Welcome home, Pizzy

So, last night Pizzy got totally asked to go with my army to go to Serpentshrine Cavern. I guess they needed someone who was totally skilled at polymorphing to come along. It was kind of weird to have him going and me staying here, because usually it’s totally the other way around. But I was kind of glad that he left – he’d been working on this weird logging machine that looks kind of like a goblin shredder, except more like a harvest reaper from Westfall. It’s got these funky glowing lights on the shoulders and head, and while I know the townspeople of Westgarde were initially happy for the help, I think they’re afraid that this thing is totally gonna come kill them in their sleep.

Anyway, so I listened in on the officer channel (well, sort of – do you know how awful the reception is up here in Northrend? I swear, we’d do the world a favor if we built some repeater towers before we left) so I could kinda follow what was going on. Wynni and I were with Britta and Noodler, who really couldn’t follow what was going on, but that’s OK. I guess it was maybe a little rude to keep my buzzbox going that whole time while I was over for dinner and card games, but it’s like, Serpentshrine is MY territory, and it just killed me to know he was there and I wasn’t there to show him around, you know?

Well, Vashj stymied them, but Lurker, Leotheras, and Karathress all were defeated. I kept asking how Pizzy was doing but no one would tell me anything! I managed to gather that he didn’t quite have the damage output of everyone else, but he was good at turning nagas into sheeps and counterspelling when it was necessary, so that’s a bonus over some mages we’ve traveled with. I couldn’t find out anything about how he got along with people, though. I mean, I guess he was just quietly following orders and not really standing out or anything, but I guess I was kind of hoping to hear my friends tell me that holy crap, he’s like the coolest guy EVER. Oh well.
I made sure to get home before he did, get Wynni all tucked in, and get dinner made (big bear steak, yum). Britta and Noodler helped me summon him home before going to bed. He was tired and a bit worn – I guess Vashj’s lackeys roughed him up a bit – but he was TOTALLY thrilled because he came home with a bit of treasure: new gloves! We went upstairs and he ate his dinner while I rubbed his shoulders to get some knots out. He was SO totally excited to tell me about his experiences there – how he heroically shut down Karathress’ healer, how he blasted that crazy blind blood elf for all he was worth, how his arcane bag of tricks was perfect for helping keep Vashj’s fen striders under control. Having spoken with the officers already, I knew he was embellishing a bit, but it was still a joy to listen to.

As he finished eating and I began massaging down the rest of his aching muscles, he began gushing (haha, what a great pun!) about all the engineering in there. The bridge to Lady Vashj’s chambers is really pretty awesome, and I guess the whole place is a real engineering marvel – ginormous amounts of machinery sucking out the water of Zangarmarsh. Isn’t it funny how you totally ignore stuff like that when you go someplace all the time, and then when someone else experiences it for the first time, it’s like seeing it all over again?

We made love, and the last thing I saw before I drifted off to sleep for the final time was a contented smile on his face. I really hope that means that this evening was a pleasant experience for him. It was weird to be so domestic, but it was weirdly enjoyable too. I hope that he decides it’s an arrangement worth continuing.

DEAD SNAKE LADY

So oh my gosh, after what seems like forever of trying and being defeated like OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, my army TOTALLY defeated LADY VASHJ! Like, the queen of all Naga! Illidan's homegirl! Zangarmarsh's public enemy number ONE!
And I bet you thought that was all. Well, it's NOT! Because I TOTALLY recovered one of the VIALS of the WELL OF ETERNITY! It's stopped up pretty good so I can't experiment and see what kinds of fabulous things would happen if I drank it or washed my hair with it or something, but STILL! It's just like, dude! Here's a piece of history IN MY HAND! And physical proof that my army and I are FREAKING AWESOME!

DEAD BLOOD ELF

So, our totally amazing rampage through Serpentshrine Cavern TOTALLY CONTINUES! Tonight, we totally met up with this guy named Leotheras the blind. Apparently he's blind because he totally put out his own eyes so he could see demons, but that was a totally bad gig cause now he's all taken over by a demon and stuff. And so we go in and he's like MUAHAHA, I SPIN IN CIRCLES, and we were all OMG RUN AWAY! And then he was all, FIREBALLS ON HAMMY PEWPEWPEW and we all had mini demons we had to shoot at and when he was close to dead he totally split in two and became both a demon AND a blood elf at the SAME TIME. Totally creepy. But we were like, WHATEVER! More ASS to kick! And so we did and he was totally dead.
So, guys, that's totally the fifth lieutenant of Lady Vashj we've killed! THE LAST lieutenant! That means all that's left is the snaky lady HERSELF! How totally wild and crazy is THAT?

DEAD NAGA

Tonight, we went to find Karathress and his homies! And they were all laughing because they had TOTALLY kicked our butts and stuff before. And we're like, nuh-uh, not this time dudes. And we totally killed their traitor Broken friend! And they were like, oh snap, but haha, now the Fathomlord can totally make totems, so nyah! And so we totally killed the hunter dude and his pet, and they were like, oh snap, but haha, now the Fathomlord can totally be strong and butt-kicky! And so we totally killed the priest and he was like oh snap, I'm the only one left! And then we kicked HIS butt too! So that totally makes FOUR of Vashj's lieutenants that we've totally beaten. FOUR! I'm so frickin' excited and proud of my army!

DEAD GIANT

OK, so FINALLY, we get everyone back from Winter Veil and all settled down and everything, and we're TOTALLY kicking Naga booty left and right - and then we run into these MURLOCS! Like, HOLY CRAP! We haven't seen murlocs in Outland at ALL! What GIVES? And so we kick their booties and we go a little farther and there's this HUGE SEA GIANT! He totally reminded me of this Lord Arkkoroc dude I met in Azshara this one time when I was trying to defeat this demon lord in the Blasted Lands.
ANYWAY! So he sees us and he's like RAWR, and he stomps and makes an earthquake and all these murlocs come running out and we're like HOLY CRAP! And then he started trying to drown people too! And we're like, DUDE, just cause we killed your stupid murlocs doesn't mean you gotta take it out on us, GEEZ! And so we KICKED HIS BOOTY! SERIOUSLY!

DEAD PUDDLE

So oh my gosh, we totally go back to Serpentshrine Cavern after like a week of not doing anything at all, and there were SO many people who couldn't make it, so we had like 10 people with us who had totally never even been before. And we decide, you know what, we need to kill Hydross. He's sitting right there, and he smells funny when we run by. So we spend all night working on him, and he's beating us up pretty bad, and then all of a sudden it's like everything CLICKED and everyone knew what to do and then BAMF! Dead Hydross!

Woo, we are CRUISING! I totally hear that we get to beat up a sea giant next! Yay!

DEAD FISH

So tonight, after we'd been trying for a long time and just making silly mistakes and stuff, we TOTALLY KILLED the big fish thing that was lurking in the waters! And he even had COOL TREASURE! So here's the picture to prove it! Everyone else buggered off, but there's me with the sushi to show you that we TOTALLY DID IT!

Next on our list - Hydross, this big water elemental dude who gets all poisony when he steps off his platform! We totally tried fighting him some this week and we did really well! I bet we get him soon!

Kickin' booty and takin' names!

So, holy crap! It's been like totally forever since I wrote anything here! And it's so totally funny to read those last posts, because Curator is like the easiest guy to kill EVER! We totally waste everything in Karazhan and Gruul's lair, and right now we're totally exploring SERPENTSHRINE CAVERN! There are these uber naga there, and I guess spore bats are totally in or something, cause they have some mean ones.

But, OH MAN! We totally found this strange pool of water, and Tarquin was all, GUYS, let's totally fish! And so we went fishing and this CREEPY THING jumped out of the water! And he totally tried to eat Lightlance's face! And so we're like, OMG, uncool, PEWPEWPEW! And so the thing shot water at us but we were way too smart and we jumped in the water even though it was totally scalding hot! And so then the thing was like RAWR and he made a funny sound and totally dove into the water and then all these NAGA started coming after us! And we were like WHOA and HOLY CRAP cause they totally kicked our butts! So yeah, we were all defeated and stuff, but dang it, we're gonna go back and kill this evil fish thing ONCE AND FOR ALL!