had met Zandramas, but then I reminded him about how Zan had, you know, LEFT. Then I told the story about how Zandramas accused Noodler of being my secret boyfriend because he didn't think he was my brother since we didn't look alike. Boy, was Pizmo's smile wide!

We made love, and afterwards he asked me to promise that I liked him as much as he loved me. Well, of COURSE that's the case! He told me he just gets worried that I'll get tired of him, and that all good things are supposed to end eventually. I wanted to tell him it doesn't have to be that way, but he had to leave before we could really get into the subject. In time, I guess. Maybe someday he'll stop being so insecure.

A magely odyssey

So, I've been TOTALLY working so hard on learning magecraft and engineering, but I've been really shy to show Pizzy because he's been SO good at both for SO long. But, I needed to learn how to make the Toshley's station transporter, and I SO cannot even kill the netherwraiths with my mage skills right now. So I thought, Pizzy should totally help me out!

So, we met up in Shattrath, and we flew to Telredor and started riding through the marsh. It was so TOTALLY my luck that it was POURING rain. Like, oh man. So soggy. The mushrooms couldn't even stop it. And naturally, today was the day I picked to wear a white blouse. I mean, not like it's anything he hasn't seen before, but STILL! Anyway, Pizzy was kind enough to point out a couple gas clouds so I could experiment with my new mote extractor - and I TOTALLY managed to suck some water out of the air! How cool is that?

Next, we totally had to go through this disgusting, spider infested cave. It was so gross, and all my spells kept totally bouncing off them. But Pizzy totally blew them all away. Very chivalrous! He helped me through the ravine up to Toshley's station, where we met a gnome named Smiles O'Byron. He taught me how to make the transporter... and Pizzy said he'd give me the materials! How sweet is that? He's so good to me, oh my gosh.

So, we continued onto Netherstorm, and I totally summoned that wraith, and he was SO not ready for it. It totally kicked BOTH our butts. We got him on the second time, though. After that, we were basically done with our errands, so we figured we could just chillax. (Note to self: wear wide brim hats more.) We flew out to that boat that's off of what used to be the coast of Kirin Var and just spent some time watching the sky. He was acting SO twitchy, though. I don't know what's with him lately.

We went inside, and he told me about how proud he was of my tinkering accomplishments. And I mean, I'm glad he's proud and stuff, but while tinkering's kinda fun, it's just not IT for me, you know? I really prefer to do something where I'm with people, you know? And it's been so weird ever since I stepped down from the Tower. It's given me more free time to care for Wynni, and to learn magery and tinkering... but it's just not the same, you know? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love extra time with my daughter, but it just feels like something's missing.

And Pizmo blanched at all that, and I mean, it's not like I'm all OHAY MARRY ME NOW. Just... I don't know. I need a conduit for this energy. I'm not necessarily obsessing about him, but he's freaking out as if I were. Why was he being so TWITCHY today? I asked him what his deal was, and he was like, nothing, it's just a little weird. WHAT'S a little weird? I mean, for the love of Gnomeregan, he's the one who's been encouraging me to be brutally honest this last month. So I'm like, kay, FINE. I can just shut up and bed you right now if that's what you want.

THAT obviously wasn't the right answer either. he just sighed and was like, look, can we just cuddle together like folks do and enjoy being together? And I was thinking, no, I want to know what your problem is, but at that point, I didn't want to press it anymore. So we cuddled up and spent the night there. And it was nice. I felt so comfortable with him there, especially knowing that I was lying there because I wanted to be and not because my brain just shorted out again.

I don't know what's going on with him. I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach after how he was acting tonight, but at least it ended well. This dating stuff is too complicated.

A weird day on Mount Hyjal

So, after last week's time traveling adventure was so successful, we thought we'd head to the Caverns for something a bit more... relaxing. We were both in the mood to enjoy each other's company, and we decided to go back to Mount Hyjal and find a nice cozy spot by the Well of Eternity. We set off down there on the back of a dragon. Pizzy was pretty annoyed that they wouldn't let him buy their gemmy designs, but he perked up when he saw THE Jaina Proudmoore in her 10 foot tall glory.
We found a nice looking pond in between the Horde and Alliance camps, and even though it was a couple waterfalls away from the ACTUAL Well of Eternity it was still totally sizzling with the arcane. Pizzy's skin is still hypersensitive, though, even in the past, so we found a good tree to sit under, and I put up an umbrella just in case. And then he ACTUALLY changed out of his battle gear - that seriously NEVER happens. I wish he would do it more often - he really shouldn't hide his body behind all those robes and everything. Mmm...

Anyway! So, I'm heading up to Northrend in a couple weeks to help with the birth of my first niece or nephew! I dunno if they'll let me actually midwife, but even if not, I can totally cook and clean and otherwise do whatever I can to ease their transition into parenthood. And I was totally thinking, dude, Pizmo should SO come along! I mean, then he'd get to meet the only family that I really have left, and we'd have a couple weeks to experiment with the whole "living together" thing, which ought to be enough to satisfy his worry.

So, I asked Pizzy, and he's like, wouldn't that be kinda weird for you to show up with some guy they've never met before? And I'm like, well, I've totally told them all about you in letters and stuff, and when I was up there for Winter Veil, I could not stop talking about you. He was SO surprised by that. I mean, I dunno WHY - I've been giddy as an apprentice for the last 6 months; this journal is hard evidence that he's the only thing I ever think about anymore.

Anyway, so then he started coming up with all these reasons to freak out, like "what if they find out about my criminal past" or "maybe they have some other guy picked out for you." OK, so, I guess the first could be a little worrisome, but come on, they live in freaking NORTHREND. I mean, Britta's family hasn't lived in Ironforge for a couple generations. It's not like they're going to inherently KNOW what happened, you know? And as for the second, COME ON. I'm capable of leading armies against the greatest threats the twin worlds have ever known but I'm not competent to pick out my own spouse?

And THEN he's like, holy crap, you didn't tell them we're "doin' it" did you? And I'm like, for the LOVE, who discusses their sex life with their BROTHER? And he's like, they're gonna think I'm totally taking advantage of you, and they'll talk about it in whispers in the kitchen, et cetera, and I'm like, whatEVER. Yeah, they'll probably draw conclusions if I bring you along, but who cares? If my brother is going to marry a DWARF then he CERTAINLY can't say anything if I choose to sleep with a handsome, intelligent, successful, GNOMISH man, now, can he?

Then Pizmo's like... dwarf? Um. I guess maybe I didn't mention that. So then he starts fretting about THAT. At first he was making sense, sort of, but then he's like, there's gonna be STONE in our bedroom and the stone's gonna tell the dwarves about all the sleep we didn't get. ARG. So I'm like, look, no one's gonna come chat with the stone right there, and it's not like it's going to get up and walk away, so seriously, CHILL.

Finally, I told him, look, you're obviously worried about what my brother and his in-laws are going to think about us being intimate, so if anything happens, I'll just tell them I seduced you, so then it's totally MY fault, K? And he's like, serious? And then the whole mood changed, just like that. Isn't it amazing how quick that happens? Just a word, a touch, and we've gone from freak out to make out.

But then, just as quickly, it changed again. As we were getting amorous, he pinned my hands above my head as he kissed me. Now, I've really been OK with a lot of things - it still amazes me how easily we were able to begin making love - but I could feel that panic setting in when he did this. And at first he wouldn't even let me up, which of course caused me to panic even MORE. Then I finally twisted free, and he was just MORTIFIED as he realized what he had done.

I forgave him pretty quickly - I mean, I love him, I trust him, and I know he would never, EVER force himself upon me like that. And, I mean it's not like it's something totally bizarre and out there - every couple dabbles a little bit in play-domination - I mean, why do you think succubi are so successful? It's just... something that I can't help but react to, you know? And I wish I could have said something to him, rather than just wriggling like a greased pig.

Ironically, I was trying to soothe him more than the other way around. He was just absolutely beside himself; I forgot how sensitive he can be. I promised him that one mistake, especially one he was so repentant about, does not make him a horrible person. None of us our perfect; no one has all the answers. We just have to keep trying our best.

He was worried that I'd think on it a lot after we parted, and I'm not going to lie - I mean, I really do need to decompress anytime I have a panic episode like this, no matter what the cause, you know? I don't want to be jumping like a coiled spring next time he reaches for my hand. But that doesn't mean that Pizmo is anything less than a good man. The events of today don't change that - in fact, they strengthen my conviction that this is so. I don't know what my brother will say, but you can totally be sure that I'll be defending this point with every bit of furor I can muster.

Investigating the Past

So, after a little discussion today, Pizzy and I totally decided it'd be fun to go back to Southshore and take a look at the Ashbringer thing! So we teleported over there, hopped a dragon, and BAMF! There we were 7 years ago. Cool, huh? We went to the inn where I had seen these guys chatting before and we hid behind a couple kegs. It's really good that we're gnomes and not something like a Tauren or whatever.

Anyway, we totally got there just in time. Right as we found our hiding spots, Highlord Mograine and the gang totally started chatting. he busted out this evil looking crystal, and they zapped some holy energy into it, and it turned from an evil crystal into a good one! And then it totally healed Mograine's hand, even! How sweet is that?

As soon as the conversation was over, we hightailed it outside to the docks so we could sit and make sense of it all. We tried to think of if there were any more gems hidden in Blackrock Mountain that could be similar to the one that he found. There were the gems for the seal of ascension, of course, but Vael didn't do anything wacky to them to make them useful, so obviously they're not an otherworldly source of evil. There's Father Flame, but it's kind of large and burny and not so much small and voidy. And it's totally been for-EVER since I explored Blackwing Lair, so I can't really remember if there was anything gemmy in there.

Then Pizmo thought there might be something in the Depths of Blackrock, and we both remembered that there was this thing called the Heart of the Mountain! There's this goblin guy who wanted it, but he didn't say why he wanted it, only that the dwarves didn't want to sell it to him. And it occurred to me that I totally knew how to make something called the Smoking Heart of the Mountain, which I would suppose to be similar. We debated about which of the two would be better.

But you know what, I didn't even KNOW if we should be looking for a gem. I mean, it was one thing when we were thinking of a void thinger just like they used to make the Ashbringer, but just any old gem? I don't even know if it would work. So Pizzy started talking about a modified potion injector, which seemed like a good idea. He's so clever. We got a little bit distracted discussing ideas for a contingency plan if we were unable to save the arm, but I think we have a good plan. I'm gonna go get the gem and he's gonna build the injector. Together, we'll come up with the best plans ever known to gnomekind!

Then things got a little more serious. He told me he'd received my letter (the writing of which was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever hard to do). He let me know that no matter what horrid things had happened to me in my past, he'd still love me. And if Tiggs ever came back, he would make sure he suffered for what he did. It was amazing to see him so angry and determined... for me. He was so passionate when he described how he'd be my protector and avenger if ever given the chance. And I just felt like my heart was totally going to explode out of my chest. He's AMAZING. I'm such an incredibly, totally lucky woman.

Different brands of seriosity

So, after we went and dumped a bunch of demonic gems in a fel-infused volcano, Pizzy and I went back to Allerian Stronghold to relax a little bit. And talk. We've only been dating for 7 months or so, but I've been so panicked this week about the possibility of being pregnant, I figured we better talk about the future together - see if we even HAVE a future together.

I mean, I'm a lot more knowledgeable and careful than most women, and I'm fortunate that my cycle's been like clockwork, but this month has shown that nothing is foolproof, as much as I'd like to think it is. I don't think Pizzy's the type to run out on me with a baby... but I didn't think Zandramas was either. As much as I'd like to think that I'm totally a liberated woman and stuff, the reality is that I can't really work while I'm pregnant or having a nursling. Not my ordinary line of work, anyways. And if there were complications....

Anyway, yeah, so this is why most people get married before sleeping together, or at least around the time they start sleeping together. No one's gonna help track down the father of a bastard child, but a married, divorced, or widowed man can be held responsible for his offspring. And if he dies, then we're taken care of. I'm SO. VERY. GLAD. that Zandramas and I had been married when he died, because the inheritance is helping to pay for child care right now so I can go out and earn a living.

ANYWAYS! So. I was REALLY nervous about bringing up marriage and everything, because Pizmo has been totally freaked out about any kind of marriage talk - even at the mention of the word his eyes bug out like he's been zapped with jumper cables or something. But I managed to bring it up, and of course he was all kinds of worried. He's like, what if I won't be a good husband and it fails and then you'd be so sad? And I'm like, dude, you're an amazing boyfriend, and being a husband is like being a boyfriend except we live together, you know? And then he's like, what if living together is a total disaster?

Then he suggested we find a soothsayer or something to predict whether we'd be a successful married couple. Come ON, who does that, seriously? Not a gnome, that's for sure. So I'm like, look, we jus twork things out as they come up. I think we'll be FINE without a soothsayer or whatever. And then he brought up Wynni, which makes sense, I guess. He wanted to know how we'd deal with decisions about raising her or whatnot, and whether he'd be considered her father.

Then he asked about her natural father. He's DEAD. He's like, ar eyou sure, and I'm like, yes, I buried Zandramas myself, GOSH. But then he reminded me about Zanny not REALLY being her biological father. And something inside me just kind of snapped. The idea of HIM - Wynni's REAL father - even being remotely involved... My mind told me that is was silly and wouldn't ever happen, but my heart was off and running at a million miles an hour. I felt TERRIFIED, and like my chest was closing in on me.

Pizzy was so gentle - he just held me and rocked me back and forth, talked to me gently to try to understand what was going on and to try to calm me down. I was hardly even aware he was there - I just felt like I couldn't breathe, and I was trying desperately to convince myself that there was no way in the nether that Tiggs could ever, ever find me.

And then the narcolepsy took me. You won't find me being grateful for my disability very often, but I don't think Pizmo or I have ever been more thankful for it than today. I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up the panic was gone. My chest and head were still aching, but that's probably because of the quick breathing. And I felt absolutely MORTIFIED that he had seen me like that. I mean, I've been nothing but strong and brave when I've been with him - I've never let ANYONE see me have a panic attack like that (at least not in the last 2 years). I figured he'd think I was totally crazy or something.

But he didn't. He just hugged me and told me that it was OK to be afraid, and that whatever else I might be, I'm still a woman, and I'm allowed to have emotions and such. He promised to listen to whatever I wanted to tell him, and he'd hold me right there to help me feel safe. He wanted me to tell him what happened, but I just COULDN'T. I can't talk about it - every time I even try, it's like I'm living it all over again. He thought maybe he just wasn't very good at being comforting, but it's a real block - I've never told anyone what happened.

He told me a story about how he had found an item that was of vital importance to the Horde. He had spent a lot of time fighting the Horde on the battlegrounds of Alterac and Arathi, and had hoped his renown on the field of battle would encourage leaders to listen to him when he came bearing a message of importance. They totally didn't, though - they just laughed at him and beat him up. He had such stories about how he snuck into Orgrimmar and yelled at all the orcs and they couldn't catch him because he was so small and quick!

The stories didn't REALLY relate directly to what I was freaking out about, but they were important to him because he had never shared them with anyone before. And, well, it really did calm me down a bit, talking about something else. I told him that I would write him a letter sharing my ordeal, and that seemed good enough for him. He told me he wanted me to feel comfortable telling him anything at all, that I shouldn't be afraid to talk about the scary stuff.

So then, I had the stupid idea to mention that maybe there was a 1 in 3 chance that I could be pregnant. Which, you know, is a 2 in 3 chance that I'm NOT! And I tried to stop myself before it came out but it did anyways and he freaked out and I knew I shouldn't have said anything until I KNEW for SURE what's going on. When he saw me panicking he tried to tell me that everything was fine, but I know it's not. And then he had to go, so I can't even get this resolved. URGH. Go me. I think I might have just ruined everything this month.

Demonic gems are serious business

OK, so, I couldn't get the nanny to come early this morning, so I had Wynni for just a little bit until she showed up. Pizzy had something really important he wanted to show me, so he was a little disconcerted by her presence. But he is SO GOOD with her. He showed her how to feed copper bolts to her little mechanical squirrel I built her, and she just thought that was the coolest thing EVER. I know what I'll be making in the workshop the next several weeks.

Anyway, Naliina showed up and I handed Wynni off to her, and after greeting me properly he led me into one of the Aldor laboratories. There was this totally bizarre THING sitting on the table. It looked like an upside down lamp or something. The bulb of it was filled with all these weird swirling fel energies, and it was being supported by this gauntlet that had gems sticking out of it, and it looked like the energies were being siphoned into the gems.

Pizzy explained to me that Branwynne (a friend of his and a gal I met a waaaaaaaaaay long time ago) came into his workshop. She had this crazy mechanical glove on her that was helping to contain some kind of demonic infection - the device was pumping out the fel energies into the gems, but it wasn't really well made, so eventually it caused the device to fail. So, Pizzy made her a new one, better than the last one, and was charged with the dangerous responsibility of disposing of the gook that had accumulated. He built this globey contraption around it to contain it for the time being, but now THAT was failing, so we had to figure out some way to totally get rid of it.

Then he told me that he had been asked to build a device that not only sucked out fel energies, but injected holy energies, so the infection could be cured for good. I told him it kind of sounded like the Ashbringer - it started off as an icky void stone, but all the holy guys shot energy into it and it became this amazing thing of light that even healed Mograine's hand. He totally had missed that on his visits to Old Hillsbrad, so we resolved to investigate that sometime. Now, though, we had to get rid of the gems before they started leaking! I suggested we just pitch them in the lava in Shadowmoon Valley, because really, what's a little more fel energy in that place anyways? So, feeling very much like the bracelet gnome the humans joked about, we headed to the Hand of Gul'Dan so we could be sure it melted well.
Originally, we started off on foot and let my voidwalker carry them - Pizzy figured a demon carrying demonic things would probably be the safest way to go. Well, that worked as we walked through Terokkar Forest, but when we reached the border of Shadowmoon Valley, we were totally ambushed by infernals! Pizzy and I were OK, but my voidwalker was totally toast. So much for good demonic help these days! I thought about bringing him back, but we figured we were close enough that we could just fly. So, we rigged up a way for my soul bag to hang from one of the skis of Pizmo's flying machine, and we took off for the volcano.

We got up there, and Pizzy tried to just fling the whole bag in. ACK! He was unsuccessful, thankfully, so I was able to pull out my soulshards and dumped the gems into the lava - saving the bag. (That thing was expensive.) Those gems totally melted into the ooze like chocolate on a fire!

So, I guess now we go back to figuring out what to do about the original problem, that of neutralizing Branny's infection. I hope we can garner some good ideas from our trip back in time.

Oh SNAP.

Um, yeah. So. According to my temperature charting, I pretty much ovulated the day, like, RIGHT after the Faire. That would explain my... vigor... the other day. It also means that there's a pretty good chance I could be pregnant. Like, right now. OK, it's 1 in 3, but those are still pretty severe odds. Maybe I'm wrong and screwed up my temperatures. Maybe Pizmo's really as sterile as he seems to think he is. Maybe I just plain got lucky. I don't know. But holy CRAP. I should know better.

I was with Pizzy on the elf island, helping out the Shattered Sun and all, and I apologized to him for my behavior. I mean, forcing him to break a pact we had made? He was horribly confused by it all, and who can blame him? Though he DID admit it was rather exciting to see me so amorous. And he said when we make love, it's like... caught up in the moment, and there's no Pizmo and Duerma separately, just together as one. Isn't that beautiful? His little bursts of poeticness are touching and unexpected. He never ceases to surprise and delight me.

Darkmoon Faire

OK, so, today Pizzy and I totally decided to go to the Darkmoon Faire, cause it was just outside Shattrath this month! We started off by blasting ourselves out of the cannon, went on to examine the bizarre animals they had on display, and had a fantastic tonk battle that I think I lost. We had really hoped that maybe the band would play but I guess that was totally last season or something. Oh well. Oooh, and we got a bunch of the junk food like funnel cake and candy bars and slushies. Mmmmm.

Pizzy was acting really weird the whole time, though. He was taking great pains not to touch me, and he kept looking away from me, and I'm like, oh my gosh, have I totally done something wrong? And he was like, no, just interested in the faire! and kept examining the stuff you could buy with tickets and stuff. I mean, it was fun looking at the attractions and stuff to buy and absurdities or whatever, but that doesn't mean he should treat me like I'm a leper or whatever, right?
So, we sat down to eat our treats - I totally got a brain freeze from the slushie - and we talked about our weekends and such. I told him about how my army's totally gonna kill a phoenix this week and how bummed I was that some other warlock got his awesome hat before I did. In the meantime, he was building little creatures out of his funnel cake. We talked about gems and how he's trying to get in good with the Shattered Sun guys so he can learn all the best new recipes, and maybe I looked at him funny but all of a sudden he was more interested in the cake creatures. What-EVER. So we totally played with those a bit, building infernals and arakkoa and heroes, all of whom met their DOOM in a very tasty manner.

Then we talked more about my army and its goals, and then... I sort of seduced him. I know, after last week, it's totally wacky, right? I seriously don't know what came over me. But it seemed fair that I should be able to break a pact that was made on my behalf... right? Or am I a totally horrible person? I have no idea. I guess we'll see how this all plays out.

Cold Feet

So, today Pizzy and I decided to visit the Ironforge Airport! It's way up on the mountaintop, and they really don't allow civilians to go up there - something about being a military base or whatever. But Pizzy's all, I wanna see the airplanes! So, we totally found this little path that wends its way up the mountain in the northern part of Loch Modan, and we climbed and jumped and rode and ran until finally we were THERE!
Man, I forgot that spring comes to the mountains way later. Even though it was the end of April, it was FREEZING! The wind just totally cut right through you. I pulled my overcoat and hood on, but I was still chattering like a mechanical squirrel in an earthquake. Pizzy did his best to keep his arm around me to keep warm, but he was so excited about the airplanes! He told me about how technology has changed over the last several years and how today's designs were way better than this Second War stuff. It was like we were in a museum or something!

By that time, I think my face was turning blue, so we looked for a place to warm up. Those dumb dwarves totally had all their houses locked up though. I guess maybe the trolls like to invade them, or maybe they just need strong doors against the cold? I dunno. But finally we managed to get into the garrison building. It wasn't entirely enclosed, but at least there was a roof and some walls.

Pizmo got right to warming up my hands, rubbing them and breathing on them. He's so sweet. Then we shared some chocolate squares that I found during Noblegarden. Things got kind of romantic, as they usually tend to do. He wanted to make love to me right there, and all of a sudden - I dunno what came over me, but I'm like, great gyrochromotoms, what if he only thinks he loves me because of the physical intimacy? What if all there is to our relationship is sex? How the heck is THAT going to last?

He was so concerned, and probably with good reason. I've been nothing but confident and bold this entire time; I don't think he's ever seen weakness on my part. He assured me that there were emotional and cognitive components to his love, and then he had an idea. He suggested we abstain from sex for a couple weeks to let the other facets of our relationship grow, and then I could be assured that it wasn't just about the physical relationship.

We cuddled and talked for awhile, and then portaled back to Shattrath. Parting is always so difficult! I miss him so much in between our afternoons together. It feels kind of weird that we broke our usual pattern of talking followed by lovemaking, but I'm so amazed at Pizmo's willingness to do anything to make me feel comfortable. He really is a remarkable man.

Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

Guys, OK, Pizzy is like the sweetest man in the entire UNIVERSE. I'm so totally glad that we aren't fighting anymore. For SERIOUS. So, he totally buzzed me today and was like, did you still wanna get together and do stuff? And I'm like, well, for sure! And so he's like, what should we do? And I'm like, I dunno, so long as it's quiet for talking. And, well, you know, other stuff. So we took off for Zangarmarsh, which, of course, is totally where we met up last time when he said that I screwed up and needed to fix crap.

But this time it was totally different. I mean, it totally started off in awkwardville because, gosh, after everything that's happened, it's practically like starting over. And so, I told him about how my army TOTALLY beat up Vashj the other day, and we talked about how I'm totally not in the White Tower anymore, and how I like to help people out and stuff. And THEN, he totally gave me a Living Ruby! Just, like, as a random present - he found it in a chunk of adamantite and he thought I'd like it. Like it? Oh my GOSH! Those things totally go for 60+ gold before they are even cut, and it makes the totally amazingest gem EVER. He's so super sweet. And I like having his gems in my stuff cause then I think of him whenever I wear it. He smiled really big at that.
Then, he was like, I know I screwed up, and we should totally put past things in the past, but I'll just be quiet and let you talk, and I seriously though that he was going to cry right then. I mean seriously, we had tears there. And I felt TOTALLY awful, because it's like, I didn't want a quiet place so I could totally berate him or something - I wanted to chat because HELLO, how many weeks has it been and how much stuff has been going on? And he looked SO relieved. My poor, sweet, sensitive man.

So, I totally started telling him about my adventures in engineering, which I didn't think I'd be super good at, but I managed to cobble together a shrink ray and a mechanical squirrel, so maybe I'm not a totally hopeless case. Pizmo was totally proud of me, not just cause I was, like, getting into one of his interests, but also just that I'm trying new stuff and everything. He mentioned that he'd tried a bunch of different stuff til he settled on what suited him best, and maybe this was a step in a similar exploration for me. And he totally tries to do his bestest ever at everything that he does, which is SO totally awesome, and attractive.

He told me that he's happy for all the different things that are happening in my life right now, that it shows I'm looking forward to the future and not being rooted in the past. And then he told me that I should believe in myself, that I'm not just another woman or another gnome. He told me how special I was, and gifted. And... I mean, coming from someone else, it'd just be like, "oh, come ON." But it's Pizzy - he's like THE most sincere person in all of existence. And so it was just... amazing. And then he kissed me.

When he kissed me, it's like, I dunno, like a fire was lit or something, and all the weeks and weeks of missing and wanting and dreaming were lit up, and I couldn't have enough. It was so amazing to feel his touch and his kisses again. He made love to me, and I think it was a release for both of us - all that tension, all that nervousness, everything. I swear, when we finished, it wa slike nothing had ever happened. We fantasized about running away together, holing up somewhere for days with nothing but each other. It was just... I don't know. Wonderful. And the happiest I've felt in months.

Reconciliation

Man, what a day. So, I was chillaxing at Kaetta's house, getting ready for the huge meeting of uberness this evening, when Pizmo buzzes me on my comms and is all, can we talk? And I'm like, dude, hasn't he done enough? And so I tell him, look, I guess so, if you have read my letters, and if you'll, like, listen to what I say instead of getting bent on your own agenda, and we can have Grendrak come help mediate. And he's like, OK. And so he comes to Kaetta's house, because I really don't want to be leaving to go anywhere - I've been sick all weekend, hello!

Anyway, so Grenny sits down with us, and Pizmo was just a total ass to him. And then he started yelling back and forth with Kaetta, who was still in her house taking care of Wynni, and I'm just like, good grief, this is what I'm fighting for? But we FINALLY got him to shut up so we could actually address the subject at hand. I start trying to explain to him how his equations were wrong, but I'm not sure that really stuck. And so then I tried to explain how everything was worse because of his flawed conclusion, and I swear we were talking in circles.
So then Grenny pipes up and is recapping everything he's heard so far to make sure he's got everything straight. And of course Pizmo insults him again, but Grenny's awesome and is just like, whatever. Anyway, he pretty much has the gist of things from my end, and then Pizmo starts trying to explain his point of view uusing all kinds of weird abstract math, and my brain just kind of glazes over. But Grenny was TOTALLY following it! He's so rad!

So then Grenny starts talking about even MORE complicated equations and drawings, and I hear the bells tolling and I'm like, HOLY CRAP, the MEETING! And so I'm like, guys, we're making good progress and stuff, but I really have to attend this meeting, and you guys have to come with me. So we all hopped the gryphon for Stormwind. In retrospect, I guess I coulda made Pizzy give us a port, but I dunno how well the request would have gone over at the moment.

So anyway, we get to the Blue Recluse, and I'm saying hi to folks, and a couple people come to greet Pizzy and Grenny. I led them up to a table, and I notice that Pizmo is seriously freaking out with all the people there. Now, I was mad at him for being a jerk, but that didn't mean I wanted to give him a panic attack or anything. So I busted out this mechanical squirrel that I made the other day while I was trying to wrap my head around this engineering stuff before heading down to run the meeting.

We had REALLY good attendance at the meeting, which was so awesome. Tziva reported on the changes to the Greenwards requirements, and then it was time for the BIG CEREMONY. Stormy comes up, and I realize I totally forgot my notes, which was kinda freaky-deaky, so I kinda made it up as I went along. I hope it was binding enough or whatever. ANYWAY, so I swore Stormypants in as the new Emissary! I was officially no longer supreme commander of the universe! So crazy, can you believe it?

So, Hanman comes in and takes care of some business, and then the meeting is all wrapped up, so I go up to where Pizzy and Grenny have been sitting, and I guess they've totally been talking this whole time, which is good. And he's like, Mr. Grendrak totally filled me in that equations can be totally right and yet totally wrong if you don't understand the complexity at the beginning. And then he totally agreed with me that we needed a lot more positives to balance out the negatives. He told me how much he loved me and how stressful this last month has been, and how sorry he was that he had hurt me on Friday.

So, I'm trying to figure out what to think. I mean, last week I wanted to marry him and make him babies, and then this weekend I wanted to dump him and never see him again, and a couple kind words and apologies aren't just going to push everything away. He got hung up on the dumping part, though, and so while I was trying to explain to him that we were going to need to put in a lot of work to make things better again, he was tearfully begging me not to leave.

One thing that I've always loved about Pizzy is how sincere he is. Even if he's making up stupid things to try to impress me, or stumbling over his words or whatever, he's always been the most sincere person I've ever met. And I could tell he was sorry, and that he really did love me and couldn't bear for me to leave him after all this. And so... I didn't end the relationship right there. Maybe I'm a softie, but I think we can work this out. It's going to take a long time and a lot of effort, but we can do it.

I spent the remainder of the evening in his arms. It was kind of weird to be so close after all the disasters, but it felt so good. It felt so wonderful to be reconciled with him. I dunno how this is going to turn out, but we have hope again. And that's what counts.

A mithril frag bomb would have been kinder.

So. Um. I really don't feel up to writing anything but Kaetta says that if I get it out then I can start healing, or something. Whatever. So, Pizmo totally came back today after however many weeks, and I wish he had stayed gone so I could fantasize about tending his wounds or a joyous reunion or how touched and impressed he'd be at everything I've done since he's been gone. But no.

So, um, Kaetta asked me to come down to the World's End Tavern, and I'm like, um, kay, and both she and Pizmo were there, and I'm like, what the crap is going on? I felt weak in the knees when Pizmo took off his goggles, but then dread when Kaetta did the exact same thing. Kay, I thought he never wanted to be within like 100 miles of her after the debacle in Silithus, and now they're all acting in tandem? What the heck?

And then Kaetta totally starts LAYING into me, saying that she never should have been mad at Pizmo, she should have been mad at ME because she was jealous of him and I tossed her love aside and I'm like, is this a joke? We've TOTALLY talked about it before, maybe not in super duper detail, but I know - I KNOW I've totally asked her if it's OK to talk about Pizzy and stuff to her and she said it was OK. And what the heck am I supposed to say about her feelings for me? It's like if a furbolg confessed his undying desire for her. Would she be like, holy crap, that's the awesomest thing ever, or like, world of awkward?

But wait, it totally gets even better. She said that Pizmo had the idea that they should hurt ME to make everything even - that he suggested that he sleep with her to make me jealous. Are you freaking KIDDING me? Are we in KINDERGARTEN or something? I stepped on your foot so you're gonna poke me in the eye? And sleeping with her? SLEEPING with her? Is he out of his ever-loving MIND? Kaetta assured me later than nothing happened, not even kissing or anything, but still. STILL.

So I turned to Pizmo, and he's all smiling at me like, hurray, everything is awesome now. I'm like, what the hell is WRONG with you? I mean, trogg balls, isn't it enough that I debased myself begging for us not to take a break and then he disappears ANYWAYS? Isn't it enough that he didn't respond to any of my letters? That he sent back my packages? That I had no idea if he was OK and I ran all over two fel-infested worlds looking for him? How much more do we really need here, huh? Especially after I poured out my heart to him about how I'm afraid of being abandoned again?

And so then Pizmo's like, it's always about your pain! And I'm thinking, hello, you MADE it about my pain when you were all, "let's hurt Duerma to make it even, hur hur hur." But I tell him, look, I've been writing you letters, I've been sending you packages, I tried learning magery and engineering, I've been doing everything I could possibly think of without any feedback to try to make things better, but he doesn't even LISTEN.

Weeks and weeks I've been trying to fix HIS pain and he doesn't even see that, doesn't even care, and he's like, what do you know about my pain, reading your book and crap, and I'm like OH MY GOSH, have you even been LISTENING to what I've been SAYING? I've been TRYING to fix it. The fight with Kaetta was because I was so upset that she would hurt HIM. And that my part in it came because I was trying to protect KAETTA's feelings in the first place?

So then he's like, you're an ass because you tread on people's feelings like they have none, and I'm thinking, you SON OF A TROGG, don't you GET that EVERYTHING that has happened has been a result of me TRYING to care for someone else's feelings? And then he just teleports out of there, but not before he hugs Kaetta and compliments her. Seriously, what the crap.

I always thought that my reunion with Pizmo would have to be fantastically wonderful or fantastically awful to get me back to being friends with Kaetta, and I can't believe it was the latter. She and I talked for a long time. She told me that he really did love me, he just had really warped ideas about how to make things work out. That this was some kind of equation to be balanced. That he doesn't really know how to work out this social stuff. That he values my opinion.

Yeah, so, I was crying so hard that I threw up. Again and again. And when Kaetta told me about how he was courteous and complimentary of her, I threw up then too. Finally, I'm like, look, you better have some White Coven folk checking in on me this weekend, because I seriously don't anticipate being able to keep anything down. So she told me to come stay with her. Sure, whatever.

I loved him so much - love him so much - and this is how it ends? A month ago I was going to marry him and make him babies, and now I never want to see him again. Light. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I actually thought I'd found happiness.

Where do I go from here?

So, I went to the last place on my list today, which was up to Bashir's Landing to investigate the prison cells up there. It's a lot easier now, since people are totally beating up the ethereals and stuff to try to recover the mana cells for the Shattered Sun effort, but it was still a pain to get the keys I needed to open things up. I found a bunch of weird creatures... but no Pizmo.

That's it. I'm out of ideas. I have NO idea where else he could possibly be. I don't know of any other enemies he might have or anything else. I really, really hope that he's not in trouble, because I sure can't rescue him if I can't find him.

There's this bard song that's totally been running through my head.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

I swear, this is totally me. Pizmo, baby, where are you?

Karazhan!

So, Lightlance and I totally led a squadron to Karazhan last night. It was totally amazing - whereas it used to take us FOREVER to explore the tower, we cleaned out the whole place in under 3 hours! It was pretty amazing. Of course, we didn't find any of the rare, interesting treasures I was looking for, like enchanting recipes or that one cloak the Prince likes to wear sometimes. But it was still fun.

I kept an eye out for Pizmo the whole time. Given that we were in every room in the tower last night and there was no sign of him, I think that means I can scratch this place off my list. Sigh.

Silvermoon is full of fail

Kay, so like, we were here for a freaking WEEK. And I swear we explored every little nook and cranny in that city. I found out that Silvermoon has two auction houses, one creepy government, and more gay bars than normal ones. I also found out that the backbone of their entire textiles industry is a bevel of leper gnomes under tight supervision of a succubus. I ALSo found out that the blood knights' pet Naaru had escaped, which is interesting. But no Pizzy. Or any Alliance prisoners, really; I guess maybe they leave prisoner taking to the orcs or something like that.

So, we poked around the rest of Eversong Woods, but there wasn't really anything there. I knew
we weren't going to find anything. I guess it was good to get away, get my mind off things and stuff, and Gren and Mel are totally amazing and awesome friends for helping out and stuff, but... yeah. Now what?

A quick trip north

So, I totally met up with Grenny and Mel-Mel, and we went to Ironforge to Pizzy's workshop! I figured if Melryn was gonna do any tracking or anything, then he'd need somewhere to start, right? So we go in there, and we're looking at his papers, and like, they're all graphy and confusing and everything.

THEN all these Alarm-o-bots and Crowd Pummelers come in, and this dude with a pink beard is all, you guys are totally TRESPASSING, get outta here before I call the cops! So we totally scoot, and the only thing that I still have in my hands is one of my letters. I can't even tell if it's recent or not. And Melryn smells it and is like, "Smells like a flower from Quel'Thalas! Let's go!" And I'm like, huh? But OK, whatever.

So, we get on the gryphon to fly to the Hatchet Hills, cause that's the closest we can get, and I swear it's like the world's longest gryphon ride. Well, OK, I guess Booty Bay to the Hatchet Hills would be the world's longest gryphon ride, but still! So, I'm thinking about this letter. Why would Pizmo have a letter that smelled like a flower in Quel'Thalas? Why would he be up there, and why would he have come back? And why a FLOWER and not, like, bloodthistle or something? Maybe he was diddling some little tramp on the side, and that's totally her scent. That would explain why I haven't heard a damn word from him for over a month.

But... that didn't really explain why the scent was on a letter that I WROTE!!! I mean, Pizmo can be kind of clueless sometimes, but I don't think he's dumb enough to read a letter from one girlfriend in the presence of another. Unless they were totally laughing at me. Oh geesh. I'm gonna be sick.

2 years of Wildfire Riders!

Ugh, kay, so I was totally planning on going to Blackwing Lair this evening, but at the last minute Tarqy-Tarq announced that it was the day for the Wildfire Riders' 2nd anniversary, and of course anyone who was anyone was going to be there, so that totally left me fresh out of raiders. So I went to the party - I mean, what the crap else was I going to do?

And so there was drinking and speeches and Grenny totally announced that he was retiring from adventuring, and I'm all, WHAT, cause he's totally my favorite priest EVER. And after he finished talking he totally pulled me outside, and I'm like, what, and he's like, do you hate Kaetta? And I'm like oh my GOSH, I can't believe she dragged him into this! So I tell him, I don't like, hate her hate her? But I mean, come on, she totally just trashed the best relationship ever with the best guy ever, and things were going so good and I love him and would totally marry him if he asked but now he's gone and it's all her fault and oh snap, I started to cry again. Go me go.

So Grenny's like, we should totally go look for him. And I'm all, what? He's like, we'll grab a tracker dude and we'll find Pizmo and I'll totally talk some sense into him. And I thought about it, and at first I was like, c'mon, it's not like I haven't been making any effort. I've totally harassed his employees and written him letters and sent him care packages and stuff. So yeah, I could go look for him, but he could be anywhere from Kezan to Northrend.

And it's totally been a long time. Maybe my letters just aren't getting to him... or maybe he just doesn't want to answer. And if he doesn't want to answer, then maybe I would just be wasting my time looking for him, time that might totally be better spent getting drunk and throwing darts at his picture and swearing off men forever and ever.

On the OTHER hand, maybe he's in trouble! Maybe he's held prisoner by ethereals or being tortured by psycho blood elves or something totally weird like that. Could I totally ever forgive myself if he was in trouble and I didn't go looking for him just because I thought he hated me forever or something? Even if he DOES hate me forever, if he was hurt, then I'd totally hate MYSELF forever, and that's just a lot of forever hatingness to deal with.

So, I'm like, kay. Let's find him. And we can take Melryn. And it'll be TOTALLY. AWESOME.

I've been careless with a delicate man

This just keeps getting worse and worse and WORSE. SERIOUSLY.

Kay, so I met up with Pizmo today, and I dressed up for the holiday, because I'm like, dude, I'm not going to let my psychotic soon-to-be-ex-best friend going to dictate whether or not I get to celebrate our love or whatever. Um, well, evidently Pizmo didn't agree. And he didn't agree that it was better to honor Kaetta's request to not interrupt than to jump in and make things worse. He didn't agree that her rant was totally stupid and beneath our attention. And he sure didn't agree that she didn't really insult him flat out, just kind of insinuated that if he messed up he'd be in trouble.

No, he felt hurt. Crushed. Stabbed in the back. That I didn't even care that he was getting ripped to shreds by this psycho that he had never even met before. That it meant I treated him one way when we were in private, and another when we were with other people. That my standing with other people was more important than his feelings. And he didn't understand how I could treat him like that.

I tried to explain everything to him. I really did. But... I dunno, it's like my mind turned to mush, and everything I tried to say sounded like idiocy. And all I could do was cry and apologize. My reasons were decent. They made sense. When I talked with Ilarra, she said it totally made sense. But nothing I could say could even TOUCH the pain that he felt. And even if my reasons are totally sensible and logical and he has no right to be upset with me? It doesn't change the fact that I totally devastated the person I love most.

Why does this even HAPPEN to me, GOSH? I never asked Kaetta to fall in love with me. It's just like two years ago - I never asked Jobe to fall in love with me. BUt they did - they can't control their stupid emotions when I'm involved with someone else and then stupid things happen and everyone blames me and it's NOT FAIR AT ALL. I just want to be friends with everyone. I want to be nice to people. I never wanted to hurt anyone.

Pizmo went so far as to suggest we break up for awhile, but I begged him to keep me. I don't have any sorting out to do. I know what I want - I want HIM. And I'll do anything, anything at all to fix this big stupid mess that I'm in. I'd do anything to see him smile at me again. I'd do anything to know that he's not just aching whenever he thinks of me.

Kaetta has her piece

OK, so, like, we were at the War of the Shifting Sands thinger that I talked about before, right? And everyone dissipated, except Pizzy, and me, and Kaetta, and Bellesta (cept I didn't know Bellesta was there until just a sec later). And Kitty-Kaetta's all, are you sure you wanna be here for this, Duermy? And I'm like, oh my GOSH, what are you going to SAY to him? This is totally unnecessary. But she persisted, and so I was like, OK, look, I'll stay here and listen, because either I hear it first hand or Pizmo's gonna come and tell it to me anyways.

So then she's like "I see through your nice guy persona, and if you hurt Duerma at all, then you're going to be scattered to the sands of time." OK, well, she said a lot MORE than that, but it was basically that over and over. Bell and I just kind of hung out, listening, not interrupting because that would just prolong the whole stupid ordeal.

Finally, after what seemed like freaking FOREVER, she shut up, and Pizmo was so mad. Like, I don't think I've ever seen him so mad. He was all, what is your PROBLEM, GOSH, Duerma's happier with me than ever, and you're ranting and raving like I'm a common criminal or something! And, of course, there was more to that, too, but that's the gist of it. When he was done, he portalled away. I have NO idea where he went.

Kaetta was all, "Sorry Duermy, but I had to do it." And I was like, you know what? No, you really didn't. I used my hearthstone to go to Shattrath, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I checked where I could in Ironforge, too, but nothing. I have no idea where he went to. And I'm so worried that he's going to be upset with me for my insane friend. As for Kaetta... I don't even know what to say to her until I've had a chance to damage control.

It totally figures! Just when things were going smoothly, something like this happens. Grrrrr.

Searching for something

Another day with Pizmo! I'm really digging this regular interaction. I worry SO much less when I know he's going to be around. And, I dunno, it kind makes everything seem more real and stuff.

Anyway! So, we had totally previously decided that we were going to spend our day looking for certain elusive recipes. That's nice and all, but you know, it's also kinda boring. So, I decided to make things more interesting by wearing my off the shoulder Draenei dress for our expedition. Yeah, it meant my pewpew power was a little less, but whatever!

So, we totally went to Eclipse Point first to look for my recipe, and none of those blood elves had it. It was really tedious going around and interrogating every single one, so I started seriously flirting with Pizmo. It feels kind of weird to be a leader of the free world and yet be using my body like a hussy in a tavern, but it's SO FUN because he is SO easily affected and he wears his emotions on his sleeve. The way he was reacting, I was expecting him to make love to me right there. But, to his credit, he kept after the blood elves.

We weren't really making any progress, so we headed over to Coilskar point to try to find his recipe. We didn't have to threaten many naga before they gave it up. He was so excited! And I'm glad, too, cause I'm gonna need one of those diamonds here eventually. So I was all, let's celebrate! And he's like, what about the blood elves? And I'm like, forget about it, we need fireworks! So I made him portal us to Ironforge and we bought fireworks and set them off.

Then I was like, do you know how to MAKE fireworks? And he's all, no! And so then I had him follow me all over Lordaeron to visit the elders and collect their coins so we could buy some schematics for him. I think he had a lot of fun with that wild goose chase - he seemed to be a lot more relaxed after we finished.

We teleported up to Moonglade, where the Lunar Festival was in full swing, and bought some stuff. I used my coins to buy one of Pizzy's schematics. And then... he bought a tailoring pattern. And I'm like, um, all that running around was for YOUR benefit and you just buy something you can sell anyways? SO. Lame. But, whatever.

So then he was like, kay, should we go back and attack the blood elves again, and I'm all, no, we totally need some alone time that doesn't involve lighting other people on fire. So he started thinking of where we could go, and I think he suggested Azshara or something? I told him no, he'd get sunburned; he mentioned his hat and I told him his hat can't cover up the rest of him. It FINALLY clicked, and then he started babbling off ALL sorts of different places - I swear, he named like every place that has at least one shade tree or something. I swear, he doesn't have enough blood to run both his brain and his... um, never mind.

So, I let him know that every minute he spent babbling or we spent traveling was a minute that we couldn't spend on more pleasurable pursuits. I think I exploded his brain or something. I'm thinking I shouldn't tease him anymore, at least until he figures out how to make the first move already. Anyway, so we found a quiet room in Nighthaven, and he decided he would give me a massage, because in his view we'd only done things for him all day. Fine by me! It was really good, too - I'm impressed that he could give such a good one.

We made love after that, and I won't get into the details, but suffice it to say, I apparently giggled at an inappropriate time, he freaked out, and starting accusing me of thinking that he didn't satisfy in bed and a bunch of crap like that, and I'm just like, come ON. You said something funny, I've been perfectly happy with all our other experiences, and so on. He wasn't satisfied, though, until I told him he was better than Zandramas. That's not really hard to do, since Zandramas had the libido of a dead eunuch, but you know, whatever makes him happy. Geesh.

So, that was our day. It really was pretty good, and I love him to bits. He can just be kinda frustrating sometimes.

Reproductive biology

So, today was my day with Pizmo, and it was... interesting. Not, like, in a bad way, but... I dunno. Stuff to think about.

Anyway, so we totally met up in Shattrath, and we went to Nagrand to pick up Pizzy's gems cause it was the last day of the month - he swears they have better stuff when he waits that long. And he did get some pretty shiny ones! Then, we were trying to decide where to go next, when all of a sudden he hopped out of his flying machine (which is SO COOL, by the way - I totally wish I had one) and started shooting this cloud with a laser beam or something. Then he gave me 3 motes of air! He said he pulled some pieces of sky down just for me. He's so cute.

So, then we were like, gosh, what the heck are we gonna do today? And we decided that we should at least go have lunch or something, so we flew back to the inn at Telaar, because they have ice cream there.
So, we're totally sitting there eating and he asks me if I'm feeling better from my "female time," which is kind of weird because I haven't HAD my period yet - it's too early - and I'm just now starting to have symptoms and stuff. So I'm like, uh, no, ask me that a week from now. And then he was like oh my GOSH, what if you are PREGNANT, I'm not ready to be a daddy, blah blah blah. And I'm all, dude. It's a couple days too soon, my period'll come on Saturday or Sunday, and it'll all be fine. And suddenly he was all paranoid and like, are you fertile right NOW, and I'm like NO, there's only a few days a month a woman can get pregnant.

And so then he's all, we're talking about women's bodies, what about MEN'S bodies, what about MY body? And I'm all... um... think you're fertile all the time. And he's like, how do you KNOW? And I'm like, um statistical analyses or something, we could look it up in a medical book or whatever, and he's like NO, that's not what I MEAN, and I'm like, FINE, what DO you mean? And he totally danced around the subject for like EVER, and I'm like, just spell it out like I'm stupid or whatever.

FINALLY, he tells me that the radiation from Gnomeregan may have made him sterile, so if kids are a dealbreaker, I might as well just leave right now. And... I dunno. I didn't really know what to day. I mean, it makes sense - it's a miracle he's even alive, really - but I dunno that I had seriously considered it. I mean, I'd love to bear him children. It'd be incredible to bring new life into the world that was a product of our love for each other and stuff.

But... I mean... as much as it would be wonderful... it's OK. I mean, if having a gaggle of kids was my main focus in life, then I'd be some housewife in Ironforge or whatever. And maybe that's something I wanted back before Gnomeregan. I can't really remember. But that's not my focus right now. I'm out to save the world. And help people. And help people save the world. Or something.

And I mean, if I don't have any babies with Pizmo, it's not like I'm totally missing out on the chance to be a mother or anything. I've got Wynni. I've done the pregnant thing. And besides, oh my GOSH how many orphans are there in the world? I mean, geez, with wars non-stop, it's practically more common to grow up in an orphanage than with real parents, you know? I think it'd be amazing to be able to give those kids a chance at a better life.

Besides, how could I let Pizmo go? He's amazing. I can't even enumerate all the ways he's amazing. How could I abandon a man that I'm insanely in love with to look for someone who can put babies in my womb? I'd much rather be deeply satisfied with all other aspects of my life than go find someone who can ice the cake, so to speak. Besides, we don't even KNOW for sure. How stupid would it be to find someone to knock me up when it'd turn out that Pizmo could all along?

I tried to explain all this to him. He just felt so ashamed, and convinced that he was fundamentally broken and ruined and how could I possibly want to stay with someone that was so defective. It just breaks my heart to hear him say these things, you know? And it makes me TOTALLY crazy that he won't just believe me that I'm so not going anywhere, I'm not leaving him for anyone or anything.

And then, I can't remember quite how it came about, but Pizmo told me that he enjoyed making me happy. That with everything I do, I deserve a warm embrace to come home to.
That, of course, just sent me back to Warm Fuzzyville. And, of course, one thing led to another, and we made love upstairs. And HOLY CRAP. OK, so, I know that I try to skirt around the lovemaking thing, because it's private and special, but Pizmo is incredible. I swear, he has a prismatic punchcard memory or something, and an engineer's creativity. You'd never know he was a virgin a month ago. And that's all I'll say about that.

Someday, we'll stop having deep discussions and actually find the recipes we keep saying we'll look for. But for now? Whatever. I'm happy. And that's what matters.

He loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!

OK, so, I was just about to write "best day EVAR" here, but I'm totally beginning to think that pretty much all of the days I've written about that have involved Pizzy have totally earned that moniker, so I'm not even gonna BOTHER! Except I guess I kinda already wrote it anyways but that is totally not important.

ANYWAY! So, I was totally wearing a new dress, and I met up with Pizzy, and like we always do, we were totally trying to decide what to do, and I suggested we look for the recipes we were gonna look for LAST time, and he was like, OK, whatever. But, you know, Pizzy's really not very good at hiding his emotions, like, at all, and the way he was looking at me and some of the things he said? Yeah, so not thinking about punking blood elves or whatever. So, I suggested we go to the hot springs in Un'Goro, and we left for Ironforge.

As we were waslking through Ironforge, though, I was like, dude, I don't wanna do all that traveling. And Pizzy was complaining about the warmth, so I was like, whatever, let's just go to the Hinterlands, it's totally cooler up there and I don't really need to kill a devilsaur to have a good time. So, he arranged for gryphons, being all cute and telling the gryphonmaster not to give us a bum gryphon or anything.

After we landed at Aerie Peak, we decided to take a stroll, and we walked arm and arm all the way to the Overlook Cliffs, talking about his business, about Azi, and about the merits of the polymorph spell. He was so cute in trying to show off, and it was so pleasant just getting to be with him. We found a totally great spot by the waterfall, nice and shady so Pizzy wouldn't get burned at all.

I figured we'd just make love right off the bat with the way he was looking at me and stuff, but I guess he got nervous or something cause then he asked me about my parents. Now, I know that totally seems innocent to other people, but seriously, if you're a gnome, you don't ask about people's families unless you seriously want to chat about the incident, because 90% of the time the answer is, "Oh, they died at Gnomeregan." And that was my answer. So, I'm like, OK, whatever, we can talk about Gnomeregan, so I asked him about his family, and not surprisingly, his mom and his brother prolly died there too. Something about the way he described it sounded totally odd to me, so then I asked him how old he was. And he was like, I dunno, 50, 80, somewhere around there, and I'm all, dude, that's a pretty big range.

So then he started telling me what happened after Gnomeregan. He woke up after a few weeks and couldn't remember anything - not his family, not even his own name. And it was obviously so painful for him. And so I told him what happened to me, cause even though it wasn't nearly so bad, it was kinda the same. I woke up after a couple weeks in Anvilmar, and I could remember how to do things, and sketchy outlines of my life, I couldn't really remember other things. Like, I remember Rinkle and Gibble, sort of, but not really a lot of the feelings, or events - not really who they WERE, you know?

And I'm left wondering, how many more of my memories would be missing if I didn't have my brother Noodler to help me from the start? And it's sad, cause I mean, we're two gnomes from two totally different places, and yet we have similar experiences, so how many others have totally forgotten stuff too? And of all the people who died in Gnomeregan, how many have been forgotten just cause radiation borked our brains? I mean, if no one remembers them, it's like they never existed in the first place.

We snuggled with each other for a bit, just kind of content in the knowledge that we weren't alone in our experiences. And you know how cuddling is, especially when your sweetie is looking at you the way Pizmo was looking at me. So yeah, we made love, except, you know how it was me in control all the other times? Yeah, he was having none of that - he took me like a man. It was amazing. And that's all I have to say about that, except, no one tell Pizmo what ovulation means, OK? Thanks.

We snuggled and I told him I loved him. And... he told me he loved me too, for the very first time. I won't go into the mushy details, cause it was all special and stuff, but yeah. We may have both lost memories, but we're gonna make even BETTER ones. Together.

Pizmo meets Wynne

So, today I totally had Pizmo meet up with Wynni and me before she went to school, cause I figured it was pretty much about time that they met - I mean, COME ON, they're totally the two most important people in my life right now! And I totally thought we'd have lunch together or something, but then we just totally started chatting in the middle of the terrace. And Wynni asked RIGHT AWAY if "the naaru forgot their crayons when they made Pizmo." Oh my GOSH, I was so totally embarrassed. I told he it was for the same reason that I fall asleep all the time, and the Pizmo, bless his HEART, told him about some of the problems he has cause of his albinoism, like sunburns or whatever. And we moved on! That was it!

And Wynni told him about school, and Pizmo was like, I bet you're a better colorer than me, and Pizmo showed her his machines like the mechanical squirrel, and she was totally amazed. There was one other kinda weird moment - she totally asked him if he was her new daddy. I think I totally resembled a strawberry in that moment. I just kinda stammered but Pizzy TOTALLY stepped in and was like, I'm your mommy's friend, can I be your friend? And then Wynni was talking about playing catch and everything. And he was just INCREDIBLE with her. I was just like, holy gyrochromatoms, he'd be an amazing father. And wow, do I love this man like SO MUCH. I think I'm the luckiest woman EVER.

So, I totally took Wynni to school, and we totally started talking about what we would do with the rest of our afternoon together, and really, I totally just wanted to have a day like we did last week at the Loch, where we just snuggled and talked about whatever and generally enjoyed being together and stuff. He totally wanted to go out and GET THINGS DONE -like, he wanted to help me get materials for tailoring or enchanting or make some money or things like that. I tried to think of ideas, and a couple times I inadvertently suggested activities that would help him more than me, and he was totally like, no way, I want to help YOU. He's so sweet.

So, FINALLY, after talking around in circles for like EVER, we decided to go to Shadowmoon Valley to try to find me an enchanting recipe or something. And as we walked towards the flight master, I was like, nuts to this. I totally don't want to light anyone on fire today. So I gave him a good kiss before hopping on the gryphon, and when we got there I totally dragged him to the inn. And he was all, what's going on, and I'm all, dude, I can't kill anything in this dress. So, I took it off and seduced him. Hehehe. If I can't have a mushy romantic afternoon, then this is totally just as good.

I totally told him I loved him again afterwards, when we were just kind of cuddling on the bed. He totally asked me again how I knew, and I was totally fumbling with words again and stuff. At some point, I told him that I felt like I could totally be with him forever and it'd be totally fine, and his eyes got all big, and he was like, you want to get MARRIED?! And I was like, crap, I totally didn't mean to bring that up, like, at all. And so then I prolly sounded even MORE stupid cause I was freaking out that he would freak out, and while yeah, I'd like it maybe someday, I totally didn't even mean RIGHT NOW, and oh my gosh. I was so worked up that I was totally shaking.

But he totally didn't freak out. I mean, he worried, "what if it's a disaster" and told me some of his fears and stuff, which are totally unfounded but I guess I understand why he's concerned and stuff. And I tried to assure him that everything was totally OK, but I guess it's something that will only be resolved with time, you know what I mean? And I assured him that it's not like I wanted us to get married RIGHT NOW, cause even if my heart is totally saying that, my brain tells me that we have a long time to go.

He totally had to get going to some kind of trade show thingee, and we left with a lot to think about. I don't really know what's going to happen, but at least there's an open dialogue now, right?

Down by the Loch

K, so after what seems like FOR-FREAKING-EVER, I finally got to see Pizzy today. We met up in Ironforge and then went to Loch Modan and sat down by the water. And I was really really really really hoping that I could just be normal and everything would be good but I TOTALLY freaked out and unloaded on him. I mean, I KNOW he was going to be there and that Kitty-Kaetta and Sely-belly were totally right and everything, but... I mean, it's not like Zanny gave any warning before he buggered off the first time, you know? And I just hadn't heard from him and I was hormonal cause I was still on my period and everything and... yeah. Of course, Pizzy was totally confused, and I tried to explain it, but what's to explain? I eventually just gave up and told him it was totally irrational based on past experiences and stuff. And I mean, no one ever wants to think that what they're feeling or saying is totally nuts and stuff, but I was totally talking in circles and confusing even myself, I guess. And he asked what he could do and I told him he could snuggle and comfort me and tell me he's going to protect me from all the problems we can't light on fire. That made him laugh.
So, we really didn't DO anything. We just sat by the water and talked for like EVER. He's starting up some huge corporation thinger that's totally going to sell EVERYTHING and he says it's going to make so much money and be so exciting and I'm like, wow. He's totally doing all this amazing stuff that I don't even understand, and he's so excited about it. And even though I don't really know what's going on, it's so totally amazing that he's working so hard to fulfill his dreams and I totally hope I can help.

Before we parted, I told him I loved him. And he's like, how do you know? And I'm all, crap, how do I answer that question? I mean, I've been in love before. I totally know what it feels like, and it's not like it's easy to explain or anything. I spouted off a couple random things that I could think of, but I need to think of something meaningful that he'll actually understand. And something that doesn't involve "I'd have your babies and marry you and change your catheter when you're 350 and incontinent" because I'm thinking we're not really prepared to talk about that yet.

Catching up with family

So, I totally took a dreamless sleep potion last night so I slept well and everything, but of course since I went to bed at like 6 or something, I was still up a lot earlier than normal. It was totally OK, though, 'cause I was greeted by this:

Isn't that just a totally AMAZING sunrise? Seriously! I mean, it might be a ridiculously snowy place like Dun Morogh and everything, but at least there aren't these huge honkin' mountains to block the sun until it's practically noon or something.

OK, and can I say how INSANE I'm going being away from Pizzy? Seriously, I'm starting to think that maybe I should have put off the whole sex thing until after the break so then I wouldn't feel like I'm going without air or whatever. Is it always like this? I wish I could remember more about my early relationship with Rinkle, but then we were hardly ever apart because it was before Gnomeregan exploded and everyone's family lived in the same house.

ANYWAY! So, I got up, and Britta totally made us some Curiously Tasty Omelettes (and I was all, dude, Noodler, how'd you get a gal who cooks for you and stuff?), and then Noodler totally wanted to take us hiking, and I'm like, isn't there snow everywhere, and he's all, so? So we totally bundled up, and I made him strap Wynni to his back cause I'm like, she's totally not going to walk when she's freezing and stuff, and you're the athletic one Mr. Ironsmith! So he was all, OK, whatever, so long as you defend us, Ms. Super Awesome PewPewer. We rode out past the grain fields that surrounded Westgarde and started walking. It's totally wild how different forests are - like, the pine forests here are totally different from the trees that grow in Dun Morogh and Tirisfal and Silverpine Forest and Terokkar Forest and stuff. I guess maybe that's why druids don't get TOTALLY bored after a century or two.

So anyway, we totally spent maybe a couple hours out there, and then we totally came back and Britta was gone off to her job, but there was totally a tone of nice hot cider for us, so we warmed up good. And then Noodler and I totally got to catching up. He was totally there for the wedding, but I think he left like right before Wynni was born? And I've totally sent him letters and stuff - well, at least a couple of them - but it's totally different hearing it right from the source, you know what I mean? And it's not like he's heard ANYTHING about Pizzykins yet. He was tentatively happy for me - I think he may have met Pizzy waaaaay back in the days of the GCC? - but of course, he was totally an overprotective big brother and doesn't want me to get burned again. Noodler totally offered to beat the ever-loving CRAP out of Pizzy if he ever hurt me, and he totally could since he's totally beefy and everything.

Anyway, so I got to hear about how he and Britta met and got together and everything, which was totally sweet, even though I still think he's kind of a weirdo for marrying a dwarf, for heaven's sake. I asked him if he would ever move back to Azeroth so it wouldn't totally take for-EVER for me to come visit him, and he's like, no way, cause all Britta's family live in Westgarde and Valgarde. Dang it all! I totally need to get Pizzy to learn how to make a portal to Northrend or whatever so it's easy to go and see them.

Hello, Valgarde!

Oh my gosh, you guys, last night I had the worst nightmare EVER. I dreamt that Pizmo and I were making love, and then we rolled over, and instead of Pizmo it was Tiggs. I woke up in a cold sweat, but at least I didn't scream this time. That's totally progress, right? My first instinct was to turn on my comms and see if I could get ahold of Pizzy, but of course I didn't, cause HELLO, middle of the ocean = no reception, and besides, it was like 4 in the morning ANYWAYS. And what would I say to him anyways? "Hi, remember that talk we had about the past and how it totally doesn't matter and I'm cool now? Yeah, well, I'm still a little bit crazy." Geez, he totally has a hard enough time figuring me out without throwing PTSD crap into the mix too, gosh. So I totally tried to go through some of the exercises my therapist taught me, and it kinda helped a little bit, but I think I'm going to be using those dreamless sleep potions like every night or something, cause I totally know this won't be the last nightmare I have. Bleh.

So I TOTALLY could not get back to sleep after that, and so I just kinda got dressed and wandered around the ship and stuff. The few sailors that were up were totally giving me weird looks, cause HELLO, who wanders around at 4 in the morning, but what-EVER, what do they know anyways? I totally found out that we had dropped anchor and weren't reallly going anywhere at night. They told me that it was totally because icebergs and stuff sometimes come floating down from Northrend and they're totally hard to see or whatever, and it would be a disaster of titanic proportions if we were to run into one. That totally makes sense! Then I totally started asking them about how to do shippy stuff and they were really nice and stuff. I think they were totally excited to have someone awesome to talk to cause th graveyard shift can totally get boring and stuff. I figured I'd be totally wasted by the time we actually sailed into Valgarde, but whatever, Noodler'll understand and stuff.


So, I totally went back to my cabin as the sun was coming up, and Wynni was totally up already, jumping on the beds and stuff. We had breakfast, played tickle games, etc. until it was like noon? Maybe it was a little afternoon - it's so hard to tell with the winter sun. Anyway! That's when we actually saw Northrend! Huge cliffs and all that. It was pretty nifty. And then they showed us the narrow little passage we had to go through, and I was like, NO WAY, we are SO going to die, and they were all, chill! We had to wait just outside the fjord for a little bit, cause there was totally a ship coming out and it's not like you can pass each other or turn around while you're in there, you know? And geez, those cliffs were totally even taller than the ones in Azshara, seriously.

So, after what seemed like FOREVER, we finally started our journey through the fjord. Oh my gosh, you guys, we were moving so SLOW! I mean, it's not like the big old caravels can move super fast anyways, but I mean, this was even slower than normal. We had guys hanging out both sides of the boat, hollering back and forth about how close the sides of the boat were to the sides of the fjord. And oh my gosh, the WINDS, you guys. We had to put the sails down so we wouldn't get blown someplace dangerous, so they were totally just rowing, and the winds were totally just SCREAMING in our ears. Wynni started crying and holding her ears cause she totally didn't understand what was going on. We bundled up in our cabin and all, and that helped my feeling of impending DOOM and muted the sailing winds, but it was still kind of eerie and all.

FINALLY, after what seemed like FOREVER AGAIN, we felt the boat lurch to a halt and the anchor being dropped and everything. We gathered our crap and hurried up and deck, and there was Valgarde! It was totally an impressive site, too. After that skinny little fjord we passed through, it totally opened up into this frickin' HUGE bay, and there were houses and docks and everything lining the whole thing. Noodler was waiting out in front, which is good, cause I'd totally never find him amidst all the "tallheads" (as Pizzy would say, hee). I gave him a HUGE hug, and he scoooped up Wynni in his arms cause he was so totally pumped to meet her, and she totally freaked out cause OMG stranger.

He told me that he totally didn't live actually IN Valgarde - I guess he didn't jibe very well with the people there or something? I dunno. Instead, he lives up in WESTGARDE, which was totally up on the cliffs and stuff. That, uh, freaked me out just a little bit. Makes me really wish I had remembered my parachute cloak and stuff! So, he got on his ram, and I summoned my fire horse of DOOM to carry us to our final destination, which was still another couple hours away. GEEZ.

When we FINALLY got there, it was a cozy little house that kind of had both human and dwarven architecture. Noodler's wife, Britta, was totally inside cooking dinner for us and everything, cause by that time the sun was TOTALLY going down and man, we were starving and everything! She was TOTALLY cute (well, you know, for a dwarf and stuff). We had seafood gumbo and hot cider to drink. Mmm, it was SO good. I was ready to crash at that point after all the traveling and getting up early; Noodler & Britta told us they'd be fine taking care of Wynni while I went to sleep.

Happy Winter Veil, Pizmo

OK, so after the whole brouhaha in Ironforge, I was feeling pretty bummed, so I totally went out with Kitty-Kaetta to a pub and chatted about it over drinks (milk for me, hard liquor for her). She pointed out that from what I've described of Pizzy, he was probably just insecure, and it's not really evident of any deep-seated trust issues or anything. I guess that hadn't really occurred to me. Oops. So as we chatted and I thought about it, I came up with a plan that was totally opposite of what I had been thinking before.


So! I totally met Pizmo in Ironforge, and we had a nifty holiday meal and stuff up on the balcony at Bruuk's. And we totally talked about what happened, and he apologized... for trying to be possessive of me and stuff. I'm like, what? I mean, we've totally been seeing each other for a couple months now, and I'm not seeing anyone else, and he's totally not seeing anyone else, so we're already exclusive by default which would totally give him the right to be upset and stuff. But he said that if I wanted to bed Lightlance (HOLY CRAP EW) or whatever then he wasn't going to make any noise about it. And then he said something about bracing himself for me leaving him, and I'm just like HOLY CRAP. I mean, we'd guessed that he was kind of insecure and stuff, but for the love of demons, man, I'm not just going to randomly bugger off or anything.

So, I had us verbally agree to be exclusive which we were TOTALLY doing anyways - not cause I expect any of us will DO anything, but at least he has that little bit of peace of mind, right? And then I totally had him follow me to the gates of Ironforge, and I BLINDFOLDED him! Hahaha! In retrospect, this game was totally better for the problems I THOUGHT were there and not the REAL problem, but hey, whatever, it still worked out OK and made my point and stuff.

OH YEAH! What we actually did, GOSH. So, I totally took his hand and told him this was an exercise in trust and stuff. I'd tell him where we were but not where we were going. I think he enjoyed it? It's totally hard to figure out if I can't see his eyes or anything, which incidentally is why I prefer him to take off his goggles, but that has nothing to do with anything so back to the matter at hand! I TOTALLY rented this little cabin in eastern Dun Morogh (near the quarry and all) and stocked it with hot apple cider and stuff, and so that's where we went. I totally didn't take his blindfold off til we reached the bottom of the stairs, hahaha!

So, we totally had some cider (his was spiked a little to ease his mind, hee), and then I went about seducing him, asking him to trust me at every critical juncture. And it went really well - even better than I had expected, which is totally awesome. And since the lighting was low, he totally didn't even notice my stretch marks and scars and stuff, so that made things even EASIER. For his part, I know he was really self-conscious and everything, but you know what? I didn't care in the slightest, because I can't remember the last time that I made love with a man that I really, truly cared for. (No, I'm serious - that's not just a dramatic cliche. Zandramas was already on his way out by the time we consummated our marriage, and my memories of Rinkle are really sketchy. Stupid Gnomeregan radiation.) And there was something about watching him watching me that was really special, kinda like experiencing this again for the first time through his eyes.

After we finished, we totally exchanged Winter Veil gifts. He gave me a little candy that read simply "You're the best." I had been expecting something a little more showy, since he's all about the money and stuff, but it was TOTALLY cute. Then he opened his gift. He was totally FREAKING OUT about the schematic - seriously, I've never seen him so incredibly excited. That made me as happy as the lovemaking did. So then he's like, let's go celebrate! And he totally yanks me up the stairs and outside (YES we were dressed, you weirdo!) and we shot off fireworks into the snow. He's so totally adorable.

He asked me when he would see me again, and it totally sucks cause I don't think it's going to be until after Winter Veil is over and it's the New Year and stuff. I mean, I'm totally leaving tomorrow to visit Noodler and his wife up in Valgarde, and I won't be back til at least the 26th or so (worse if that stupid fjord freezes over again). As the reality of that set in, I totally didn't want to go - I just wanted the afternoon to keep lasting until forever. It was just so perfect, you know? So as he was talking about making portals and Tower harassing me or whatever, I wasn't even paying attention - I just snuggled in closer to him.

Finally, he decides that it's totally freezing standing out there in the snow, and he suggests we get inside somewhere, so I totally tugged him back to the cabin, and for all of his talk of leaving and business or whatever, he totally came with me. We spent another good 3 hours together, drinking cider, talking, laughing, making love. It was pretty much the most perfect day EVER. And I think he totally did loosen up a little bit - at least, he wasn't nearly so nervous as the day stretched on - so I guess we've made some progess.

Unfortunately, as good things ALWAYS do, the afternoon had to end. He got called away for some economic crisis and I totally was recruited to help Tarqy-Tarq smoosh trolls in Zul'Aman. It totally broke my heart to have to finally separate - I can't believe it's going to be so freaking LONG before I even get to talk to him again! But I'm so totally glad that we got things resolved and stuff is so good between us again and stuff.

So yeah. Anyway. Best day EVER.

A matter of trust

Oh. My. GOSH. You guys. Words cannot even DESCRIBE how upset I am. I just - AUGH. I don't know how much longer this relationship with Pizmo is going to last, which is totally whack because things were SO good just a couple days ago. I totally don't even know what to do here.

OK, so, backing up. I was totally chatting with Pizzy about Karazhan and his jewelry business while I was in Shadowmoon Valley, and I was trying to figure out a good excuse to go see him instead of just saying "HEY, let's get together" 'cause I was afraid he'd say it was too late or he was too busy with business crap or whatever. And then I totally remembered I had this Star of Elune in my pocket that I needed to get cut for Lightlance before tomorrow (since he totally got some awesome new boots and needed them to be pimp before we kick the crap out of Lurker and friends). So, I flew back to Shattrath, and I changed into a dress, hoping for maybe a little sumpin-sumpin after the gem cutting and all.

So, I found him in Ironforge near the bank, and at first he was happy to see me, but then he started asking questions like "is this lightlance all muscley and heroic" and I'm like, um, I guess. I mean, come on, he's the number one beating-taker for my Serpentshrine Cavern expedition. You don't get that position without being all burly or whatever. And then Pizmo's all like, well, why are you getting this cut for him? And I'm all, well, we're going to punt Lurker and Hydross tomorrow, so he needs to be totally pimp, and there weren't any solid stars for sale when he looked, and I was like, well, my Pizzy is the best gemcutter EVER and I'll be seeing him soon so I'll totally just get it cut then.

Then, I don't know what happened, but he just goes TOTALLY BALLISTIC, and accused me of cheating on him with Lightlance! I'm like, what the CRAP are you TALKING ABOUT? And he points at my dress and mentions my errand, and why was I dressed like that, and I'm like, CAUSE I'M COMING TO SEE YOU, GOSH. And he accused me of being at dinner with Lightlance before coming to Ironforge, and I'm like, what? I was killing Nethermine Flayers before I came here, and I totally haven't even SEEN Lightlance for awhile, he MAILED me the stupid gem, and what the CRAP is his PROBLEM. And he's like, well, what am I supposed to thing, and I'm all, you should freaking TRUST ME. And we just kept going around and around in circles.

Finally, I was like, fine, I'll take my business elsewhere. And he insisted on cutting it. So I said, OK, and I'll go off and disenchant this dress because obviously it's not something I should be wearing, and I'll be sure to pick up some ragged crap from the auction house or whatever. And he's all, no, I like it, so I ask why he's giving me such CRAP about it? I agreed not to melt it, but you can bet your brass bolts that it's going to be used for mopping and dusting or whatever.

So, then he apologized for drawing conclusions and yelling at me in the middle of freaking Ironforge, and then we're all just standing around awkward-like. I kept hesitating to go, cause I kept thinking that maybe that would be the moment when he'd say, hey, let's have dinner or throw snowballs or whatever to help make up for bad feelings and all. But no. So I totally just hearthed and cried.

So yeah. Worried. And pessimistic. I mean, he may have apologized for that particular instance, but none of this would have ever happened if he had trusted me. And I already talked about earlier how I'm having problems trusting him. Geez, I thought everything was awesome - was I just blinded by kisses and kind words? How can we have a freaking relationship if we don't trust one another?

Maybe Kaetta was right. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered in pursuing this in the first place.

Trashy Romance Novels

So, um, okay. I'm trying to figure out how to write about this and still be discreet and everything. Pizzy was off extracting air motes in Nagrand, and I'm all kicking booty for the Netherwing guys, and we were just kinda chatting on our comms and stuff (which was totally nice, by the way, must do that more). I asked him what he wanted for Winter Veil, since it's totally coming up and stuff, and he totally turns the question on me. So I'm all, um, I dunno, a new enchanting recipe would be killer, or a FIGHTING ROBOT! And I asked him what he wants, and he's like, um, a schematic for a fighting robot? Ha! So funny. So I said I'd look, but it's kind of a rare recipe, so what does he want if I can't find it.

"You, in nothing but a silk sheet, in front of a fireball - er, fireplace - with sweet smelling oil to rub on your back..."

I seriously dropped my comms right there. That was seriously like the LAST thing I expected him to say. And then... well, that's when it gets weird. He started retracting his words, saying that oil was a dumb idea, and I'd catch on fire or something, and I'm all, what? Why'd you even SUGGEST it if it wasn't something that sounded appealing to you? And then he kept talking about how the robot would be totally cooler than a nice romantic evening, but then he'd non-sequiterly add details about the evening, and I'm like, do you even KNOW what you are saying?

So, then, I ask him when he wants to do it, and he said maybe he'd spirit me out of a guild meeting or something, and I'm like WHY would you do that when I have all this other time otherwise unaccounted for? And he's like, it'd be quick, between speakers or whatever, and I'm all, do you even KNOW what you are TALKING ABOUT? I'm not some Goldshire "wham bam thank you ma'am"!

And so I asked him if he's reading crib notes from a trashy romance novel, and he tried to defend himself, and ultimately confessed that he wrote some stuff down. Look, it's OK if you get ideas and everything, and I guess you can read crib notes if you're REALLY that nervous. (Geez, I didn't think I was THAT intimidating.) But for the love of everything, just tell me the damn truth, kay thanks! I mean, it's not like I can't tell, and all his posing and stuff just upsets me, not make me like him more or whatever the heck he's thinking. So, I told him to actually consider stuff he proposes instead of just reading it off, and maybe we'll get somewhere.

Ugh. I didn't think sex was such a big deal. I was looking forward to being intimate with him, but with all this nonsense going on, I just kind of want to get it over with so he'll freaking RELAX.

Conversations by a waterfall

So, I know I totally haven't written anything in like FOREVER, and that's TOTALLY been because nothing's happened! I mean, I'm like, sheesh, how do I keep getting into relationships where I never get to see the other half? But today I FINALLY managed to catch Pizzy when he wasn't totally busy, and he TOTALLY found this pretty place in Nagrand for us to go to! I'm so totally excited that he's taking a little bit of initiative and stuff.

Anyway, so we get up there, and it's just TOTALLY gorgeous. I gave him a couple gems to cut for me, and he totally did, and I at LEAST got to see him cut the topaz. Did you know that he can make them be shiny or matte and it totally doesn't affect the function of the gem? SERIOUSLY! I totally don't get what facets and everything make the gems function differently. But Pizzy does! He can seriously cut like EVERYTHING. I told him htat I was bragging about him to my friends and he's all, what? And I'm all, TOTALLY! And then - oh my GOSH, you guys - I fell asleep and dropped the gems he just cut. And then I guess he found them, but they were stuck on the neckline of my dress, and so he's all freaking out and coming at me with these scary looking tools and crap.

ANYWAY! So, he totally started asking me how the Tower was going, and I totally told him about Zelanah making me supreme overlord of everything, and he's like what the crap did she do that for? And I'm like, well, it's not like she ever comes around anymore, and someone's got to lead the Tower. And he's like SERIOUSLY freaking out over this, saying that I'm overburdened and people are harrassing me and crap, and I'm like dude, I like doing this. And he seriously CANNOT GET why I would want to be the Emissary of the Tower, or lead armies into dangerous places or whatever. And I'm like, what's NOT to love? MAN.

And so then I'm like, well, see, we're just different - I like the thrill of leadership, and you like business, while you hate the idea of being a leader and I couldn't stand to be in business. Boy, that set him off! He spent like the next half hour trying to convince me I should start my own clothing line, and telling me abotu allthe markets I could penetrate and crap, and I'm just like, WHYYYYYY? I mean, I have enough for me and for Wynni, and while yeah, financial security in the future is always nice - it was thinking along those lines that goe this whole thing started, right? - but I'm not going to open a freaking business. I have neither the time nor the interest. And he's all trying to convince me and I'm like AAAA MY BRAINS.

So I tried to explain that I was building social capital, and if it really bugged him then we could freaking get MARRIED so then it's not a problem or whatever. Except, I kind of chickened out and it didn't come out like that and he thought I meant we should start a business together. Blah. Not that I'm like HEY LET'S GET HITCHED RIGHT NOW, cause I'm totally not, but come on, isn't the definition of marriage through the history of the world where the wife manages social contacts, the husband brings in the bacon, and there's sex and kids on the side? Just sayin'.

Anyway, so the idea of a business partnership - heh - seemed to make him happy. So, we moved on to, um, other things that I won't discuss in a public blog. And it was good and stuff. But... arg. I wish Pizmo wouldn't make crap up to impress me. I don't really care, and it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm going to think him totally more wonderful if he's done all this stuff. And it really gets in the way sometimes. Like, I asked him this one question where it was totally important for him to tell the truth, and I had to drag the answer out of him, and he only fessed up when I made a really big deal about how the answer mattered and stuff.

I mean, I guess that he's totally just nervous to have a girlfriend and he wants me to like him and crap (geez, is this a blog or a 35 year old's diary?), but I really need to make sure he's not going to lie to me on the big stuff, you know? I don't want him to be all of a sudden, hey! I totally embezzled money and I am already secretly married to a goblin man in Northrend or whatever. Not that I expect that - I mean, I trust him and all - but still, it makes me kinda squeamish, you know?

Anyway, whatever. It was an amazing afternoon, and I think I totally love him even if he can be a pud about some things.

Lunch with Pizmo (finally)

OK, so, today was totally awesome. And I was totally dumb to be worrying so much and everything, but I'm totally getting ahead of myself, so I'll just describe what happened!

So, I'm going with Macmoran and couple other guys to kick the crap out of the stupid blood elves inside the Botanica, right? And we were totally going to bring this one mage and then he was like, oh crap, I can't go, so we needed another mage! And I saw Pizzy had woken up so I asked him and made him come! I was kinda worried that it would be awkward, and it was maybe a little at first, but he hugged me and I gave him his souvenir - a Bag of Jewels that I sewed for him. I embroidered a little tropical scene with a goblin shredder on it so it was still kind of Kezan-y, but at least this way he should totally be able to use it, right?

Anyway, so we totally go to the Botanica and we waste things and Pizmo doesn't seem to mind that I'm squeezing his hand or giving him a peck on the cheek when we have a bit of downtime. I was armed and prepared to butter him up - I totally baked some cookies and everything. So, we finish with the place, get a splinter of the Warp Splinter so we could show the Consortium dudes that we really cleaned out the joint, and then we boogied on back to Shattrath. I told Pizzy that he should have lunch with me. I changed into my totally gorgeous new robe and took a peek in the guild bank to make sure everything was going OK.

So, Pizmo finds me in the bank, and I turn around, and he's totally speechless! It was really funny to watch and listen to. It's funny, cause when we went swimming my swimsuit was totally off the shoulder like the dress, but I guess maybe he didn't expect me to be showing so much skin in public or whatever. At any rate, it was totally awesome to know that I affect him like that. We finally made our way down to the tavern, and we plop down on the bearskin rug and I get out some food and stuff.

Then Pizzy's all, why are you being so lovey dovey and stuff? And I'm like, um, I was gone for a long time and I missed you and I totally embarrassed you and I feel bad about it? And he's like, but you were mad, and now you're not - how the heck does that work? I guess he didn't think that his apology did any good, so I told him it was totally like when you put a bandaid on a wound, and then over time the wound heals up. I guess that sorta made sense. And then he's like, your emotions are so spontaneous and unpredictable! And I'm like, huh? Dude, you said women were brain-damaged! And then he's all, you're still mad; you look like you want to punch me out! And I'm like, NO! I'm just frustrated!

I can't remember how we segued - I prolly fell asleep or something - but then he started being TOTALLY romantic. Like, telling me my eyes were like the waters of the ocean in Feralas, reflecting moonlight or something like that. I TOTALLY wasn't expecting anything like that, and it was so awesome. I mean, he was really nervous and stammering and stuff, but he was TOTALLY sincere. I'd much rather have a nervous, sincere man than a suave phony, you know? And so I told him so.

That's when things got REALLY weird. OK, so there was this paladin guy talking to this chick up front - I think it was Genise - about enchanting his gear and stuff. And - get this - Pizmo totally starts quoting what this guy is saying in the middle of all this romantic stuff. And I'm like, HUH? And then the guy up front starts saying REALLY weird things, like "That's when I put my pants back on" and talking about swimming in oatmeal, and Pizmo is sort of repeating after him but is trying to change it into normal words or something? I dunno. It was REALLY bizarre. He FINALLY starts talking like a normal person again, and then he kissed me! I mean, we've kissed before and stuff, but Pizmo's always been too nervous to start the kiss himself.

All in all, despite the bizzarity, it was a really, really lovely afternoon. I totally think I'm falling for him. *grin*

Conference Day 6

Second to last day of this conference. Man, I'm so totally sick of Kezan. I mean, it was cool at first but man, I've been here like FOREVER! I think I'm going to stay away from Area 52 for awhile. And I'm going to go somewhere where there is NO humidity and enjoy how my hair is NOT frizzy every day and how there are not machines cutting down trees and how people realize there's more to life than money!

Ahem. Anyway, so another day of not presenting, but I can't go home because I gotta present tomorrow. I thought about attending the seminar on how to reuse undead parts, but I think Wynne was about to explode. So, we found this place called Profitopolis that had all these funky rides and everything. The people I asked said it was pretty popular with the little goblin kids, so I figured we'd try it out. They had one place called the Adventure Company where she got to pilot a miniature shredder, and the Steamwheedle Go-Cartel, where she got to drive goblin racers around a track. The whole thing was kind of chintzy to me, but Wynni was having a good time, so whatever. She's totally enduring this stupid conference thing with me, so I can shell out a couple gold to give her a good time.

So, I got on the comms this evening so I could communicate with folks about our upcoming Zul'Aman expedition, and investigate the newly constructed guild bank, and other kinds of taking care of business. Pizmo actually did show up on the comms tonight, and I tried talking to him again, and he was still totally non-responsive and everything. I have so had enough of this. When I get back, I'm gonna put on my blue and gold dress that I got from the Draenei, and I'm going to bake him some cookies and sew him a Bag of Jewels, and I'm gonna make him forget that anything ever happened except for some good old-fashioned lovin'.

Sightseeing in Kezan!

So, today was a much more relaxing day than the last ones, and it totally felt like the vacation I promised Wynni. First, we were totally going to go see some Troll sights (being all cultural and stuff). We got to the edge of Undermine's city limits, and we were TOTALLY stopped by these big purple guys that looked like goblins except they were big and purple. "No. Trolls!" they told us, trying to steer us back to the city. Um, hello, I KNOW that, GOSH! I even demonstrated my mad warlock skills, hoping to get them to step aside, but no dice. Then I totally summoned an infernal off to the side, and they all ran after them. The purple guys mighta been big & burly, but boy, they're not very smart.

So, we went out into the jungle and we found a troll hunting party, and oh my GOSH they were so nice, they totally led us back to their village so we could have an awesome cultural lesson! They had a wicked cool ziggurat and this awesome voodoo decor, and they even had a jacuzzi! They totally invited me to sit in the jacuzzi, but I was like, no swimsuit! And it's not like Wynnikins is old enough for a jacuzzi. Then they got TOTALLY insistent, and I was like NO WAY, and they were all, AXES, and I was all OMG! So I did PEWPEW SEED OF CORRUPTION and HOLY CRAP RAIN OF FIRE and I grabbed Wynni and RAN AND RAN AND RAN!

Maybe those purple guys weren't so dumb after all.

ANYWAY! So, after our incredibly intriguing cultural experience, we decided to totally go swimming. All of the natural lakes were totally polluted by goblin machinery, but can you believe that they made FAKE LAKES just for SWIMMING? I swear, it's totally true! And we didn't have to worry about murlocs or fishies biting our toes or whatever. It wasn't too bad! Wynni is totally getting good at floating and kicking.

In the evening I totally turned on my comms to take care of some totally important Tower business, and Pizmo totally tuned into one of my channels. And it was kinda awkward. But I totally told him that I was so TOTALLY sorry! And... he didn't say anything. And I totally told him that I was sorry, over and over, and he totally didn't want to talk to me. Ugh. I don't know what to do now. I really, really wish I knew what he was thinking, and how to make it all better.

Conference Day 2

So, we totally got back to our inn at like 4AM. UGH. So, I got a couple hours of sleep to supplement what I got on the ship, but MAN, I was so TIRED today. And I had the hardest time falling asleep too - all I could think about was Pizmo and the MORTIFYING IDIOCY that went on last night. See, someone made a rude comment when all I did was squeeze Pizzy's hand, and I lost my cool and yelled that come ON, I was TOTALLY just hand squeezing and it's not like we re treating them to HOT GNOMISH PORN or something. Yeah, uh, so that was a dumb thing to say, cause it totally went downhill from there and I HATE EVERYONE and he's probably never going to talk to me again.

So yeah, I was just a little bit tired and distracted when I made the second half of my presentation. I think I might have gone over some of the demons I did yesterday. That's OK, though, cause man, some of those gobbies had NO CLUE what I was talking about. Like, seriously, who in this day and age has never heard of an INFERNAL? I got to do a fun object lesson there. At least, it was fun until the enslave spell ended. But then it was fun to watch him run into the crowd! Don't worry, no one got hurt! I think.

Anyway, so my presentation was a SMASHING SUCCESS (ahahahaha). My next one's not until Monday, but I'm so not getting on that stupid boat again. ARG. So, after a good nap, Wynni and I went out to discover what goblins do for fun. We totally found an arena where you could buy a fighting robot and totally do robot battles. Wynni loved it, and it was totally way safer than the steam armor battles down the street.

I'm totally looking forward to relaxing tomorrow! Maybe we can go shopping and I can find a totally awesome souvenir for Pizzy. Maybe that would make up for last night's fiasco. I sure hope so.

Boomstick Spire Run!

So, I totally was in Shadowmoon Valley working on helping out the Netherwing dragons and stuff, and then I totally noticed that Pizmo was on one of my comm channels, and so I asked him what he was up to! And he was kind of uncomfortable about telling me, and then he finally fessed up that he was in Blackrock Spire with the Boomstick Gang - NAKED! So I asked if I could watch. He was kind of taken aback by that. But I pressed and he told me to contact the guy in charge, and so then I totally got to join them!

So I hurried over to Blackrock Spire and stripped, and I ran in and took a wrong turn and everyone had to save me, and then I was totally mortified because I was in my undies and everyone else was at least wearing a shirt or whatever. So what-EVER. I pulled on a dress. And it's like he'd be ribbed if I hadn't, and ribbed if I had. Stupid men. ANYWAY! So we ran through there and pretended that we were Dark Irons so maybe the Spire denizens would totally attack Blackrock Depths or something. Farfetched? Maybe. But it was fun!

And so, we finished, and then we portalled back to Shattrath. And Pizmo was all excited to show me that he liked doing interesting things... besides just "sitting around." And I was all, huh? Are you telling me that you see our previous evenings together as nothing besides just sitting around? Cause I mean, I totally thought it was getting to know each other and putting our hearts on the line and rejoicing at finding someone to trust. But you know, whatever.

But wait, it totally gets better. He was totally protesting and told me that he had already said he enjoyed those evenings, so why should have have to remind me? And I'm all, HELLO, girls like to be reminded of stuff like that. And then he says, "What, do they have some kind of mental defect that makes them forget?" Yes, I'm serious. He really did say that.

Well, I didn't get to be the Emissary of the White Tower for lacking tact, so I simply said "No," turned a heel, and totally stalked away. I managed to get as far as the elevator to the Aldor Rise before I burst into tears. I mean, seriously, WHAT GIVES? Things had been going SO well and then it's like he's been possessed. I thought maybe those friends of his in the Spire really got to him, and he was having second thoughts. And I began to think that maybe Kaetta was right.

After a few minutes, I saw him run out of A'dal's terrace and start talking to passers-by, who pointed him over to me. He apologized, and we worked everything out. It boggles my mind that he honestly didn't know what he had done wrong, but when I explained it in terms of graphs and variables, it all clicked with him. He responded by telling me that our affection for one another, if graphed, would look like a parabola, ever increasing without plateau. And to counteract "unknown variables" that could be destructive to the relationship, we should simply increase the amount of affection displayed. Hee.

So, the evening ended well, though I still have some lingering doubts now. I hope we can smooth things out, and I really wish I wasn't going to Kezan tomorrow.

Another evening with Pizmo

So, oh my gosh, it'd TOTALLY been more than a week since that amazing evening with Pizmo. And he kept telling me that we'd get together and do stuff, but then he stood me up again and again.. I mean, I know he's like an absent-minded inventor guy and stuff, but I mean... I guess I started totally thinking that he had changed his mind. Like, maybe he went home and was all, crap, I'm so in over my head or whatever.

So today, FINALLY, I convince him that we should get together and do something. So he asks me to meet him in Nagrand. OK. I kinda dozed off on my nether ray, and he woke me up, and asked me to go to one of the flying islands. Which, I mean, I like spending time with him and stuff, but it was kind of weird for the guy to suggest that we go sit and talk, you know? Unless he's just looking for action, but that doesn't strike me as Pizmo's style, know what I mean?

So, we get up there, and he looks at his gems, and then he's just quiet, but then he brings out some booze and starts nursing it. Now, I don't dig alcohol much, and it was weird for him to start drinking just out of nowhere, you know? And he was like twice as fidgety and sweaty and everything as usual. And I'm all, Pizmo, what's your deal? And he brushes me off, and offers me water which is totally gentlemanly and stuff, but isn't answering my question, you know?

So, I just let it go, and I asked him what he'd been up to, and he totally wigs out. After dragging it out of him, I find out he was totally doing community service in Ironforge. After MORE dancing around the issue, he fessed up. Remember last year sometime when some crazy gnome blew a hole in the side of the Deeprun Tram, saying it connected to Gnomeregan? Yeah, uh, that was Pizmo. I sure know how to pick 'em, huh?

But then he started explaining himself. He told me about evidences he'd found, and how angry he was that Ironforge had not lent any forces to help clean out Gnomeregan, how frustrated he was that the High Tinker hasn't really done anything besides send token adventuring parties in rather than launch a full-scale assault. And while I'm not sure I buy all the conspiracy theories and whatnot, I see where he's coming from.

He asked me if I thought he was crazy for all this. And you know what? Zandramas was crazy, in a delusional sort of way. I've known other really, truly crazy people. But Pizmo? He's a patriot that went about things the wrong way. Why should those who succeed be called freedom fighters and those who fail be called insane? And so I told him that. I think that pleased him as much as I was pleased the other night. I'm so thrilled he trusted me as much as I trusted him.

A walk in Feralas

So, I totally found Pizzy again today, and we totally decided to go to Feralas so we could ride on a boat and take a walk on the beach. I really wish he'd come up with some ideas other than killing crap. Anyway! It was kind of awkward at first, and then I asked him to cut a gem for me after we got off the boat. He warmed up to that, even if I did fall asleep while I was doing it.

And then we totally saw this school of Stonescale Eels, but it's not like either of us know what to do with a fishing pole. And OH MY GOSH, you guys, it was so totally cute. He made himself invisible and snuck into the water and threw a bomb and brought me back a fish head. I mean, OK, yeah, a charred fish head is kinda gross, but the whole thing was just kinda sweet, you know?

ANYWAY, so we totally started walking, and we downed a sea giant and a couple elementals just for kicks. Then we just kinda found a log and sat and watched them. They didn't even notice us, just stomping back and forth and everything. And then... Pizmo brought up the letter I sent him. See, the other night he asked me why I liked spending time with him, and I was thinking about it, and I kinda ended up writing this huge letter talking about stuff that had happened since I saw him last. And the IDEA was to show that Zandramas was a pud and Pizmo is totally opposite and everything, but, uh, I may have gotten carried away. Maybe.

So, we got to talking, and he was kinda confused why I would write so much. Well, yeah, no kidding - hello baggage! At first he thought it was cause I thought he'd do all those things. Holy NO, totally the OPPOSITE of what I'm trying to say! So I said that I wouldn't have seen him in the same light if I hadn't gone through all that stuff.

Somehow, FINALLY, it totally got through to him what I was trying to say. And he said he didn't know he had been through so much stuff; he'd assumed that I was living a domesticated dream or whatever. We both felt bad for not keeping in touch, but I mean, what kind of guy stays in touch with a girl after she's married?

And so then, in light of all this, I told him that if he totally wanted to just keep things on a friendship level, then I would so totally understand. Cause this is a lot, you know? And you know what? He was TOTALLY cool with it! He said that he felt sad that I was sad, and that he thought maybe he could make me smile. OH MY GOSH, isn't that totally the sweetest thing EVER?

He asked if I was still totally sad, and I told him that it's good to learn from my mistakes, but I don't want that stuff to hold me back. I totally had a conversation with Kitty-Kaetta before we went out today, and she was all, holy crap, I would never date him, because I totally don't want to be hurt again. But I mean, if the potential for total awesome happiness is there, then, shouldn't you take it?

It was just totally magical, and not in a PEWPEWPEW kinda way. I wish that the evening never had to end. Oh my gosh, I'm glad I didn't let some of his social awkwardness scare me off. And I totally can't wait to see him again.

An unexpected turn of events

So, oh my gosh, it'd been more than a WEEK and Pizmo still hadn't contacted me, even though I'd been totally reminding him and stuff. I mean, I'd invite him to dinner and all, but when he doesn't even tell me when he's free, it's TOTALLY hard, GOSH!

But anyways! Today Tarq was all like, hey, let's go beat up the Nexus-Prince guy inside of the Mana Tombs of Auchidoun. And I'm all OK! Sounds fun! And so I totally went. And you know who was there? PIZMO! And so I was all, dude, why haven't you contacted me for dinner and crap, and he gave excuses and stuff, and so I finally put my foot down and said AS SOON AS this Nexus-Prince and his multi-headed dog is dead, then we are TOTALLY having dinner WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! Man, I totally wouldn't have this reputation for bossiness if people would just get off their duffs and DO STUFF!

Anyway! So, we kicked some butt, and then I dropped by the Lower City to get some munchies (I'll learn to cook someday, I swear), and headed off to Nagrand! I totally set up my picnic basket on one of those little floating island thingees above Telaar. I even totally dismissed my imp, even though he helps me stay awake so well, because I know that people are totally weirded out by having a demon hang around.

SO! Pizmo shows up, and I give him dinner, he conjures me some water, etc. etc. I think I must have done all the talking. He seemed kind of nervous, and he was sweating like a boar, and it was all kind of awkward. And so, at first I thought "DUDE, Duerma, totally lost cause." But then I thought, maybe he's just kind of wigged out by just sitting and eating? Maybe he'd totally loosen up if there was activity involved or something! So when we finished eating, I told him that we'd go do sometihng in the evening, so STICK AROUND!

So, I totally picked up Wynni from her playgroup and we had some rockin' mother-daughter time, and then I put her to bed, and I tracked down Pizmo again. I totally ran into one of my old friends - Sevelia - at the bank, and we were chatting and everything and Pizmo totally thought he could bugger off, but I told him NO, we are going to go SWIMMING!

So I called for Tootsie and we totally took off for Lake Jorune, which is right above the Horde town in Terokkar. No one was there except a bunch of friendly Arakkoa guys! I totally ducked into one of their huts to put on my wicked awesome swimsuit. And he shows up and is ready to dive in with full robes! I'm like, dude, that's OK for the odd adventuring situation, but they totally weigh you down and stuff. And he freaked out but with coaxing I managed to get him down to his pants. So then we jumped in, and swam around the lake, and watched fishes and splashed and stuff, which was totally fun until he started turning blue. Ooops.

So, we get out and we sit down by a fire and we started talking - I can't even remember what about. OH DUH! My narcolepsy! Cause I kept falling asleep all the time! So I told him stories of what it was like before I was a warlock and stuff. And eventually he got tired of poking me awake so he just kind of held onto my hand, which was kind of nice. And then he started talking about making a device that would electroshock me awake so I didn't have to rely on demons and stuff, and he touched my neck, and... Mmm, hormones.

Given his shyness and stuff, I figured the only way to find out if there was any possibility of romantic interactions was to take matters into my own hands. Er, lips. So, I leaned over and I kissed him good. He was totally surprised - but in a good way and stuff! Long story short, we agreed to mutual romantic interest in each other and did a lot of smooching.

This is totally not how I expected yesterday to turn out - but I am SO not complaining. Looks like I gotta buy ice cream for everyone!

An old face for killing Gruul

So, tonight was our weekly foray into the Dragonkiller's lair to kick his trash and take his stuff, because Gronns are ugly and they smell funny. And of course we totally won and got nifty things and all. But that's not important! Well, I mean, being TOTALLY AWESOME is always important, but I mean, that's not the point of this post!

So, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day of the Gnomish Citizen's Council, I met all of these TOTALLY amazing gnomes! And one of them was this guy named Pizmo, who was endearing in an odd sort of way. Well, guess what! He TOTALLY came to help us kill the ogres and stuff! And so I started asking him about what he's been doing and all, and he's like a totally amazing business guy. Pizmo's Gemmies and Jewels! I think I mighta bought stuff from him before and totally didn't even know. So yeah. And after all this time, he's not married or anything either.

So I got to thinking. I mean, he was totally a nice guy before - I'd have considered him a friend and stuff. And he's established, stable, and seems to have a real handle on things. I'm thinking I should get to know him better. I mean, worst that happens is that I have a good friend that I can call on when I feel like blowing the crap out of some blood elves or whatever, but best case scenario... Wynni gets a new daddy. A real daddy, not some numbskull who runs off because he thinks dragons are talking to him in his head. And I get to be not lonely anymore. I mean, I have tons of amazing friends and the massive army I help command every week and I'm TOTALLY the Emissary for the Tower and stuff... but I'm also a woman. And it's been years since I've had someone that I REALLY cared for, who cared back and stuff.

OK, so now I'm totally putting the rocket car before the steam engine, but I mean, it's totally worth a shot, right? So I told him to ask me to dinner. We'll see what happens.