It's a boy!

Today was the day! I’m an auntie! And I helped! Eeeeee! Beornraed Timble Whistlescrew was born this evening after dinner, at about 7:30, and he was about 6 pounds, which is huge for a gnome and small for a dwarf, but I guess it’s OK for something in between.

Anyway! So! Noodler comes by early in the morning, before breakfast, and tells me that I better hustle over there because Britta’s in labor. Oh snap. I asked how bad it was, and the contractions were still several minutes apart, so I had time to put my makeup on and get breakfast on the stove before running out the door. I found Britta in bed, looking rather uncomfortable. I’m like, are you ready for this? I’m about to get to know you a whole lot better. That made her laugh, at least.

I checked her cervix, and she was still only about 20-25 WW dilated. I told her, OK, you have quite a ways to go, so why don’t you throw on some clothes and walk with Noodler to work and let his boss know that he wasn’t going to be in today. Good thing it was the start of the week and a short day anyways!

I went back to my cabin to find Pizmo fumbling with the eggs and Wynni chattering to him endlessly about... turkeys? I couldn't really tell. Anyway, I let him know that I was going to need him to watch Wynni for the day while I attended to Britta. He wasn't super excited about playing babysitter, but I mean, what else is he going to do? I gathered up my supplies and headed over to Noodler and Britta's, arriving just as they were getting back. I told Noodler to ride down to Valgarde to get Britta's mother and sisters. He made a face when I asked if it was OK to summon my imp til he got back, and he wasn't thrilled about that, but I'm like, look, it's either that or my boyfriend getting to know your wife's nether regions, cause Britta's not going to be able to smack me if I fall asleep.

I massaged Britta and helped her with some breathing exercises while we waited for her family to show up. I don't think she realized what a long process this really is! Fortunately, this midwifery gig is way easier than it was back in the day. Most midwifes can't afford to stock Scrolls of Stamina or Restorative Potions, know what I mean? And man, think of what would happen if those doofs at the Cathedral of Light would let me train as a priest! I'd be all, Power Word Fortitude! Abolish Disease! Renew!

ANYWAY, Noodler finally showed up with Britta's mom and her sisters. He was frustrated that I needed their help and he couldn't just be one of the helpers, and I'm like, dude, that's awesome, but I need people to be roughly the same height as the birthing mother so they can help support you. She can't lean on you if you're a foot shorter than she is. And yeah, you could stand on something but you'd kill her if you fell over, so, um, no. So, he just hovered and fretted and got me supplies when I needed.

FINALLY, she began the actual birthing of the baby around 7, and the baby was head down, thank GOODNESS! I cast a scroll of stamina on her and gave her a troll's blood potion just to make sure that she'd be able to remain upright the whole time. (The births I attended where the mother was lying down were just the WORST. Hurray for adventurer's resources!) I helped the baby out as he crowned, and man, does that boy have a set of lungs. I used my sword to cut the umbilical cord, and I got him all tided up (and conjured water is pretty much the best invented spell EVER; it's SO nice not making people run for more and more buckets of water that might be contaminated anyways). The placenta came not too far after, but we didn't save it because Britta's not into cool ways of recycling. Oh well.

So there you go! The birth was really pretty typical, but it was the first time I've ever helped birth a baby that I was related to! And just seeing the look on my brother's face when he first laid eyes on his new son – that was just priceless. I'm so totally happy that he asked me to help out with this.

Seriously? Lay off.

Ugh, man, I was totally in a craptastic mood today, despite having had such a great evening last night. I dunno what my deal was. Anyway, Pizmo went off to work on his logging contraption, and I’m like, you know that’s scaring the crap out of everyone, right? And he’s like, I’m totally just trying to help, and I’m like, well, I’m not sure it’s really all that helpful, and we ended up getting into a fight. I just started crying, which is so not even like me, and then he felt really bad, but by that point, I was like, fine, just go work on your stupid logger thingee.

So, I go over to Britta’s to see how she’s doing, and she’s still totally freaking out about the whole Vrykul attack from the other night. She’s like, holy crap, maybe we should move to Valgarde cause they have a bigger contingent of soldiers, and I’m like, uh, I think they get attacked way more than you do. So then she was like, maybe going back to Azeroth would be smart, and I’m like, well, your family’s all here, and we’ve got undead and demons and all kinds of freaky things down there. There are some places that are safer than others, but I mean, nowhere is REALLY safe, you know?

And then – I have no idea what got me started – but all of a sudden I just could not stop worrying about Pizmo. I mean, I’m still so jealous of Noodler and Britta. They had troubles and stuff, but pretty much they decided to get married and then they did it. I still have no idea if Pizmo’s ever gonna want to settle down with me. I mean, as long as he can remember he’s been footloose and family-free, and he hasn’t ever dated anyone before, and then here I am with a kid and all kinds of psychological baggage ready to tie him down. And, like, this trip was supposed to be a totally good thing for us, but I mean, what if my cleaning OCD is getting on his nerves, or he hates living with a kid, or he doesn’t like that he’ll be getting my brother’s family in the deal when I won’t have any in-laws to deal with. I have such high hopes for such a simple life, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m sabotaging myself all along the way.
We had sort of recovered by the time the menfolk had gotten home – I kind of wish we hadn’t, though, because then maybe Noodler wouldn’t have decided it was time for a little “talk”. We go outside and he's all, you're sleeping with Pizmo, huh. And I'm like... um, who cares? And he's all, well, you're a smart girl, I just hoped you would have learned form your mistakes. And I'm all, what the crap are you TALKING about? And he's like, well, you were all ready to dump Zandramas and then you got pregnant and had to marry him cause of the baby; I'd think you'd be a little less promiscuous this go-around.

Um, yeah. So he has, like, NO FREAKING IDEA about what REALLY happened. I was kind of peeved at that point, though, and I wasn't about to say, guess what, big brother, I was RAPED, k? So I just said something about how it was totally different, and of course he wanted to know why, and I couldn't really SAY anything at that point. UGH. Take a chill pill, I know what I'm doing, I'm totally in control here. If I do manage to get knocked up, then it's gonna be because I KNOWINGLY did something stupid.

He’s like, look, how do you expect to ever get married again if you’re going to give away the copper bolts without selling the forge? And I’m like, um, well, I’d hope that any man who marries me wants to do it because he loves me and not because he’s desperate to get in my pants. And he’s all, I hope you’re not just offering your body because you’re trying to keep him around, or letting him take advantage of you because you’re still vulnerable from Zandramas. Um, no, and this really isn’t any of your business ANYWAY. And he's like, sorry, I'm just worried about you, and I'm like, whatever, I didn't blow over 400 gold to come up here and be harangued.

So, Pizzy and I went back to our cabin and I crawled into his lap in front of the fire, and he held me while I cried. He told me he had heard me defending him out there, and he really appreciated it. Then Wynni crawled into my lap and we just had a big awkward pseudo-family cuddle. I don't care what my busybody brother thinks. I'm happy with Pizmo, and that's all that matters.

Welcome home, Pizzy

So, last night Pizzy got totally asked to go with my army to go to Serpentshrine Cavern. I guess they needed someone who was totally skilled at polymorphing to come along. It was kind of weird to have him going and me staying here, because usually it’s totally the other way around. But I was kind of glad that he left – he’d been working on this weird logging machine that looks kind of like a goblin shredder, except more like a harvest reaper from Westfall. It’s got these funky glowing lights on the shoulders and head, and while I know the townspeople of Westgarde were initially happy for the help, I think they’re afraid that this thing is totally gonna come kill them in their sleep.

Anyway, so I listened in on the officer channel (well, sort of – do you know how awful the reception is up here in Northrend? I swear, we’d do the world a favor if we built some repeater towers before we left) so I could kinda follow what was going on. Wynni and I were with Britta and Noodler, who really couldn’t follow what was going on, but that’s OK. I guess it was maybe a little rude to keep my buzzbox going that whole time while I was over for dinner and card games, but it’s like, Serpentshrine is MY territory, and it just killed me to know he was there and I wasn’t there to show him around, you know?

Well, Vashj stymied them, but Lurker, Leotheras, and Karathress all were defeated. I kept asking how Pizzy was doing but no one would tell me anything! I managed to gather that he didn’t quite have the damage output of everyone else, but he was good at turning nagas into sheeps and counterspelling when it was necessary, so that’s a bonus over some mages we’ve traveled with. I couldn’t find out anything about how he got along with people, though. I mean, I guess he was just quietly following orders and not really standing out or anything, but I guess I was kind of hoping to hear my friends tell me that holy crap, he’s like the coolest guy EVER. Oh well.
I made sure to get home before he did, get Wynni all tucked in, and get dinner made (big bear steak, yum). Britta and Noodler helped me summon him home before going to bed. He was tired and a bit worn – I guess Vashj’s lackeys roughed him up a bit – but he was TOTALLY thrilled because he came home with a bit of treasure: new gloves! We went upstairs and he ate his dinner while I rubbed his shoulders to get some knots out. He was SO totally excited to tell me about his experiences there – how he heroically shut down Karathress’ healer, how he blasted that crazy blind blood elf for all he was worth, how his arcane bag of tricks was perfect for helping keep Vashj’s fen striders under control. Having spoken with the officers already, I knew he was embellishing a bit, but it was still a joy to listen to.

As he finished eating and I began massaging down the rest of his aching muscles, he began gushing (haha, what a great pun!) about all the engineering in there. The bridge to Lady Vashj’s chambers is really pretty awesome, and I guess the whole place is a real engineering marvel – ginormous amounts of machinery sucking out the water of Zangarmarsh. Isn’t it funny how you totally ignore stuff like that when you go someplace all the time, and then when someone else experiences it for the first time, it’s like seeing it all over again?

We made love, and the last thing I saw before I drifted off to sleep for the final time was a contented smile on his face. I really hope that means that this evening was a pleasant experience for him. It was weird to be so domestic, but it was weirdly enjoyable too. I hope that he decides it’s an arrangement worth continuing.

Attack of the Vrykul!

Good grief, what a night. So, OK, after a pretty boring day, we put Wynni to bed, and Pizzy and I were enjoying ourselves upstairs a bit, celebrating his newly exalted status with the Shattered Sun Offensive. It was like, seriously, 11PM at night or whatever. And we start making love, and all of a sudden there's this banging on the door. I ignored it at first, but then I heard Noodler's voice hollering for me to open up. Gah. So Pizzy and I finished up, and I threw on a bathrobe while he got properly dressed. Noodler was a bit surprised at my dishevelment (though I don't know why he SHOULD be - hello, ELEVEN AT NIGHT, HOLY CRAP), but he was mostly panicked. He was like, Duerma, you guys have to get to the keep. The Vrykul are totally attacking. And I'm like, what? And then I heard the dragon scream. Crap crap crap.

So then I was like, look, Pizzy and I are trained professionals - we kick blood elf and dragon tushy on a regular basis. I'm not gonna hole up like a pansy when I could be totally helping. So I gave him Wynni to get to safety and I hustled upstairs to get my battle gear on. For once, I was glad that Pizzy seems to think that his pewpew clothes are appropriate for every occasion. And it's weird, but it felt really good to strap on those spiky shoulderpads of doom for once. I guess as much as I wish for a life of domesticity, this adventuring stuff is in my blood.
I popped up an Eye of Kilrogg to get a glimpse of whatever the heck was going on. There weren't a lot of them - seemed like just a skirmish or whatever - but these guys were seriously creepy. I mean, OK, so you know how humans are freakishly tall? Well, these guys were even BIGGER. Like, at least as big as Tauren, if not more so. And they kind of looked like humans, except kinda ugly, but they didn't move quite right. And then, of course, were the dragons. Geesh. They didn't look like real dragons - they were white, for one, and had yellowy wings. I don't think we're in Azeroth anymore.

We tiptoed outside and went around to the northeast, where the attacks were coming from. I'm not sure that even the Westgarde inbfantry noticed us. I cursed up the Vrykul while they weren't paying attention (with elements, maybe? Or is it shadow? Whatever the wild new flavor that is two curses in one! It's like a fruity juice blend!). We picked one and lit him up like a firecracker with a mad pyroblast/soulfire combo. A couple more hits and he was just a black mark on the ground. See how YOU guys like being burninated, huh? I sent my succubus in as a distraction (ooh, I wanted to smack her for that smirk she gave me and Pizzy before running out there, though), and as they chased her, I sacrificed her for some sick shadow power and let loose with a few shadowbolts.
It was pretty obvious we were there at that point, and we had to hide and let the infantry get their attention again before we could let loose with any other dirty tricks. It took awhile - at least half an hour of non-stop fighting - but we finally drove them off, and their little dragons, too. Several infantrymen were injured, but no one was killed. And we EVEN managed to take one of those Vrykul guys prisoner! Obviously they weren't expecting the gnome artillery. Hopefully that'll scare them off from attacking again for awhile.

Current events in the Howling Fjord

Pizzy had to get back to civilization for some work today, so I spent the day just hanging out with Britta. I figured at the very least, I could get a feel for recent events in the Howling Fjord so I knew what to start gathering info about. She was thrilled to death to have visitors - I guess she quit her job at the inn a couple weeks ago, and she's been pretty bored and lonely at home by herself. Wynni had fun playing with the stuff she'd prepared for the baby, and Britta and I were able to just chat for awhile.

Evidently, the Vrykul - those guys who harpooned our boat - have been a serious problem lately. I guess they've been here all along, but have only become a threat in the recent years. She said that overall, Westgarde was a lot safer than Valgarde, but their activity has picked up a bit here too. Britta told me that she was thrilled that I was able to come up - evidently the only midwife in the region was killed in an attack a few months ago, and she's been scared to death about the upcoming birth ever since then. I'm like, you know I fall asleep, right? And she said that her mother would be here with any luck, and if not, at the very least Noodler could have poking rights.
Anyway, more stuff! Her brothers haven't always had to go all the way up to the Grizzly Hills for their logging stuff - there used to be plenty of forest right there around Westgarde for their needs. The Vrykul came in, though, with dragons, and burnt the forest all around, presumably to make way for ground troops. The dragon bit was kinda whoa - I asked if she knew what color they were, but she replied that she hadn't even seen what happened. All the women and children are ushered into the bottom of the Keep at any sign of danger. I'm curious and suspicious now - could it be more black dragons like the orcs use in the Spire?

The one bit of positive news that she had was that the Explorer's League was sending people up here in droves. I guess after Uldaman had been pretty thoroughly searched, they didn't have much left to do in Azeroth, and Northrend was the next frontier of choice. (Course, there's still freaking ULDUM down there in Tanaris that hasn't even been sniffed at, but maybe people were sick of desert after hanging out in Silithus for so long.) The prize site is, obviously, Ulduar up in the Storm Peaks, but they are digging in everywhere they can. There's a big operation in the Grizzly Hills, but they're setting up excavations all over the Howling Fjord because who knows what they'll find? And while they have an independent operation over on the eastern cliffs, they're also setting up one nearby and using Westgarde as a base.

She started asking me about Pizzy after that, and it's sure a lot easier to be candid when he's not wringing his hands beside me and Noodler's not giving me the protective big brother evil eye. I opened up to her a bit about the whole debacle in February; she was a bit concerned, of course, but she told me about a huge fight that she and Noodler had had during their courtship. I guess there was some problem between him and one of her brothers, and her brother had made some racist remarks, and she hadn't understood what had happened exactly and so sided with her brother at first. Just like between Pizzy and me, things got all out of hand, and neither was really listening to what the other was saying, and they ended up breaking up for a couple months. It took them awhile to smooth things over, and it was a long time before Noodler was really accepted by her family, but it all turned out all right in the end.

I summoned Pizzy back after dinner. (No mail for me, what gives? If I were still a major leader and I had someone offering herself as a spy, I'd be like, hook me UP! Information's what makes the world go round, after all.) While he worked on cutting a gem for his new wand, I told him the story that Britta had told me. I figured it'd be good for him to realize that everyone has problems and stuff, and to let him know that my brother's hardly a bastion of perfection himself. Pizzy's such a fretful person. I wish I could calm him a bit. Anyway, he seemed to at least appreciate the story, and we did make love afterwards, so that's something, right? I really wish he'd let me into that goggled noggin of his

Lunch with Britta's Family

So glad it was our last night in the inn! There were these totally noisy sailors in the room next door last night, and I swear they were carousing until a couple hours past midnight. And this was TOTALLY not the day for my narcolepsy to be worse than usual, given our luncheon with the Frostbeards. Stupid sons of troggs. I had half a mind to unleash Wynni on them before breakfast and see how they liked it.

Anyway, so, lunch with the Frostbeards! Pizzy was of course supremely nervous, and I admit that I wasn't really up for a meal with a whole clan of dwarves just then. Everyone was focused on the food for the first hour or so, though - seems the oldest brother, Bronin, had bagged himself a shoveltusk stag, and evidently that's a Big Deal. I found the meat to be a little gamey, but the dwarves thought it was the best thing since the gyrochromotom or something. Noodler told me that since it was the first week of the month, the Frostbeard brothers who were logging up in the Grizzly Hills - the ones who were lending us their cabin - were here, which was pretty special.

And, of course, what's the first thing that comes out of someone's mouth once food and ale are no longer the focus? "Hey, you must be Duerma's husband!" Pizzy turned bright red and was like, um, not really. So I swept in and said, no, we're still working on that, and then I introduced us properly. I'm hoping neither the relative nor Pizzy was too mortified. Then a couple of the brothers started talking about mining (something about the quarry at Fort Wildevar), and Pizmo got caught up in that conversation. The women, though, wouldn't stop grilling me about him. Evidently a man is much more interesting when he hasn't married you yet.

We were asked to stay for games and such after the meal, but after being there for a couple days, I was REALLY eager to get settled in, you know? Britta and Noodler weren't up for leaving yet, but Britta's brothers Beldin, Bjarn, and Broldar were heading out too. It was a long trip back to the logging camp, and they could let us in as well as anyone since, you know, it's THEIR HOUSE. We nabbed a wagon and hooked it up to Pookie after I summoned him (figuring that he could go back to eating bombons in the Twisting Nether after he was through, rather than continuing on to the Grizzly Hills like their rams). The trip only took an hour this time, even with the wagon hauling. It's amazing what a difference not trudging through ice and snow will make.

The house was this cute little A-frame with a fireplace and chairs down below, and then beds in a loft up above. They cooked everything in the fireplace. Very cute and quaint. The brothers helped us lower one of the beds downstairs for Wynni (I had visions of her crawling through the railing to her doom in the middle of the night), and then they continued on their way. After being constantly surrounded by people pretty much ever since we got on the boat, it was kind of weird to finally be on our own. But it was nice.

We had a pretty low key evening, just reading books and playing games with Wynni until she finally petered out for the night. I wasn't far behind her. Pizzy was finally OK with getting cozy with Wynni sleeping downstairs, but I'm like, dude, I'm totally exhausted. He was a little put off by that - I really haven't rebuffed him very often - but he was fine snuggling together before bed. I'm so glad that he respects me enough not to push me - I really feel like I can trust him in that regard.

Midsummer's End

So, we woke up this morning on the ship, and Pizzy was a little less uncomfortable eating in the dining hall with all the other sailors. I kept Wynni dosed with the dreamless sleep potion; I figured when we got to Valgarde, she could wake up and eat totally ravenously. We totally had some time to kill after breakfast, like 4 hours worth or something. Pizzy had brought some business reports to study, but I was totally dumb and didn't think to bring anything to entertain myself on the ship, so I mostly just wrote in my diary here. I did manage to get a little cozy with him, even if he still wasn't up for lovemaking with Wynni there.

Finally, not long before midday, we heard the telltale screeches of the wind outside that meant we had entered the fjord. Wynni kept sleeping like a rock, of course, but Pizzy and I just kind of huddled together on the bed - not like we could concentrate on much else with that racket going on. After 15 minutes or so, there was a huge bang and the ship rocked hugely and I'm like, oh crap, we totally hit an iceberg, didn't we? We could hear all kinds of movement going on above us.

I poked my head out and asked what had happened, and apparently we'd been hit with a giant spear thingee. Fortunately, it just splintered the deck and rocked the ship, but not done any MAJOR damage. Pizzy went up top so he could blast away any more incoming missles. I wanted to help, but I couldn't leave Wynni there by herself, sleeping or not. I couldn't tell what was happening over the winds, but another 20 or so minutes later Pizzy came back to our cabin, grim faced, and reported he had destroyed another 3 spears that had been launched our way. Another couple had hit the sails. Now, though, we were in Daggercap Bay, far enough away from the cliffs that they couldn't target us anymore. It sounded like the ship was going to need some major repairs before it headed back south.

We finally got the all clear to disembark, and Noodler AND Britta were both waiting there on the docks for us. Poor Britta looked like a freaking ZEPPELIN. It's GOT to be any day now. I introduced them to Pizmo (and I made Pizmo hold the still-sleeping Wynni so he would have something to do with his hands besides wring them incessantly). Britta's face turned white when she heard about the Vrykul attack on the ship. I guess they've been a growing problem as of late, and Noodler said it's lucky we were on such a big ship cause they had successfully sunk a bunch of the smaller ones. Eeep.

It took them like an hour or something to get us our trunks - I guess maybe the door to the cargo hold was damaged?n Fortunately, our luggage was none the worse for the wear. Noodler told us we'd be staying in the inn a couple nights before heading up to Westgarde, and I'm all, what, you totally promised me a cabin, and he's like, yeah, but we have dinner once a week here in Valgarde with Britta's fam, and it wouldn't make sense to ride up there when we just have to come back, amirite? He DID get us some dockside tickets for the Midsummer's End firework show over the bay, so I guess that sort of makes up for it.

Wynni FINALLY woke up, so we had some lunch there at the inn, over which Noodler asked Pizzy a bunch of questions about the kind of work he does and stuff. It was, like, normal stuff and all, but Pizzy was totally sweating it. I held his hand to try to calm him some, but he was still pretty stammer-licious. Good thing his fiscal accomplishments totally outweigh his mode of delivery, huh? As soon as I could, I started yapping with Britta about pregnancy so he could catch a bit of a break. Noodler kicked me under the table, but hello, it's not like we're going ANYWHERE for the next THREE WEEKS so he can have PLENTY more opportunities to rake poor Pizzy over the coals.

We pretty much spent the afternoon chasing Wynni ALL over Valgarde (that's the downside to the dreamless sleep potions - she doesn't have the seasickness going on but when she wakes up, MAN, is she a ball of fire). Wynni's favorite game was running towards Pizmo, and then he'd blink to where she had just been, keeping her running back and forth and screaming with laughter. He really is very good with her, much better than I would have expected from a man who's so squeamish about the idea of parenthood. Anyway, Noodler and Britta took Wynni so we could nap - evidently the fireworks show wasn't starting til eleven! Not dark enough til then, Noodler said. And then he said that supposedly during the Midsummer festival, there were parts of Icecrown Glacier that the sun never set. I'll take his word for it.
That night, we sat down on the docks for the show (Noodler and Britta had seats further up on the hill so they could actually have chairs). And, man. So, Booty Bay and Stormwind have some pretty good fireworks shows, but this was crazy. Besides just normal fireworks and everything, there was this ribbon of light streaking across the sky that looked like the Twisting Nether (Noodler called it the Aurora Borealis). And, more creepy-like, there were these flaming Vrykul ships or something hanging over the cliffs of the fjord. Let me tell you, nothing fills a gnome's heart like a good fireworks show. As we sat there, Pizmo's arms around me, the sky exploding with colors, everything just felt so RIGHT.

This is going to be a good vacation.

Journey to Northrend! Again!

Wow! So! After running amok this morning trying to get some last minute errands done, I barely had time to meet Pizzy in Shattrath so we could go on to Menethil and catch our boat. Wynni was wiling like a banshee because we hadn't had breakfast beforehand, which of course meant that EVERYONE from Shattrath to Menethil was staring at me and thinking about what a horrible mother I am. I so hate that. The REASON I hadn't fed her is that she's going to be getting seasick ANYWAYS, and it's a lot less pleasant when there's something that actually comes up instead of dry heaves. I think Pizzy must have snuck her a cracker or something because there was definitely something there that first time. Ugh.
ANYWAY! Our ship was called the Zephyr, and it was pretty huge - evidently the biggest in the Kul Tiras fleet. Besides lugging cargo around, it's also the one that carries wealthy merchants everywhere they need to go, from the South Seas to Kul Tiras to Northrend to Theramore and back again. I guess that explains why the tickets were so expensive. Anyways, what that meant for us is that we had a nice, large cabin that really was pretty nice. Definitely better than the last one.

Anyway, we set our traveling packs down there and got comfy while they loaded our big trunks into the cargo area of the boat. I took Wynni to explore a bit before we launched, but when we launched, we were back in the cabin. Pizmo was rather mortified when Wynni started puking; he hadn't been expecting that, I guess. He was doing this hovering by the door, likehe really wanted to go but he figured he ought to stay, so finally I just told him to go ask the captain when we were expected to land in Kul Tiras and to find out where a good restaurant was and to find out about any appropriate business investments we should look into while there. He was glad to go, and I was glad for him to STOP HOVERING, GOSH.

We got to Kul Tiras about half past noon, and we were told to be back at the ship by 2PM. That was plenty of time to go and eat. Wynni didn't want to come with us, and she really didn't want to eat, but I made her get some chicken noodle soup and some sparkling water anyways. We found this nice place called The Tortoise's Manor. Pizzy had a smoked summer bass with potatoes and I had breaded Rockscale cod with some Alterac swiss melted on top. Mmmmm. It was SO good.

After lunch, Pizzy went to investigate some business opportunities while I took Wynni back to the ship. She was in better spirits after having eaten something. We had a fun time chasing each other through the mostly empty corridors til everyone started filing back on the ship. There were WAY more people than who got off - I guess we picked up a ton of passengers. Anyway, Pizzy made it back in the nick of time. I dosed Wynni with a bit of Dreamless Sleep Potion (which is more unethical, dosing her or letting her endure 24 more hours of puking?), and then Pizzy and I curled up to take a nap too.The man's like a breathing security blanket. I love it.

Emissary to the Furbolgs!

Today, was totally a lot more busy. I really wanted to make sure that I had some contacts up here so I know what's shakin', you know? If my people are going to be going to be kicking ass and taking names in Northrend, then I totally need to get them some info so they're safe and stuff!

ANYWAY! So, I totally boogied up to the furbolg villages, and Noodler was like, dude, be careful, and I'm all, shyeah, I'll be fine, just take care of Wynni, mmmmmkay? I totally took the road up to Thor Modan in the Grizzly Hills, and the dwarves were totally like, holy crap, a gnome! They weren't really very positive when I told them I wanted to go and chit-chat with the furbolgs. Apparently the furbolgs aren't really excited about the dwarves digging in their hills for old crap or whatever... just like the Taurens! I mean, finding out about ancient history is fun and stuff, but it doesn't mean we should be totally starting wars or anything. ANYWAY! They totally pointed out where Drak'Tharon Keep was and told me to stay the heck away cause I guess it's held by Scourge. And they were like, oh yeah, don't try to go to Zul'Drak, or the Dragonblight, cause there's even MORE Scourge there. And I'm like, dude, I was kicking death knight butt in Naxxramas back in the day, I'd be totally fine!

At any rate, they totally got me pointed to Grizzlemaw, which is totally the furbolg capital city. I summoned Pookie and we rode through the blowing snows to the big old wooden walls and stuff. It kinda looked like Orgrimmar or something! They were a little wary at first, especially since Pookie's kinda scary-looking, but when I totally told them I was on a diplomatic mission, they let me in. I think I kinda confused them a bit - I'm totally smaller than the dwarves they had contact with, and I have awesomer hair, and I talk faster and stuff. Anyway, so I totally sat down with a couple of their elders, and I told them all about the Order of the White Tower, and they were like, cool, but what does that have to do with us? And so I asked them about reconnaissance and stuff, and they're like, why should we find out stuff for a tiny fluorescent dwarf? Man, finding crap out about Outland was totally easier - I could just make my demons do my bidding and they couldn't argue with me and stuff.

So, I totally tried to tell them that HEY, I'm so not EVEN a dwarf, and besides, I'm TOTALLY friends with the Timbermaw (well, at least, they'll talk to me now which is progress and stuff). And we just went back and forth like this for SUCH a long time, until I was like, you know what, I totally have to split if I'm going to make it back safely. So, I guess I can't really count on the furbolgs in the Grizzly Hills to give me good info, which is totally a bummer. Oh well. I TOTALLY have my ways, and I'll be able to find out crap for my friends, you just wait! Anyway, so Pookie and I flaming-hoofed it back through Thor Modan and all the way back to Westgarde. I had to fry a troll and a couple of wild animals in the process, but it's OK, cause I totally won.

When I got back, Britta had cooked up a nice meat pie with some of the leftovers form her family's Winter Veil feast, and it was awesome as always. In the evening, I totally went about the business of packing up and everything. Gosh, I can't believe that we're going already tomorrow! It seems like we just got here. It was SO totally wonderful to spend time with Noodler again and everything. On the other hand, it'll be totally wonderful to see Pizzy again. I hope I can totally get ahold of him to tell him to meet me at the docks at Menethil.

Winter Veil with the Frostbeards

So, today we totally got up early in the morning so we could get to Valgarde at a decent hour. Apparently this is the day each Winter Veil when Britta's family totally gets together for holiday stuff. So, we got all bundled up and climbed on to the rams - Britta and Noodler were totally sharing a ram, how cute is that? - and headed off to Valgarde. The weather had been nice yesterday and thte day before, but today it was really overcast as we started. And, as could totally be predicted, it started SNOWING while we were riding on thte rams. I totally thought we were going to get lost - I couldn't hear a darn thing with the screaming winds and everything. But I guess Britta and Noodler are totally used to this kind of thing, so they were like, no big!

Anyway, so we totally got there, and MAN, they so were not even kidding about the size of her family. I think she had like 4 brothers and 2 sisters, and they were all married and had kids and everything, and they were all running around crazy-like. Wynni was kinda freaked out by so many kiddos running around, especially since they were all bigger than her (dwarves, hello!). But it was fun times. They had like 5 different kinds of ale, and tons and tons and tons of foods and stuff. Noodler just grinned at me, cause we both were remembering the huge family get togethers that our family had when we were little. All the aunts and uncles from both sides and cousins and second cousins and everyone just crammed into one big house with the weirdest foods you can imagine! I can't remember a lot of the names and faces, which is probably just as well since they were all murdered by troggs anyways.

Then, just as Britta's father was getting ready to carve up the roast , Britta stood up and made an announcement. She and Noodler are EXPECTING! The baby is totally due just after the summer festival. Whee, I'm so excited - I'm gonna be an auntie! I'm so happy for Noodler. I told them that I could totally deliver their baby and stuff. Noodler just laughed and said that we'll see.

Would I be a totally horrible person to say how totally jealous I am? I mean, it's totally awesome that Noodler finally got married and is going to be a daddy and everything. But... I mean, this was supposed to be my gig. Ten years ago, I totally thought that I'd have like 3 or 4 kids running around by now, being a kick-ass midwife, enjoying family life with Rinkle and stuff. I mean, I totally dig being a hero and pewpewing dragons and stuff, but... yeah. Part of me still aches for this stuff, and it's so totally unfair the way my marriages have played out.

I mean, I guess I'm not totally a hopeless cause - I can totally always hope to get married again. Who knows what'll happen with Pizmo? But I totally get the impression that he's kinda freaked out by the idea of getting married. I mean, I don't want to get married like right this second, and I totally don't even know if our relationship is even gonna work out so we'd even get to that point, you know? But if we do, we'll have to confront that question. And I know you're totally thinking, OMG Duerma, you've totally already been married twice, why the heck would you want to get married AGAIN? GOSH! Well, listen, Mr. Know-it-all, my first husband was leper gnome'd and killed and my second one went batshit crazy and killed himself. It's not like I had crappy relationships that totally ended in divorce because I'm a total Lady Prestor or something.

And I totally have to think of Wynni. I mean, I totally think it'd be inappropriate for Pizzy to just move in with us. Besides sending her conflicting messages about the value of marriage and stuff, she's totally going to attach to him as her new daddy if he's around all the time. If she's going to have that kind of emotional attachment, then I want there to be some kind of legal connection to back it up, you know? And I know that it totally didn't work with Zandramas cause he totally buggered off even though we were married, but that doesn't count because of the dragons in his brain or whatever!

And WHY am I TOTALLY philosophizing about marriage and crap when I'm was totally talking about the Winter Veil celebration with Britta's family, GOSH! ANYWAY! So everyone was totally pumped for Britta's announcement, and then we totally dug into our food and it was SO yummy! It might be frickin' freezing up here, but these folks totally know how to cook stuff that'll stick to your ribs. After dinner, we played games like The Settlers of Khaz Modan, which was totally fun. I had a killer monopoly on ore and wheat, so even though I had trouble getting my villages built, I was totally kicking butt in building cities.

So yeah! Fun times with the Frostbeards. Noodler's got himself some totally fun in-laws, even if they ARE dwarves.

Catching up with family

So, I totally took a dreamless sleep potion last night so I slept well and everything, but of course since I went to bed at like 6 or something, I was still up a lot earlier than normal. It was totally OK, though, 'cause I was greeted by this:

Isn't that just a totally AMAZING sunrise? Seriously! I mean, it might be a ridiculously snowy place like Dun Morogh and everything, but at least there aren't these huge honkin' mountains to block the sun until it's practically noon or something.

OK, and can I say how INSANE I'm going being away from Pizzy? Seriously, I'm starting to think that maybe I should have put off the whole sex thing until after the break so then I wouldn't feel like I'm going without air or whatever. Is it always like this? I wish I could remember more about my early relationship with Rinkle, but then we were hardly ever apart because it was before Gnomeregan exploded and everyone's family lived in the same house.

ANYWAY! So, I got up, and Britta totally made us some Curiously Tasty Omelettes (and I was all, dude, Noodler, how'd you get a gal who cooks for you and stuff?), and then Noodler totally wanted to take us hiking, and I'm like, isn't there snow everywhere, and he's all, so? So we totally bundled up, and I made him strap Wynni to his back cause I'm like, she's totally not going to walk when she's freezing and stuff, and you're the athletic one Mr. Ironsmith! So he was all, OK, whatever, so long as you defend us, Ms. Super Awesome PewPewer. We rode out past the grain fields that surrounded Westgarde and started walking. It's totally wild how different forests are - like, the pine forests here are totally different from the trees that grow in Dun Morogh and Tirisfal and Silverpine Forest and Terokkar Forest and stuff. I guess maybe that's why druids don't get TOTALLY bored after a century or two.

So anyway, we totally spent maybe a couple hours out there, and then we totally came back and Britta was gone off to her job, but there was totally a tone of nice hot cider for us, so we warmed up good. And then Noodler and I totally got to catching up. He was totally there for the wedding, but I think he left like right before Wynni was born? And I've totally sent him letters and stuff - well, at least a couple of them - but it's totally different hearing it right from the source, you know what I mean? And it's not like he's heard ANYTHING about Pizzykins yet. He was tentatively happy for me - I think he may have met Pizzy waaaaay back in the days of the GCC? - but of course, he was totally an overprotective big brother and doesn't want me to get burned again. Noodler totally offered to beat the ever-loving CRAP out of Pizzy if he ever hurt me, and he totally could since he's totally beefy and everything.

Anyway, so I got to hear about how he and Britta met and got together and everything, which was totally sweet, even though I still think he's kind of a weirdo for marrying a dwarf, for heaven's sake. I asked him if he would ever move back to Azeroth so it wouldn't totally take for-EVER for me to come visit him, and he's like, no way, cause all Britta's family live in Westgarde and Valgarde. Dang it all! I totally need to get Pizzy to learn how to make a portal to Northrend or whatever so it's easy to go and see them.

Hello, Valgarde!

Oh my gosh, you guys, last night I had the worst nightmare EVER. I dreamt that Pizmo and I were making love, and then we rolled over, and instead of Pizmo it was Tiggs. I woke up in a cold sweat, but at least I didn't scream this time. That's totally progress, right? My first instinct was to turn on my comms and see if I could get ahold of Pizzy, but of course I didn't, cause HELLO, middle of the ocean = no reception, and besides, it was like 4 in the morning ANYWAYS. And what would I say to him anyways? "Hi, remember that talk we had about the past and how it totally doesn't matter and I'm cool now? Yeah, well, I'm still a little bit crazy." Geez, he totally has a hard enough time figuring me out without throwing PTSD crap into the mix too, gosh. So I totally tried to go through some of the exercises my therapist taught me, and it kinda helped a little bit, but I think I'm going to be using those dreamless sleep potions like every night or something, cause I totally know this won't be the last nightmare I have. Bleh.

So I TOTALLY could not get back to sleep after that, and so I just kinda got dressed and wandered around the ship and stuff. The few sailors that were up were totally giving me weird looks, cause HELLO, who wanders around at 4 in the morning, but what-EVER, what do they know anyways? I totally found out that we had dropped anchor and weren't reallly going anywhere at night. They told me that it was totally because icebergs and stuff sometimes come floating down from Northrend and they're totally hard to see or whatever, and it would be a disaster of titanic proportions if we were to run into one. That totally makes sense! Then I totally started asking them about how to do shippy stuff and they were really nice and stuff. I think they were totally excited to have someone awesome to talk to cause th graveyard shift can totally get boring and stuff. I figured I'd be totally wasted by the time we actually sailed into Valgarde, but whatever, Noodler'll understand and stuff.


So, I totally went back to my cabin as the sun was coming up, and Wynni was totally up already, jumping on the beds and stuff. We had breakfast, played tickle games, etc. until it was like noon? Maybe it was a little afternoon - it's so hard to tell with the winter sun. Anyway! That's when we actually saw Northrend! Huge cliffs and all that. It was pretty nifty. And then they showed us the narrow little passage we had to go through, and I was like, NO WAY, we are SO going to die, and they were all, chill! We had to wait just outside the fjord for a little bit, cause there was totally a ship coming out and it's not like you can pass each other or turn around while you're in there, you know? And geez, those cliffs were totally even taller than the ones in Azshara, seriously.

So, after what seemed like FOREVER, we finally started our journey through the fjord. Oh my gosh, you guys, we were moving so SLOW! I mean, it's not like the big old caravels can move super fast anyways, but I mean, this was even slower than normal. We had guys hanging out both sides of the boat, hollering back and forth about how close the sides of the boat were to the sides of the fjord. And oh my gosh, the WINDS, you guys. We had to put the sails down so we wouldn't get blown someplace dangerous, so they were totally just rowing, and the winds were totally just SCREAMING in our ears. Wynni started crying and holding her ears cause she totally didn't understand what was going on. We bundled up in our cabin and all, and that helped my feeling of impending DOOM and muted the sailing winds, but it was still kind of eerie and all.

FINALLY, after what seemed like FOREVER AGAIN, we felt the boat lurch to a halt and the anchor being dropped and everything. We gathered our crap and hurried up and deck, and there was Valgarde! It was totally an impressive site, too. After that skinny little fjord we passed through, it totally opened up into this frickin' HUGE bay, and there were houses and docks and everything lining the whole thing. Noodler was waiting out in front, which is good, cause I'd totally never find him amidst all the "tallheads" (as Pizzy would say, hee). I gave him a HUGE hug, and he scoooped up Wynni in his arms cause he was so totally pumped to meet her, and she totally freaked out cause OMG stranger.

He told me that he totally didn't live actually IN Valgarde - I guess he didn't jibe very well with the people there or something? I dunno. Instead, he lives up in WESTGARDE, which was totally up on the cliffs and stuff. That, uh, freaked me out just a little bit. Makes me really wish I had remembered my parachute cloak and stuff! So, he got on his ram, and I summoned my fire horse of DOOM to carry us to our final destination, which was still another couple hours away. GEEZ.

When we FINALLY got there, it was a cozy little house that kind of had both human and dwarven architecture. Noodler's wife, Britta, was totally inside cooking dinner for us and everything, cause by that time the sun was TOTALLY going down and man, we were starving and everything! She was TOTALLY cute (well, you know, for a dwarf and stuff). We had seafood gumbo and hot cider to drink. Mmm, it was SO good. I was ready to crash at that point after all the traveling and getting up early; Noodler & Britta told us they'd be fine taking care of Wynni while I went to sleep.

Journey to Northrend!

Ugh, so even though I TOTALLY wanted to sleep in just a little bit this morning, Wynni was still up and bouncing around at seven in the morning, and I'm like, can't you go back to bed, and she's all, No way! I guess I was gone almost the whole day yesterday, and I totally promised her that it would be just her and me til the end of Winter Veil and stuff. Sometimes it's totally hard to figure out how to balance family with work and other stuff! So I was like, OK, whatever, and I let her play with my tonk til we were totally ready to go.

First, I TOTALLY checked the mail and there was a letter from Pizzy saying that he couldn't stop thinking about our wonderful day together, and he totally gave me another heart candy - this one said "I'm all yours." Eeee, he is so ADORABLE! Ahem. Anyway. We rode down the elevator and hopped through the Ironforge portal and caught a quick flight to Menethil. I was totally trying to time it so we'd get there about the time they'd be boarding the ship. I guess there are a couple decent places in Menethil, but for a dwarven and human town, it's a pretty big hive of scum and villainy, if you know what I mean.

So, we got on the ship, and we had some nice accommodations that I've totally been working my tushy off to pay for. Is it totally awful that I brought along some dreamless sleep potions for Wynni to take during the trip? She was just retching so badly during our South Seas Voyage - I'd hate for her to stay in such misery. Anyway! We totally didn't have a lot of passengers, which I thought was totally weird, but it turns out that we were gonna stop at Kul Tiras to pick up more people. I guess if it's on the way, that's good planning or something, but I totally wish I'd have known cause then I coulda launched from there and saved some cash! I gave Wynni some potion and I actually took one myself, cause man, those coast-hugging voyages can be totally ROUGH!

So, after we woke up, we wandered about the ship a bit, and I totally met this regiment of marines from Kul Tiras. They were going up to Valgarde to help strengthen the defenses there or something - there's been a lot of troll attacks and what not. (STUPID TROLLS! Holy crap, they are just EVERYWHERE and making EVERYONE'S lives miserable, GOSH!) They totally had this really funny accent and used weird vocabulary when they talked. I guess when you live on an island nation that doesn't have a whole lot of in and out, your speech will be a bit different from everyone else. ANYWAY! So one of them - Corporal Swenson - put his helmet on Wynni and it was so funny because it was totally as tall as she was. She was sticking her little arms out the eyeholes and hollering frantically.

That's pretty much it for today. Traveling is really pretty boring compared to kicking Naga ass and taking blood elf names, but eh, what can you do? And not like this is a super big surprise to anybody, but I totally miss Pizmo something awful. I totally forgot to tell him that I actually sold some of my arcane dust to help finance this trip - he'd be so proud of me. Hmm. Maybe I can send him a postcard or something when I get there.