DEAD LYNX

OK, so, we totally dominate the eagle dude and the bear dude, but this lynx guy had just been kicking our butt WEEK AFTER WEEK! I mean, the squadron was totally stuck on him before I even came and took over! He just hits real hard, and he sometimes summons this lynx spirit thing that eats people, and he has this totem that totally zaps everyone dead. But this week, somehow, we totally got it figured out and he is TOTALLY OURS now! Yeah!

There is no spoon, only Zul... Aman

OK! So! I know this chick who had been leading a Zul'Aman expedition, named Elliora, and she was totally working with Lightlance, and they had a lot of people just up and quit, and she's like, dude, you know what, I'm totally no leader, I have no frickin' idea how to save this. 'Sides, I totally wanna smash demons or undead or something, not a bunch of stinky trolls. So I'm like, sweet, I can pop in and save the day! Or something.

So, I bop in there, and they tell me that pretty much Lightlance and Grendrak are the only guys who were part of the original team. So we round up a whole ton of people, but of course they totally hadn't worked with each other before, so it was kinda rough. And of course, here's this totally awesome yet totally imposing gnome shouting orders and stuff which mighta been confusing. But! Despite some fumbling, we totally killed the Identity Crisis guy and went on to kill the Lightning Bird guy. And the Lightning Bird guy totally had this KILLER AMAZING mace for Snoop Daug! That's gonna be SO killer when we go back to Serpentshrine Cavern.

Finally, we totally went to pick on this guy who was wearing a cat on his head. No, seriously! OK, maybe it was just the head of a cat on his head, but still it was like, gross. And so he started whacking Lightlance, and man, he was hitting like he was holding a dwarven battle tank in each hand! And then he called up this spiritual cat thing, who totally liked to munch on our healers, and he made these totems that totally blasted everyone to smithereens. It was freaking INSANE!

He may have totally kicked our butts this week, but you just wait til next week. He's so going down.

Rocking Zul'Aman

So yeah, Tarq totally tracked me down (I guess as a rogue you are good at finding people cause you're totally sneaky yourself and stuff) and asked me to come punt some troll up in Zul'Aman cause Hamelin totally was missing, and I'm like Holy crap! I've totally never been there before! Totally exciting! And Ila and Buu were totally there and I totally miss smashing ghosts with them every week and stuff. So, we totally went in and there was this dude named Harrison Jones who was some kind of explorer guy and he totally needed our help to get inside and stuff. And so we helped him, and then he was like, haha, suckers! And I'm all, RUDENESS! But then he totally got eaten by trolls, which is kind of gross and not a good fate for anyone but I guess he kind of had it coming to him. Anyway, so we totally go in and the trolls are totally pissed that we busted into their city and all so they're sending TONS of guys after us. It was total chaos! But we totally sheeped and mind controlled and scared them while beating the crap out them and stuff.

So, we get to the top of this platform thing and there's this REALLY tall ugly troll! And he's totally taunting us and stuff, so we're like, Bring it! And so Chryste and Calen totally go in, Calen goes all bear, and then the ugly troll guy's like HEY, I can be a bear TOO, GOSH! And so then he was a bear and Chryste was beating on him, and then he was like, HEY, I can be a person TOO, GOSH! And it totally went back and forth like that. Talk about identity crisis! But we totally kicked his butt and Safira totally plundered his closet for some totally pimp shoulders.

So THEN, we totally go over to the other side of Zul'Aman, and this troll saw us, and he's like ZOMG, INTRUDERS! And so there were guards going up this hill and they kept sending more guards from behind and big old flocks of birds again. AGAIN, total CHAOS! I don't think we're in the Molten Core anymore, Ziltal! And we totally got to the top of the hill and killed the guy who was sending all this crap after us and we got a breather. So we ran up to the top of the stairs, and there was this guy who had a troll body but an eagle on his noggin! Hello, weirdness! And so we totally had to spread out cause he'd shoot electricity at people. But THEN, every so often, he'd totally make a storm appear over someone, and we'd totally have to group up under them or get zapped with LIGHTNING! And then he had these other birds that were totally swooping in and nipping at all of us, and I was supposed to take care of them, but seriously, every time I killed one then another would come so I was like, what's the point, but whatever! We totally kicked his booty, and Zalbuu took the necklace he was wearing.

I totally had to leave then, cause I had a party to get to and Hamelin had finally showed up and stuff. But I'm glad I totally got to kick the butt of two troll demigod things! Boy! I totally can't wait to go back! Fun times in the forest!